sunday life: to finish or to abort?
This week I annihilate my unfinished tasks
I call it the Un-Albumed Photo Problem. In households around the world, shoved at the back of some cupboard, is a box of old photos with negatives that have come loose from the packet. This box elicits much guilt. It probably hasn’t been touched in years; I mean, who gets photos printed these days? But rarely does a week go by when someone in said household doesn’t say to themselves, “I really should put those photos in albums”. I had dinner this week with a frazzled TV executive toying with taking extended leave so she can regain control of her life. “If I could just get time to put the baby photos in albums,” she said. “That’s all I need.” The “baby”, by the way, is now 18.
It’s like the Un-Albumed Photo Problem is a barometer of our chaos and a measure of how long it’s gone on for. How many years have yours remained un-albumed? 18? 25? Wow, your life is seriously outta control!
Now your unfinished project might not be a flotsam of photos. Maybe it’s IKEA shelving that you’ve been “meaning to” wall-mount since last Christmas. Or a beef bourguignon you’ve been “meaning to” make – you’ve bought all the ingredients and they’ve been sitting in the freezer for three months. It haunts you with it’s unfinishedness. It makes you cringe when you think of it. And so it lingers longer.
I know this is a global problem because productivity and happiness experts around the world have suddenly taken an interest, frothing forth five-point fixes on blogs such as Unclutterer, GettingThingsDone and Zen Habits. To summarise for you, there are two schools of thought. The first says when confronted with a pesky unfinished task, just do it. And get over it. Shut down distractions, set aside time, do the most hideous task first and don’t budge until the last screw has been allen-keyed into the wall. To date, this has been the predominant vibe: geeing up frazzled folk to get more done faster.
The other, more contemporary school, however, says, don’t do it. That is, strike the task off your to-do list once and for all. Advocates of this unfinished task annihilation encourage being mercenary and deleting one commitment every day. Doing so forces you to get clear on what actually needs to get done and what doesn’t. Often an unfinished task has become redundant. We don’t realise this until we sit down with a red marker pen and think about it.
As I’m a neurotic doer, I work to a well-oiled to-do list. Each week I write a new one, transferring undone items from the last list to the new one. Some items can carry over from list to list for six months, unexamined. I’ve also got a basket in my study of warranty certificates I haven’t filled in and bits of plastic that need to be araldited that instills panic in me every time I pass it. Which is ludicrous. How ludicrous?
Well this week I committed to striking one thing off my to-do list and from my little basket of guilt every day. This is what I uncovered: two warranties that had expired anyway, busted headphones I’d been “meaning to” send in for repair from an iphone I’d lost anyway, a reminder to follow up a business opportunity I realised – once I paused to reflect – I didn’t want to be a part of and a reminder to hand-make a get well card for Great Aunty Eileen. And this is the horrible bit: Aunty Eilleen died two weeks ago.
Unfinished task annihilation proved to be extremely productive for me. It freed me up to do the things that mattered, dump the stuff that didn’t and extinguished the paralysing guilt that stopped me being wise enough to know the difference and from being real. I didn’t have to hand-make a card; I could’ve just written a kind note to Aunty Eilleen, or called her. It also reminded me of the ironic productivity of doing nothing. When you do nothing, things mostly unfold as they need to. When you don’t follow up something, if it’s important enough it will track you down. Those photos? They can probably stay in a box until you find yourself wanting to peruse them. As many a Buddhist will tell you, a flower doesn’t have to remind itself to bloom, or find a more efficient way for it to do. It just happens.
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OMG! Sarah, this column made me smile so much as I recognised myself in every paragraph. Our procrastination must indeed be universal, which kind of makes me feel less ‘out of control’ really.
Everyone’s the same!
For me, it’s photos from my ‘big’ OS trip with an old boyfriend from 1996. I was determined to lovingly set out our 18month odyssey in albums, but we broke up while I was still albuming Austria (about 14 of our 18mths in) and I lost momentum. Crying into my red wine while listening to Jeff Buckley seemed more important.
Funnily enough, the photo albums sit in unpainted IKEA shelves! Ha ha… I bought them raw with good intentions of lacquering up a storm.
But you know what? They have slid so far down my list of unfinished tasks, perhaps I had already subconsciously struck the tasks off my list. Now I can consciously make that decision and wait for sweet relief.
Mind you, there will always be forms to file, bank statements to cross reference, tax receipts to collect, aunties to call… and like you, Sarah, I carry over my weekly ‘to do’ lists, often for months.
I do like giving myself permission though to just ignore some of the perceived chaos. Suddenly, I don’t feel so disorganised at all.
Really enjoying your writing Sarah… cheers, Mel
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June 14th, 2010 at 6:21 am
Sometimes we all just need to know others share your neurosis, hey!! Don’t take Jeff Buckley too seriously!! It can lead dark places. x
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So true! I often wonder if I’m the only person with a written to-do list and then little ‘add-ons’ in my head. I often re-write the list and, like you, find that a few things have become redundant or morphed into a different kind of task. I’m thinking of finding the Getting Things Done book, but don;t want reading it to become another thing on my to-do list!
Sorry about Aunty Eileen x
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There are times that I like to rebel against my to do list and let go of it if in item has been hanging around for a long time.
This post made me think about the projects that I have on my list & I realsied that although I live by a daily and weekly to do list ‘bigger” projects don’t go on a list. I do this so that I can avoid the feeling of doom when faced with tasks that keep rolling over. I also became aware of the many things I just don’t do or worry about as I don’t want them to absorb any of my time – filling in warranties is one of those. I have never filled in a warranty and sent it away.
Ialso stopped organising photos into albums. I throw mine in big boxes and when the moment grabs me I will pull the box out and look through – I love the way that memories will wash over me when I discover a photo – embrace the randomness of the expereince.
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And the third solution: Blog about it. In March I started a program of Daily Awesomeness, so I’m committed to doing something amazing every single day for a year (and blogging about each one). Some are difficult (pay off debt) some are expensive (hot air balloon ride) and some are exactly that kind of thing (de-clutter, finish making a quilt I started sometime in my teens, sort my wedding photo album, etc). When I have to do SOMETHING every day, sewing on a button can look good. The key is that I’ve told readers that I’ll do it – and that I’m procrastinating doing something else
Louise
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I’m loving your blog, Sarah, we are thinking about the same things at the same times – it must be the zeitgeist!
I like that you say that things usually unfold as they should anyway, regardless of whether we sweat the small stuff or not. It’s so true, and I find the opposite is also true, that when you push the big stuff around, it often moves not quite in the direction you want it too – ie if something (or somebody!) is really resisting moving in a direction you want, it’s because that direction is not a great idea.
I am trying at the moment to start a tiny business between where I have been living and Australia, and part of my trying has been to stop myself from overdoing everything – to remind myself that little baby steps, and only doing what is necessary is often far more productive in the long run than trying to second-guess every single thing while not sleeping at night for thinking too much and eventually working myself into a state of collapse. Not helpful for other people either!
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