This week I choose to not be right (and find beauty in a field beyond right and wrong).

Ever been stuck in a toxic relationship rut? I mean really stuck.

Perhaps it was with a spouse, a partner, or your boss or neighbour.  An issue arises, they react aggressively, you react just as primitively to their reaction, and so on and on in a spiral of right versus wrong.  Soon, you’ve both sunk into a festering quagmire of codependent hurt. You might know better than to descend like this; perhaps you’ve had therapy. But each time the scab’s knocked off the wound, you retaliate like an old lizard. You’re that stuck.

It’s rotten, this quagmire. Blame and shame turn rancid very quickly. And the detritus of old pain gets awfully sticky and suck-holey. So it’s hard to leave, or to shift the energy in a new direction.

But what if there was another path?

I’m off to New York this morning. So posts will be a little thin for a bit. Perhaps.

I’m off to New York to interview a few people for my column and to start writing my book, which will all happen in the New York State Library (the one in which Carrie was meant to get married to Big in the movie; and where they filmed Ghostbusters….and countless other movies). Seems bizarre to travel all that way to sit in a library. But I reckon it’s going to work.

I love New York. It’s a place where things happen. And where you can extend yourself.  Everyone tries to put their finger on why the place gels, including Alisha Keys and Jay-Z.

Earlier this week a bank ran a social experiment with a money tree (but it doesn’t grow on them, right?). It pinned thousands of dollars to a tree in the city and then filmed how people responded. In many respects it reflected what goes on internally for all of us when dealing with anything to do with money. But it also shows how assumed behaviour can be distorted when we’re faced with blatant generosity.

The PR who put on the stunt sent me a few observations which made me smile:

The below popped up on Mumbrella today. If you’re in media, or interested in media, you should definitely subscribe the newsletter. Apart from anything else, Tim Burrows, who runs the site, is one of the industry’s good guys. Knowledgeable, kind, fair, smart. He’s also a wonderful example of what I talk about in the clip – that the media landscape is shifting and media players are having to define their space themselves, creating their own platforms and products. It really is an exciting time to be in the game!

As an aside, it’s also the first time I’ve commented publicly on the MasterChef experience. Not sure how that one slipped out…

A few weeks back I posted about why I don’t drink bottled water. Happily it inspired a stack of people to reconsider their habits.

If you’re not yet convinced, watch this Story of Stuff video (it’s a little long, but fascinating) below. And then scroll down to some info on the effects of flouride, especially for anyone with thyroid issues. A number of readers highlighted that it was an issue (thanks!), so I get Angela Hywood to give her thoughts.

Angela’s thoughts on flouride and thyroid:

Here’s the thing about Tony Abbott, the man pitted as our next PM: he’s un-pin-downable. His brazen comments about lying on The 7:30 Report a week or so ago demonstrated this. My opinion in the aftermath was that they indicated he wasn’t up for the job as leader of Australia.

And, then, yesterday, I met the guy.

He was “in conversation” with the ABC’s brilliant journo Annabel Crabb at Sydney’s Writer’s Festival. He was quite restrained yesterday. No royal gaffs. Although he did mention that he subscribed to the idea of “asking for forgiveness, rather than asking for permission” . Which is a mantra Kerry Packer used to work to. When I worked for Packer, this maverick approach was certainly how things got done – you went ahead and did bold things and dealt with the fallout later. I loved working this way, because it meant you could take risks (you just weren’t allowed to f*ck up). Things got done in fresh, untainted ways… at least some of the time.

But, I ask again, is this maverick approach how the (potential) leader of a nation should operate? Shouldn’t a leader always seek permission from their constituents?

Anyway, I digress slightly. Because the THING I’m stuck on is the broader idea of AUTHENTICITY.

This week I give gifts

There’s this thing I do in cab queues at airports. I don’t find it weird. Although you might. When I get to the front of the queue I sing out to the crowd to ask if anyone would like to share a cab to Bondi (which is where I live). Or Downtown (when I visit New York). Or Rundle Mall (when I find myself that way). At first people are affronted by such an invasion of “stranger distance”. But then they soften. Especially when I offer to pay.

Of course, the practice is efficient (it shortens the cab queue for all concerned), and saves carbon emissions in it’s own modest way. But mostly I do it because it feels good. And a bit daring. And, golly, if this world doesn’t need an injection of daring from time to time!

Seth Godin does the same. Seth is one of the most prolific marketing experts in the world. He’s written 100-plus books, invented genius online businesses well ahead of the curve, has a blog following of 500,000 and is responsible for terms such as “permission marketing”, “idea viruses” and “purple cows”. And, truthfully, I think he’s the most authentically impressive person I’ve ever interviewed. And not just because he shares my penchant for cab queue bombing.

OK. Seth Godin just alerted me to this one. A gizmo that allows you to publish things on the interweb a little privately. OK, just a little. The best way for me to demonstrate it to… demonstrate it: This is who I had lunch with today http://trick.ly/2P3

Yeah, you got it? I’m clearly not that secretive. But you know that, I reckon.

This url shortener – trick.ly – works by allowing link access only to those who can answer an intimate question about you. Inner-circle stuff. I love that the url for the site is actually trick.ly (no dot-com).

Lunch, by the way, was ace. The company was astute and dynamic and authentic. I drank green tea and ate parmigiana. Then there was a sun shower. The end.

On Wednesday I posted a flash mob clip that made me cry. Sometimes I just need to cry, to release the bigness of life that I’m feeling in my being. It’s not sad. It’s just big. And it needs to be expressed.

Whether you need to cry, or get happy, or sad, or clean the bathroom or get fired up to go out tonight, express it with a playlist created by stereomood: emotional internet music.

This cute and really generous site has created a whole bunch of superbly curated playlists that you can play for FREE.

Emotionless? Hey, you can become a more interesting person with intriguing, talking-point musical tastes by just clicking a random emotion. See if the tunes bring something up for you?!

Some of the moods I like: Elegant, Foreplay, Lonely, Spring Cleaning. And, of course, the Feel Like Crying one, which has 260 songs, including tracks from Cat Power, Band of Horses, Janis and Jackie Wilson. Sweet!

Chia seeds are everywhere. Yeah, you’ve noticed? If you’re new to their magic, they’re a South American seed – a bit like a poppy seed. My understanding is that Western Australia are now the biggest producers of it in the world. There are a few Australian chia suppliers around, and you can buy them at all health food shops. I’ve seen them at Woolies, too.

So why do I love the slippery little suckers? Well, they are the most nutritious superfood on the planet (according to some). They contain: