Lily Allen searches for meaning…and the doubters hate on her
Lily’s just come out saying she can’t see the point of life and that she worries about her life not having substance.
And she’s decamped to the Brazilian rainforest to speak out on deforestation.
“A lot of my life is very vacuous. It doesn’t have a lot of substance and I guess I feel it’s a bit pointless. And, yes, coming here makes me feel I can put my fame to good use. I’m not pretending to know everything and I don’t understand this as well as I should, but I’m here to get my head around it.”
She also admits she hates how “glossy” celebrities look, and thinks of it as a personal challenge to rebel from that stereotype, telling UK You mag.
“I see it as my responsibility to be like that. There are always pictures of me looking like s**t in the papers, but you can’t wear make-up all the time, and if you do, just because you are famous… well, I don’t think it’s a very good message to send.”
All of which is quite interesting. And bravo to her for making changes to her life. But more interesting are the comments from readers this news has prompted. Why are some people so affronted by people asking these kind of questions of themselves? Sure, she’s in a privileged position where she can pull out from work and head to Brazil to champion a cause. And, yep, she’s reaped many rewards from the “vacuous” industry she’s in. Somehow, the haters feel this disqualifies her from wondering if she’s being real.
Which is dumb. It’s precisely when you’ve been ensconced in bullshit that you find yourself asking these kind of authenticity questions. The contrast necessitates the questions. You need to see the darkness to seek the light. People like Lily, for all kinds of reasons (fear? ego? circumstances? destiny?), have been ensconced in the bullshit. Their power comes from having seen the extreme and choosing the “light”.
I think the haters get fired up because it reminds them of their own need to ask the questions. This is confronting. They’re not affronted by Lily’s privilege or any perceived hypocricy. They’re affronted by the questions.
I’m seeing this at the moment on this blog. And elsewhere. Are you asking these kind of questions? Are people around you confronted/affronted by them?
I ignore (then laugh) at haters. Don’t worry Sarah, one swallow does not a summer make anyway. Nor even a few gulps.
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Good on Lili! Isn’t it natural to question your life and ask questions about life? I don’t get the haters on this one.
I guess the people who don’t ask the questions, find denial a lot easier.
I think there is a life template that a lot of people follow. If they stick to their life template which could be spouse two kids, or it could be to have a lot of consume goods, you know the stuff that society peddles, then they can feel they are doing ok. Take away a template and perhaps they’d be lost. Sticking to the template is a lot safer for them.
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I often wonder what people find so confronting about asking questions – is it that they don’t have the answers – and isn’t that the point. I am continuing to deal with the fallout of a friendship breakdown that was kicked along when I asked what did I want from life? / What did I want to create? and then set about living. What can you do? – stay silent, bury your curiosity…..not my style.
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All good questions Sarah. I have no idea who Lily Allen is, please excuse my ignorance, but I like the jist of the blog. These are questions I ask myslef just about everyday at the moment and have for some time. It causes me anxiety and pain at times and to bury my head sometimes seems easier. But I have come to believe that the anxiety and pain is occurring for a reason, I need to listen to it, taking the action, the first step is the hardest part. Fear is what prevents me, of that I am sure! I have come to believe that fear drives most, if not all, dysfunctional behaviour. Fear that I will not get what I want or fear that I will lose something I already have. The ego is usually defined around this question of fear. I meditate on this but it doesn’t replace taking ‘action’….mediating gives me awareness but doesn’t replace taking appropriate action……whether that results in subjective failure or success. These are not important, the life experience is far more important and growing from it.
Following on from your theme of authenticity recently I have enjoyed the topic and it has provoked much thought and a little more motivation. Thankyou.
I like the phrase ‘you need to see the darkness to seek the light.’ Something I have learned from experience and very much relate to. From that experience, and having worked with many people in that regard, most people don’t or won’t decide to change unless they are in or have had enough of the pain and suffering they perceive themselves to be in. Why would they?
I don’t know whether it’s because I choose to read and communicate with predominately positive people these days but I believe things occur in swings and roundabouts…….extreme shifts then meeting at a reasonable middle road. I hope we’re in the middle of that process as a collective conscience, moving away from selfish gain and pure market capitalism to a more sharing, community based and caring attitude/culture. Mightn’t happen in my lifetime but I believe it will happen. It just might take alot more global pain to provoke more change……something far worse than the horrendous BP oil spill or maybe the longer term repercussions from this environmental disaster.
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Being authentic is key, asking questions – vital. LOVING is everything. Personally Sarah it has been upsetting to see friends deeply saddened by the way in which they have been treated… leaving them to question themselves. It’s that simple, it is not about the confrontation of questions – it’s about how one human being should treat another.
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Good on Lily for reminding people that what we see on TV and in the media more generally is manufactured – it’s not as it always appears!
By the way, Sarah, I’m a huge fan of your column! And I’ve never posted on a blog before – so I’m pushing the envelope on two counts!
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Yeah, I sometimes think people I come into contact with are confronted by my lifestyle (very low income, part time work, or no work and just doing projects and art, no savings, no house, only owning mostly recycled goods etc, prioritizing leisure, family, friends, balance etc)… but its hard to say, maybe thats just in my head, and its me passing the judgement that they are even thinking that, who knows?! I guess best to just get on with it…
I love Lili!!
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I love this lady. I think she is one of the most honest people in the limelight.
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I love this post, and I am totally in the midst of these questions. I’m not rich or famous like Lily Allen, but I have an OK job, a nice house, a lovely husband, and some good friends. Yet I feel a sense of vacuousness as well — mostly it’s centered around my job, yet since the job supports my lifestyle, the questions of authenticity begin to extend to every aspect of my life. I’m not prepared to drop everything and go to Brazil or anything, but I an desperately searching for ways to make my life line up with my values. I would love it if you can suggest ways that us regular folks can start making these much needed changes.
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