I was wondering if you could help me with my book?
I’ve been writing my book for a bit. And since a few of you have kindly asked, it’s coming along well, in fits and spurts. I’m not sure how many of you have written something as long as a book, but GOSH IT HURTS. It drags up very challenging aspects of one’s self that one has managed to keep nicely safeguarded by routine and distractions and working for other people.
The biggest challenge I’m having is with my authenticity. Digging deep enough to be totally real. It’s easy to write stuff that’s clever or impressive or appealing to a particular audience that you might have conjured. Words can be wonderful cloaks.
I like this quote from J.D. Salinger about how he gets in touch with his authenticity so he can write his best:
“It takes me at least an hour to warm up when I sit down to work…Just taking off my own disguises takes an hour or more.”
Some days it takes me most of the day. Then I have I flourish of truth at around 4pm.
But to be square with you: The book is a sort-of-memoir, sort-of-philosophical reflection, sort-of-guide-to-getting-well. But I want the book to reflect where we’re all at. I want it to be about stuff that we all connect with and connect through. And this is where I thought you might be interested in getting involved.
Can I ask for your help? I’d really appreciate it, if you had the time.
Would you mind simply sharing any thoughts prompted by any/all/one of the following questions:
* What topic or theme (eg whimsy or “inside people”) or post or reader comment explored on this blog really connected for you? Got you in the guts? Had you talking to friends about it? “When I read the post about…. it was such a relief to know other people experienced the same thing.”
* Or perhaps there’s a question you’d like to ask me…that you’ve been meaning to…“Tell me Sarah, how did you….”
* Are you lonely? What’s missing from your life? “In my life, I yearn for….”
I’ll also be holding some group chats about life and philosophy and stuff coming up soon. Would you be interested in joining in?
Kindest,
Sarah x
PS…this is the view from my writing desk. Apologies if you’ve already seen it on Twitter.
Anything you write about simplifying your life and cutting back always resonates with me – whether it be sugar or stress or material goods.
I also love the few posts I have read about your family – you all seem so close and again, that resonates with me.
And yes, definitely interested in joining in discussions!
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I’d love to join in, I love your perspective.
In my life I yearn for a mother figure. My mum died when I was 11 and I feel I’ve missed out.
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March 24th, 2011 at 6:50 pm
Dear Andrea
I felt compelled to share that after yearning for an emotional connection with a mother figure, I now have many. First it was a pottery teacher at school, then a French teacher, there was also a therapist that taught me how to talk to my soul and how to love myself…5 years ago I did an amazing weekend course called Woman Within that is about to come to Australia http://www.womanwithin.org/weekend/australia_about.html
hope this link works. And now I help staff on those weekends and have found AMAZING DEEPLY SOULFUL CONNECTIONS with women, some of them mother figures. And finally, 18 months ago I met the most amazing man, and guess what? He has a beautiful, conscious, searching, spiritually connected mother that I get to hang out with! Let the universe know what you’re looking for, write about it, sing about it, draw about it, collage about it….the women you need to come and talk to (and hold) your 11 year old self will find you, of this I am sure. x
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March 25th, 2011 at 8:13 pm
Hi Andrea
I lost my mum when I was 11 too. I’m 30 now, and I still feel like I miss out. It’s like everyone else gets a ready-made handbook to life, and we sort of have to blunder along and find out things for ourselves.
K x
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In my life I yearn for my authentic self, I’m not sure I’ve discovered that yet.
What I’d love to know is, once I’ve tapped into that authentic self, how do I move on to self-acceptance? I’d love to know how to build self-confidence.
Finally, Sarah, how do you digest all of the massive amounts of information that you have access to daily? (especially via Twitter) I sometimes wonder if this improves life or whether ignorance really can be bliss at times..
Anyway, no matter what you write in your book, you have a guaranteed sale right here! Love your blog and your column, they (and you) have definitely made my life sweeter
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I love the spirit of your blogs, the cutting out of ‘crap’ and getting down to what’s real for you, and encouraging people to do the same. I enjoy the way you encourage feeding the parts of you that really need feeding, rather than pandering to every whim of the ego.
I’ve loved your blogs on ‘the beauty of not being right’, and ‘how my slouch is making me sad’ – your comments regarding yoga poses and emotions in this blog really resonated with me, as I’ve experienced the same.
