listening to the quiet voice
Do you have a soft voice? What I mean is, do you have a secondary voice – not the loud, chattery one that natters away in your head most of the day – but another quieter, gentler voice that pipes up just when you need it to? You hear it when you listen for it.
I do. It gets a bit drowned out most of the time. I’m a very abrupt person – I barge around, mostly, and wonder why there’s so much chaos in my life. And am often too busy to hear my quiet voice. And yet I crave a quieter, stiller way.
The louder, more bombastic voice gets priority because it seems more urgent, more “right”. It’s the voice that’s been rewarded over the years. I’ve fed it with attention. Like laughing at show-offs.
It’s taken years to realise the loud voice really has no idea what it’s on about. It wings it. The quieter voice has the answers. She just doesn’t need to shout.
Ever noticed how when you are super certain, you’re happy to sit back in an argument or in banter and quietly put your point across at the end? Yelling just makes things chaotic and noisy and distracting. There’s no point competing with the loud voices. It’s like that. My quiet voice sits back and waits for me to be ready to hear it, ready for me to lean in and listen better.
The DailyOM posted this a little while back about learning to hear your quiet voice:
It is generally true that the more insistent voices in our heads delivering messages that make us feel panicky or afraid are of questionable authority. They may be voices we internalized from childhood or from the culture, and as such they possess only half-truths. Their urgency stems from their disconnectedness from the center of our being, and their urgency is what catches our attention. The other voice that whispers reassurances that everything is fundamentally okay …
Once we hear it, we know it speaks the truth. Generally, once we have heard what it has to say, a powerful sense of calm settles over our entire being.
I’ve found when I do listen to my quiet voice, I am more certain. I become more certain. I become that wise chick in the room with a knowing aura.
I’ve learned to listen to my quiet voice by sitting still each day – 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening, in meditation. For the first five minutes or so, the loud chatter rambles on. Then, with gentleness is rambles off, and my quiet voice steps forward. Often it doesn’t have to say much. Often it just says things are cool.
I also step back from bombastic situations and smile at what’s going on…my quiet voice is heard when I do this. My quiet voice gets more and more solid with practice. And so do I. I kinda like being the wise, quiet chick with the knowing smile. It feels way more powerful and infectious.
Have I lost anyone with this? Do you know what I mean? Do you have ways of hearing your quiet voice?
I love my quiet voice, it’s what keeps me going and I make sure I check in with it at least once a day but it’s usually more than that. I need to know that everything is okay even though it doesn’t feel okay ‘out here’ … it’s taken me a long time to be able to do this, but the hard work in learning how is worth it because I now love that sense of calm feeling it radiates after checking in.
I too love that ‘knowing aura’ but I have to keep the ‘ego’ in check at the same time!
Sam
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Sarah, you just get it right so often. Bang on with this. I always thought my quiet voice was my gut feel, my intuition, it always seemed so much wiser and sager and rational than my other instincts, but low and behold, hello Quiet Voice. Time for me to listen to and trust that voice a little more! I hope you’re book is a collection of all this fabulous thinking, I think we’re all learning from you and learning about ourselves through your blog and musings!
Thanks as always!
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From years of yoga and reading books about things like intuition etc. I am actually finding it harder to hear this ‘quiet voice’. I have been told so much that it exists and to trust it, so I try to listen for it or work out what my intuition is saying – as opposed to the non-stop thoughts that rattle on all day. But I am finding it so hard to distinguish the two! How do you know which is which? Am I just trying or forcing too hard to achieve this?
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Hey Sarah,
I’m often described as quiet or even shy but some people have noticed that I speak my mind more succinctly and listen more intently than most other people. When I do speak, it’s something worth hearing and people always listen because they are surprised to hear me speak.
I think what you’ve described is my quiet voice and I am almost always listening and hearing it. The only time I tend to get a loud voice is when I am stressed/nervous/anxious. This is probably the time I need to listen most to my quiet voice but unfortunately I haven’t had much success. I’ll try harder and keep your post in mind next time
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Oh no you haven’t lost me, I crave the quiet voice and too need to practice getting in touch with it. WHen I am – life is a breeze – when I let the loud voice take over, chaos reigns supreme.
