Comments on: be inspired: the “special problem” of strong women looking for love http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/2010/02/be-inspired-the-special-problem-of-strong-women-looking-for-love/ the official blog of Sarah Wilson, journalist, columnist, TV personality Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:38:41 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Harriet http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/2010/02/be-inspired-the-special-problem-of-strong-women-looking-for-love/#comment-44667 Harriet Fri, 27 May 2011 00:21:22 +0000 http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/?p=342#comment-44667 AimlessWanderer, this is amazing - very beautiful and touching... and so v true! Thanks Sarah also for this great blog - i read it almost every day at work and being only 22 there are not many other people of a similar age who are interested so it's lovely to find other like-minded people looking to create a calmer life... x x AimlessWanderer, this is amazing – very beautiful and touching… and so v true! Thanks Sarah also for this great blog – i read it almost every day at work and being only 22 there are not many other people of a similar age who are interested so it’s lovely to find other like-minded people looking to create a calmer life… x x

]]> By: why having a good career leaves women single: explained with a study | Sarah Wilson http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/2010/02/be-inspired-the-special-problem-of-strong-women-looking-for-love/#comment-13979 why having a good career leaves women single: explained with a study | Sarah Wilson Mon, 24 Jan 2011 00:25:35 +0000 http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/?p=342#comment-13979 [...] wrote about the “special problem of intelligent women looking for love” a little while back. It picked up on what a lot of us are noticing. That women, despite being [...] [...] wrote about the “special problem of intelligent women looking for love” a little while back. It picked up on what a lot of us are noticing. That women, despite being [...]

]]> By: Mike http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/2010/02/be-inspired-the-special-problem-of-strong-women-looking-for-love/#comment-1981 Mike Wed, 28 Apr 2010 10:53:09 +0000 http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/?p=342#comment-1981 I live with a strong woman and its an eye opener to the corporate world. i must have been living under a rock i thought we where all equal. i now can see how much more smarter and more organised woman are and how arregant we are (well not me) as men. you do feel a bit weak and not so needed as a man or as a partner, if a strong woman is at the helm. ladies its almost like you want to be on your own. strong is independent, independent is lonely. Mike I live with a strong woman and its an eye opener to the corporate world. i must have been living under a rock i thought we where all equal.
i now can see how much more smarter and more organised woman are and how arregant we are (well not me) as men.
you do feel a bit weak and not so needed as a man or as a partner, if a strong woman is at the helm.
ladies its almost like you want to be on your own. strong is independent, independent is lonely.

Mike

]]> By: Dee http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/2010/02/be-inspired-the-special-problem-of-strong-women-looking-for-love/#comment-1454 Dee Fri, 09 Apr 2010 01:37:24 +0000 http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/?p=342#comment-1454 I'm a little late on this post, but if anyone is interested in reading a really insightful book on the newly evolving post feminist man, there is a free PDF version. It's not everyone's cup of tea but I found it very interesting. http://www.smilyanov.net/download/pdfs/The%20Way%20of%20the%20Superior%20Man.pdf I’m a little late on this post, but if anyone is interested in reading a really insightful book on the newly evolving post feminist man, there is a free PDF version.

It’s not everyone’s cup of tea but I found it very interesting.

http://www.smilyanov.net/download/pdfs/The%20Way%20of%20the%20Superior%20Man.pdf

]]> By: Dee http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/2010/02/be-inspired-the-special-problem-of-strong-women-looking-for-love/#comment-1413 Dee Wed, 07 Apr 2010 11:21:25 +0000 http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/?p=342#comment-1413 mmmm all very interesting and profound comments from loving, caring, capable women... I love that Mari is so open and honest. I need and want exactly what she said. Unfortunately, I find it impossible to become vulnerable enough to allow it to happen. I definitely have a "special problem" It's very hard to take time out and look at how intimidating, scary and independent I have become (on the outside) while on the inside, my heart is full of warmth, love and generosity aching to share it with someone. Friends and family are ever so proud of my drive, courage and energy I have for life!!! But I know they would be so delighted and pleasently suprised if I let my guard down and softened, but not weakened! And so would I.. A work in progress! Mari.. you are the strongest of women! Thank you! mmmm all very interesting and profound comments from loving, caring, capable women… I love that Mari is so open and honest. I need and want exactly what she said. Unfortunately, I find it impossible to become vulnerable enough to allow it to happen. I definitely have a “special problem”
It’s very hard to take time out and look at how intimidating, scary and independent I have become (on the outside) while on the inside, my heart is full of warmth, love and generosity aching to share it with someone. Friends and family are ever so proud of my drive, courage and energy I have for life!!! But I know they would be so delighted and pleasently suprised if I let my guard down and softened, but not weakened! And so would I.. A work in progress!