Would be delighted to participate in one of your discussions.
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Hi Sarah, I totally hear you about writing…particularly writing a book, the idea kinda scares the pants off me. I am on wk 8 of ‘The Artists Way’ working through my ‘creative blocks’ and it’s interesting the stuff that comes up.
My most loved posts are the ones where you talk about being gentle with yourself, softening, taking things more easily, being aware of your Type A. My most loved posts of yours are usually related to how you are doing and have done your healing- I can’t explain in words what it does for me- it speaks right to me and I feel as if in you’re saying it I then have the permission to feel and do the same.
In my life I yearn for greater peace & stillness…permission to let go (yes I know, it lies within me) I yearn to let go of that pushy part of me and to not be triggered by others ‘pushyness’; society’s pushyness.
My question is- how do you acheive balance, from all that I see of your work, you have led a busy lifestyle, working hard with great dedication to your craft, acheiving alot & enjoying great success- so how does that allow for balance?
Thanks for inviting us to join in your book writing journey, I feel we can all learn from each other.
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The post I went back to countless times was the ‘Love What You Love’ one.
This was partly because the responses were so awesome and laugh out loud funny, but mostly because of how much I had in common with everyone else… At least a couple of things on every person’s list resonated with me. I walked around for a few days with that warm sense of the world being small, and our similarities outweighing our differences.
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Hi Sarah,
I’ve never commented on your blog before, but I often read your column in Sunday Life.
I thought I’d try to help you out by responding to the ‘Are you lonely? What’s missing from your life?’ question. So, as you said, in my life, I yearn for… a partner. I’ve never had a quality long-term relationship, and it hurts. I’m in my mid-30s and I would like nothing more than to share my life with someone. In a way, I’m lucky that I’m not craving to have children – as I haven’t got anyone to have them with. I don’t want a partner so that I can have children with them. I want a partner for me – children may or may not end up being part of the deal, depending on what he and I want.
Apart from making an effort to date (which I do), finding the right partner is one aspect of your life that you have very little control over. You can go out and forge a career, buy and furnish a property, save up and travel the world, you can even have a child… but, as Phil Collins said (or, at least his mother said), ‘You can’t hurry love.’
Hope that helps with your writing, in some way.
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March 23rd, 2011 at 11:39 am
Beautiful sentiment Lonely Gal x
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March 23rd, 2011 at 1:17 pm
Oh Lonely Gal! I so hear what you’re saying! It’s such a difficult and frustrating position to be in because it is something you have no control over.
In my darkest hours I have thought that, from an odds perspective, maybe I am destined to be ‘the spinster aunt’ of my family, given that everyone else is coupled up!
But at the moment I am in a more positive place and I am treating my singledom as a limited window of opportunity to really figure out who I am without the influence of another person – focusing on creating the life I want to lead (single or not), planning the things I want to do, and actually appreciating that I have a lot more freedom than many of my coupled up friends.
I am trying to keep the faith that one day my situation will change, while also gradually accepting that it may not. A very tricky balancing act!
Anyway, I hope it helps to know that even though you are sometimes lonely, you are definitely not alone!x
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March 24th, 2011 at 6:57 pm
http://www.fluentself.com/blog/stuff/bolivia/
Dear Lonely Gal – Please click on this link above! I found a link to the Fluent Self blog here on Sarah’s site (thanks Sarah!) and I LOVE it. Last night I read the post about “Bolivia” and when I see what you’ve written here, I can only implore you to go and read it! It’s beautiful and heart-wrenching and there are about 240 comments on this Bolivia post that you can start reading too. You’ll understand why the blog post has a strange name if you go and look…
With love
x
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March 25th, 2011 at 12:04 pm
Dear Lonely Gal,
I hear you! I have been extremely lucky to find my partner, but I understand completely that feeling, even though I was in a relationship when I was having it! Finding a partner is about finding that connection with someone else.
Here’s what I believe, and I hope it helps you: There is a plan. I don’t know if you believe in God, some other higher power, the universe, serendipity, the rainbow serpent, Bob from down the street, but I know that everyone has not just one but so many people in their life they are meant to know, meant to meet, meant to make a connection with. I believe in fate. I believe there is a plan. There is a partner for you, and you will meet them and become one with them when it’s meant to happen.