The quiet voice is the bomb – learning to listen to it I think is the secret to living your best life.
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Hmm I am not exactly sure what you mean- although it seems to be true. But maybe that is the how it should be, as it is not“factual” information but something less tangible. What I am interested is to create the right environment where you can let this kind of experience unfold. I agree meditation helps. Does anyone have any other suggestions for creating such an environment? BTW, what kind of meditation do you do?
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[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by sarah wilson, LK and Brooke Alexander, Sharni Montgomery. Sharni Montgomery said: RT @_sarahwilson_: a little gentle, grounding moment for you this afternoon http://bit.ly/aZMMXr [...]
Yes I know exactly what you mean by a ‘quiet voice.’ When I can’t hear it, I write letters to it and let it reply to me. Like in ‘Eat, Pray, Love,’ you know? My quiet voice (or gut feeling, or intuition) has the final say on all my major decisions.
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I have only relatively recently come to know what you mean, which means that I am mostly coming accustomed to just how loud my Loud voice is. But I think that is a pretty good first step, because identifying that at least makes me realise something softer is there – even if at the moment its seems almost silent
And thanks for motivation to practice my meditation more!
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surprisingly, mulit-tasking helps me hear my quiet voice. I don’t just mean listening to music while washing the dishes, but doing something that takes a lot of physical energy that blocks out my loud voice. I’ve just started running and it is the most effect way for me to drown the “insistent half-truths” constantly plaguing my mind. I’m actually just about to go out for a run. My loud voice is extra annoying today.
Thank you for such a provocative post!
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This quiet voice is much treasured in the design process too. Normally a piece of debussi, for example, has the effect of quietening down the noisy shell. Then you slowly work your way to quieten your soul so you can ‘listen’ to that inner voice before sketching.
I, by nature is quiet so contrary to you Sarah, I strive to literally speak, more and louder! Not quieten down
Denise’s experience is worth a thought too 
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Hey Sarah, I mentioned this post in my latest post – it helped me in a moment where I was challenged by Sole and Soul as the same time
http://www.sharnanigans.com/2010/07/more-to-life-than-shoes/
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Wow just added this to my favourites. I find my loud voice at its most annoying when driving or mowing the lawn and now repeat to myself I am just driving the car/mowing the lawn in my head until it goes and then I can tune into my quiet voice. Crazy but works for me also when you can’t sleep at night…
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Thanks Sarah
I discuss this same idea with my clients 
I will pass your post on as its a great way to reinforce the message. Alison….Beware of running and “upping the ante” to drown out the loud voice…that is how all of us “A-type” personalities end up in trouble…burn out…auto-immune disease….chronic fatigue….Sarah knows this all too well 
Me too! LOVE yourself, be kind and SLOW DOWN 
Be here now xxoxox
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Wow, this blog is always bang on what I am reading or feeling at the moment, keep up the good work!. I have been doing guided meditation that i found on total balance a coaching website and it’s great just plug into your ipod and off you go but i’d like to try TM, when i have the money.
About the quiet voice, i picked up a book while working at Penguin publishing in the free pile, so the book came to me in a way which is nice! It’s called a New Earth and i’m sure you may have read it , by Eckhart Tolle. This book describes the quiet voice and loud voice in a different way, but you can take and leave what you want from it because it’s just one persons theory but it does make sense. I think we all need to get to know ourselves a bit more and blogs and books are a great start to learn how because sometimes talking about this sort of thing can make people uncomfortable and is not “socially acceptable”.
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I do not meditate, but I find that when you make time for it, such as gardening alone, or on the treadmill (but without the ipod on), my quiet voice surfaces….
Thanks Sarah, until I read your article, I thought it was only something I did
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Have you read Paulo Coehlo “Guardian Angel” [I'm not really sure about the English translation]? Because he mentions “parallel conscience”, which is, to my understanding, quite similar to your “loud voice”. I am still reading the book, so I can’t really tell you more except that it is worth the read if you are interested in meditation, reseting and focusing your mind.
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Goodness, Sarah, you sound like a Quaker! We use silence and stillness to open our minds and hearts to that quiet voice, and let it guide us. It helps us to live a better – simpler and more caring – life, and keeps us in touch with an existence beyond ipads and housework…..
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