i am bewildered, and I am mad
A reader (and I’m sorry, I can’t recall exactly who) pointed me to this Rumi quote on bewilderment….
There are many guises for intelligence.
One part of you is gliding in a high windstream,
while your more ordinary notions
take little steps and peck at the ground….
…We must become ignorant of what we have been taught
and be instead bewildered.
Run from what is profitable and comfortable.
Distrust anyone who praises you.
give your investment money, and the interest
on the capital, to those who are actually destitute.
Forget safety. Live where you fear to live.
Destroy your reputation. Be notorious.
I have tried prudent planning long enough.
From now on, I’ll be mad.
Oh, gosh, this speaks to me. “I have tried prudent planning long enough”…. Ain’t that the truth. I am often so rigid with how I live my life. I wake up on my days off with a plan. I venture into relationships with a set idea of who I think I am. I think I know how this life is meant to unfold.
But of course the best things happen when things don’t go to plan.
I want to access the part of me that glides in a windstream, with open lungs.
The other day, the day after the Julia Gillard leadership spill, I think we were all bewildered. Everyone I spoke to felt this sense that all the rules no longer applied. Everything had shifted.
I described it as “that space between breaths”.
I felt ill-at-ease for a while, but then felt expansive and fresh once things settled. Bewilderment does this, when we acknowledge that the dis-ease is just awe.
I’m also liking the idea of destroying my reputation. I do this every now and then. I periodically venture into territory marked, “but what will others think of you”. I like doing it. I like proving to myself that if I maintain solid conviction and moral certitude, things will flow just right.
What are you doing to get bewildered right now?
Julia confuses me. I know she needs to tow to party line, but still…
I am confused by everything at the momebnt. Particularly my clumsyness…
I have been exploring the issue of bewilderment with a wise woman who helps me to go deeper in my understanding of who I am and who I am wishing to become, so I read your post with interest
I like this idea of being bewildred, I am a person who likes to wonder. However you can wonder from the safety of what you know, where it feels comfortable and right. Bewilderment represents a more active sense of doing- actually being in a place (putting yourself out there) where you are feeling mix-up and confused. When I go to these places (and it is probably more than some but not as often as others) I stretch my assumptions and beliefs about myself and others and I find that like when I stretch & work different muscles in my body during a physical workout, I grow both in mind and body (I become stronger & flexible)….although it hurts at the time.
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so very confused right now, my entire existence is being challenged and i am happy to go with it. Even to the extremes………surrendering to the universe and it’s pull on me!
Thank you. An interesting post that gives me plenty of ideas to percolate. Reminds me of a quote that I read recently. To paraphrase…’You can’t order a life plan like you order a takeaway meal. The sooner you realise that the more content you will be with your life now. After all, what else is there but now?
Jalal ad-Din Rumi also said: “Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.”
Oh Melissa, hope the confusion abates…
So inspiring. I want to live in wonder and bewilderment. To be awed by what is around me, rather than taking it for granted.