my challenge this week: not getting lost in my busyness
Busyness. It’s a persistent theme in my life, tapping me on the shoulder, demanding to be dealt with in a new way. With some freshness. Some softness. Sigh… some softness. I like being busy. But too busy and I ricochet off away from myself. Away from my heart.
Problem is, I’m so used to being busy that sometimes I manufacture “too busy”, because that’s what I’m used to. I’m used to responding, reacting, coping with busyness. It’s my default position. Or it was.
In the past few days I’ve been really aware of how often I freak out about being too busy…I take a breath, return to my heart and, watching my frenzied self flinging off into outer space to attend to all my crazy crap, I realise this doesn’t have to be “too busy”. It can be just busy enough. And I can smile at it. And stay close to my heart.
It’s a shift in perspective that takes a bit of awareness, centredness and also an acceptance that this is just the way life is now. There ain’t no utopia to return to. There’s no wonderfully sublime default position that, once we get through our to-do list, we have to finally get to.
Nope, busy – at least for me – is here to stay.
(PS. When I say things like “stay close to my heart”, I’m referring to a feeling of groundedness. For me it works well to imagine sitting in my heart space. As in, not in my head and not in the outside world.)
I’ve been working on this acceptance for the past few days. Last night Sky, a spiritual adviser and meditation teacher I used to see when I was working as editor of Cosmopolitan (she was my refreshing counterpoint to the ra-ra of the rest of my life), sent me a lovely email.
Sky (that’s her above) often picks up on EXACTLY what I’ve been feeling. It’s a nice take on busyness:
We are all experiencing how rapidly time is flying past, and so often filled to overflowing with activity and busyness. Getting lost in this busyness cost us our equanimity. Every soul in the universe is pure potential and each moment is an opportunity for mastery over our realm of matter. Such mastery comes with the realisation that there is nothing to master. When BigPond fails to transfer the broadband to the new apartment, or the queue at Ikea is tediously long and then you discover what you have bought doesn’t fit anyway – these are the golden moments of mastery. Awareness is all of it. What are you aware of in this moment? The inaccessible internet or the sublime peace that come with the deep knowing that love is the principle and process of the universe. Curious, how with this awareness, comes a call that the internet is now working.
How are you coping with your busyness right now? How are you not coping?
Oh beautiful! Awareness is absolutely key hey?
Good one Sarah and great insights from Sky.
[Reply]
I like this, also had a look at Sky’s website and enjoyed one of her pieces on disease not being a ‘problem’ as such, more an issue of awareness…
Sarah have you read a book called Love and Other U-Turns? It’s sort of a love story about a journalist leaving the city but i liked the spiritual element, where she gets exactly what she needs as soon as she lets go and throws everything away….
Keep up the inspiring posts,
Caitlyn.
[Reply]
cheers for a good sounding book to read Caitlyn…. it actually sounds like my own story!!
[Reply]
A few years ago i decided to leave busyness behind me.
Just before I fell pregnant I was someone who used to work all day, head off to the gym, go for a run and then play a game of touch. I used to challenge myself to fit it all in. Then several years ago soon after bringing my first baby home I was typing an email, breastfeeding at the same time & feeling very pressured. I think it was about this time that I became aware that this was of living wasn’t going to work for me or my family.
It took more years and lots of headaches to shift my way of living from being busy to living a life that is full but not overflowing.
It has been a journey, the adrenalin of busyness is very addictive & difficult to let go of.
How am I going?
Most days I am doing great with it and very proud of the shift I have made.
[Reply]
Sarah – I’ve been reflecting on the Socrates quote you tweeted yesterday: “Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” And it’s so true – it’s funny how we probably function better when busy, what’s that old saying, “whenever you want to get something done, give it to a busy person.” I love busyness, I thrive on it and indeed deliver my best work.
But I become mechanical and that’s where I can validate Socrates wisdom: my heart fades away, usurped by the adrenaline of my mind and body. And that’s when relationships wane. Interesting for me busyness is quite self-serving, sure I’m looking after my client and/or employer, but at the end of the day I’m predominantly feeding myself.
What do I do? I’m lousy at it. Sabbaticals are good for me, not unlike what Tim Ferriss & others suggest to be the new “work ethic”. Peak periods of busyness followed by times of stillness & recuperation, then another peak period of busyness, etc. But not everyone can do that.
But to get around the self-serving aspect, I find it useful to everyday ask a team member, a colleague, a family member, a friend: “What can I do for you today?” It’s strange that I would want to add to a busy load but it brings perspective, and something magical happens when you give, putting aside your own priorities, even momentarily.
Also, something I’ve just tried is: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective – so in my prayerful, meditative times I’ve recently changed location & pace, which has opened my heart to new thoughts & new hope…
[Reply]
Busyness is definitely something I have struggled with. Kinesiology and yoga are two things that bring me back to myself and back to my heart. Ironically though, while I was studying Kinesiology (whilst working full time) I became far more busy and adrenally stressed. Life has taken a quieter turn this year now I’m finished and I love it. Though when busyness is your habit, it’s definitely something you need to continue to be aware of. It can definitely be addictive, especially when, as Ian says, you do seem to get so much more done when you’re really busy! Love the focus you give to come back to acceptance. And nice insights from Sky too.
[Reply]
Hi Sarah, Although I liked the above post. I came across this website a while ago & whenever I want to take some time out to reflect & get perspective I watch this. I hope you like it as much as I do.
http://vimeo.com/2164626
[Reply]
I can really relate to this. I learnt how to meditate a few years ago and it really really helped me slow down and just be!
However now I have a baby son Im the busiest I have ever been and I completely forgotten how to slow down. Ill be revisiting yoga and meditation again at some point. When I have time!!!
I always read your column Sarah. Love it!
[Reply]
Hmmm.
A friend and I were talking about just this the other day: how being really busy (or feeling really busy) is a GREAT way to avoid being in your heart (love that expression Sarah!) and therefore a great short-term way to avoid dealing with our stuff. In the long term, not so much.
I do my yoga every day. That helps. I have been doing morning pages too. That also helps. It means I have to get up earlier, but I am so much more balanced through my day. It’s like tuning a TV so the fuzz disappears.
[Reply]
I’ve been talking about this for a while with people, have you noticed that we have stopped asking people ‘how are you?’ in greeting and now it’s all about ‘you busy?’ … the talk of being busy is flooding our conversations and the more we talk and acknowledge it the more we continue to manifest it. I think it’s boring to say we’re busy, it’s so 2008!
I’ve been challenging random people to come up with a different response to this constant question that we seem to want to measure our lives by. What would happen if we started saying no to that question? I’ve said it (although it wasn’t true) and there’s been a small gasp in reaction!
I’ve yet to come up with an appropriate response, suggestions are welcome.
[Reply]
found your site on del.icio.us today and really liked it.. i bookmarked it and will be back to check it out some more later
[Reply]