Mari.. you are the strongest of women! Thank you!

]]> By: Mari http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/2010/02/be-inspired-the-special-problem-of-strong-women-looking-for-love/#comment-1368 Mari Mon, 05 Apr 2010 07:09:00 +0000 http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/?p=342#comment-1368 Don’t know much about relationships and love, been only married for 14 years. But I know that I need his love in some many more ways that I can count. I need him to tell me he loves me every day. I need to feel his strong body after he has worked out. I need to feel secure that all our finances are taken care of by him. I need to know that he is the greatest dad in the world. I need him to care when I have had a bad day. I need him to be playful. I need him to worry when I take road trips. I need him to be affectionate in front of his friends. I need him to take care of my flat tires. I need him to need me. These things may not make me a strong woman but they do make me feel loved. Don’t know much about relationships and love, been only married for 14 years. But I know that I need his love in some many more ways that I can count. I need him to tell me he loves me every day. I need to feel his strong body after he has worked out. I need to feel secure that all our finances are taken care of by him. I need to know that he is the greatest dad in the world. I need him to care when I have had a bad day. I need him to be playful. I need him to worry when I take road trips. I need him to be affectionate in front of his friends. I need him to take care of my flat tires. I need him to need me. These things may not make me a strong woman but they do make me feel loved.

]]> By: JOANNA http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/2010/02/be-inspired-the-special-problem-of-strong-women-looking-for-love/#comment-1315 JOANNA Fri, 02 Apr 2010 11:57:28 +0000 http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/?p=342#comment-1315 the thing that strikes me in this whole debate is the focus on what the man should do/be/bring to the relationship and the obsession with what women want from the relationship....it's great to have goals/needs/wishes/intentions/a list of stuff that you won't put up with etc...but what about a bit of give and take? Sorry to be pragmatic but even the best relationships that I know of (mine included - 12 years to date) is about compromise and connection from the heart rather than the needs of the ego (always hard to achieve!). This is especially so when children are part of the equation!! And, there is a place where women need to be soft...as well as strong. Quite frankly if I was a guy reading some of the 'wishlists' that I hear of...I would be scared! the thing that strikes me in this whole debate is the focus on what the man should do/be/bring to the relationship and the obsession with what women want from the relationship….it’s great to have goals/needs/wishes/intentions/a list of stuff that you won’t put up with etc…but what about a bit of give and take? Sorry to be pragmatic but even the best relationships that I know of (mine included – 12 years to date) is about compromise and connection from the heart rather than the needs of the ego (always hard to achieve!). This is especially so when children are part of the equation!! And, there is a place where women need to be soft…as well as strong. Quite frankly if I was a guy reading some of the ‘wishlists’ that I hear of…I would be scared!

]]> By: Sarah http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/2010/02/be-inspired-the-special-problem-of-strong-women-looking-for-love/#comment-782 Sarah Wed, 24 Feb 2010 06:29:46 +0000 http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/?p=342#comment-782 Wow, you've thought about this a lot. I very much like this: Inside every strong, untameable woman is a little girl that just wants to be cuddled and cared for and made to feel safe and loved. Soooooo true.x Wow, you’ve thought about this a lot. I very much like this: Inside every strong, untameable woman is a little girl that just wants to be cuddled and cared for and made to feel safe and loved. Soooooo true.x

]]> By: AimlessWanderer http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/2010/02/be-inspired-the-special-problem-of-strong-women-looking-for-love/#comment-768 AimlessWanderer Mon, 22 Feb 2010 15:36:38 +0000 http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/?p=342#comment-768 It's not difficult to impress me. Just be a man. Make me dinner. Know your way around the kitchen. Know which condiments go with which foods, know excellent wine. Know how to laugh at yourself if you utterly fail at this. Have a clean apartment. Don't live in filth. Appreciate yourself enough to create a harmonious place for you to live in. Wash your sheets. Clean your bathroom - the cleanliness of a man's bathroom sink equals that of his balls, I learned once while watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy on a sleepless night. Put up a Bob Marley poster, maybe a world map. Burn some insence. It's okay for your place to smell like Wild Spices instead of Gym Socks. Pick a book or a good movie over a stupid TV show when you're on your own. Pick a calm conversation when you're with me. Have your own hobbies. Live your own life. Have lots of interesting things to say when we see each other. Listen to the interesting things I have to say, too, and even the not-so-interesting ramblings that escape me from time to time. Don't worry, I'll listen to yours, too. Be silly with me. Laugh a lot. Say stupid things. Fool around. Poke me, tickle me. Blow bubbles, talk through a sock puppet every once in a while, make up hilarious words for our personal dictionary. Make love to me slowly. Touch me gently. Kiss me softly. Contemplate my naked body like it's the most astonishing, gorgeous sight you ever laid eyes on. I'm not made of glass, but it makes me feel special when you suddenly treat me as if I am. Never lie. Be honest. Tell me the truth. If something is on your mind, just bloody say it already. How am I supposed to trust someone who can't even tell me that the dress I'm wearing makes my hair look fat, or call me out on some yucky behaviour? Scold me when I truly deserve it. Don't worry, I can take it. Yeah, I'm a strong woman. I won't bend over backwards to please you if you don't deserve it. I won't stand quietly by your side and be your armcandy. I'm not your fashion accessory. I'm not a trophy. I will never be owned by a man. If being with you starts being more about sacrifice than about rewards, I will shake you off like a bad case of fleas and move on with my life. I will, however, stand by your side and be your lifelong lover and friend, not through a showy religious ceremony or through dull, legal paperwork, but through a conscious, personal choice. Inside every strong, untameable woman is a little girl that just wants to be cuddled and cared for and made to feel safe and loved. You just gotta know how to find her. And finding her is easy, really. Just be a man. It’s not difficult to impress me.

Just be a man.

Make me dinner. Know your way around the kitchen. Know which condiments go with which foods, know excellent wine. Know how to laugh at yourself if you utterly fail at this.

Have a clean apartment. Don’t live in filth. Appreciate yourself enough to create a harmonious place for you to live in. Wash your sheets. Clean your bathroom – the cleanliness of a man’s bathroom sink equals that of his balls, I learned once while watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy on a sleepless night. Put up a Bob Marley poster, maybe a world map. Burn some insence. It’s okay for your place to smell like Wild Spices instead of Gym Socks.

Pick a book or a good movie over a stupid TV show when you’re on your own. Pick a calm conversation when you’re with me.

Have your own hobbies. Live your own life. Have lots of interesting things to say when we see each other. Listen to the interesting things I have to say, too, and even the not-so-interesting ramblings that escape me from time to time. Don’t worry, I’ll listen to yours, too.

Be silly with me. Laugh a lot. Say stupid things. Fool around. Poke me, tickle me. Blow bubbles, talk through a sock puppet every once in a while, make up hilarious words for our personal dictionary.

Make love to me slowly. Touch me gently. Kiss me softly. Contemplate my naked body like it’s the most astonishing, gorgeous sight you ever laid eyes on. I’m not made of glass, but it makes me feel special when you suddenly treat me as if I am.

Never lie. Be honest. Tell me the truth. If something is on your mind, just bloody say it already. How am I supposed to trust someone who can’t even tell me that the dress I’m wearing makes my hair look fat, or call me out on some yucky behaviour? Scold me when I truly deserve it. Don’t worry, I can take it.

Yeah, I’m a strong woman. I won’t bend over backwards to please you if you don’t deserve it. I won’t stand quietly by your side and be your armcandy. I’m not your fashion accessory. I’m not a trophy. I will never be owned by a man. If being with you starts being more about sacrifice than about rewards, I will shake you off like a bad case of fleas and move on with my life.

I will, however, stand by your side and be your lifelong lover and friend, not through a showy religious ceremony or through dull, legal paperwork, but through a conscious, personal choice.

Inside every strong, untameable woman is a little girl that just wants to be cuddled and cared for and made to feel safe and loved. You just gotta know how to find her.

And finding her is easy, really. Just be a man.

]]> By: Carousel — 02.19.10 : evolution you http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/2010/02/be-inspired-the-special-problem-of-strong-women-looking-for-love/#comment-701 Carousel — 02.19.10 : evolution you Fri, 19 Feb 2010 18:23:43 +0000 http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/?p=342#comment-701 [...] be inspired: the “special problem” of strong women looking for love: Sarah Wilson writes about dynamics in man/woman relationships and how it is often necessary for [...] [...] be inspired: the “special problem” of strong women looking for love: Sarah Wilson writes about dynamics in man/woman relationships and how it is often necessary for [...]

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