For me, being a mother was a huge goal and I have complications that mean I had to do it young (I haven’t had kids yet). I considered ‘settling’ for the wrong person just to make this goal come true. I’m so glad I didn’t. It was revealed to me quite suddenly, all in a rush, that a man I had known since I was 14 years old was my soul mate, my kindred spirit. This was shown to me just 2 weeks after breaking it off with the wrong one and I knew in an instant, even though we had been friends for a long time. I knew it was meant to be.
When the time is right, when you’re in the right place, when the higher power, the universe, whatever, feels it’s right. The right one will reveal themselves to you. You will find that connection.
I wish you so much luck on your journey, but don’t ever give up.
With love,
T.
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March 25th, 2011 at 12:31 pm
Hi Lonelygirl,
I have been in a relationship for 8.5 years and was in another one for 7 years. I had a gap (by choice) of about 3 years which during that time I completely resisted the idea of dating.
I met my partner through work and knew that there was a connection, however fought it for a year until I finally decided to give it a go.
During the 3 years of singledom, I really thought long and hard about who I wanted to be, what I wanted my future to look like and what type of person I wanted to be with. I went as far as writing down specific goals such as type of job, location/suburb I wanted to live in, and the complete characteristics of my new partner … done to hair colour, friends and goals and values. Therefore I really knew what I was looking for in a partner.
I needed to do this as my life was so off track for a longtime and although my first BF was the love of my life, we had a lot of issues and I did not see myself as that person I was with him. Hence my ‘bucket list’.
I then met my partner and ticked off everything on my list … except I forgot/didnt want romance … and guess what? He’s not romantic lol…. whoops.
So, I fully believe that if YOU know what you want, and are clear on that, and you visualise your path, you will get what you want and need.
I also believe in fate, however I also believe that you are in charge of your own destiny and if you are clear on your goals, and visualise your path you will get what you want.
So just be careful what you wish for.
xx
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March 25th, 2011 at 12:55 pm
“I also believe in fate, however I also believe that you are in charge of your own destiny and if you are clear on your goals, and visualise your path you will get what you want. ”
Agreed!! It wasn’t until I knew 100% what I wanted that I got it!
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March 31st, 2011 at 12:01 am
Hi everyone,
Thanks so much for your thoughtful responses.
I believe there’s someone out there for me. I’m just not so sure if or when I’m going to meet him. I hope it’s sooner rather than later, as it’s sad going through life alone. Also, it’d be nice to meet him before my window of opportunity to have children closes. Even if we decided not to have children, it’d be nice to have the option, rather than having the decision made for me as a result of my limited biological clock.
Every other aspect of my life is flourishing – career, friends, my volunteer work and exciting plans for the future. I don’t need time to figure myself out. I’ve already done the legwork. That’s what makes it so frustrating. I’m ready. I’m well and truly ready to share my life with someone. But things don’t just come to you when you’re ready. They come to you when they come to you – or they don’t. That’s life. Nobody said it was fair.
Thanks again for your kind words. I really appreciate it. And I remain hopeful and optimistic. Well, what choice do I have?
LG
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When I read the post about… Julie Goodwin’s why/how she prays. Hands down the best thing I read in 2010. It always pops to mind.
I adore the food/being your best self posts. Adore. It opens my eyes to better ways of living.
Tell me Sarah, how did you….become the editor of Cosmo? I’m particuarly intrigued about this as you never seem to talk about it. What I’ve read from Mia Freedman, is that it involves an interview with Hearst as well, and I find it puzzling that you’d never read an issue of it (and didn’t seem to be a glossy mag girl? You seem very far removed from that lifestyle, and I can’t imagine you in it! Would love to hear more about that.
Thanks Sar! xx
Whens the publish date?
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Hiya Sarah,
The theme that has resonated the most with me would have to be simplifying. This includes everything from clutter, eating habits and in general life (no more email Sundays). I think we (as a whole) get so caught up in over thinking and complicating things that we often times forget that getting back to the basics will help us achieve what we are really after in the first place (i.e. to make exercise a priority you might not need the special shoes developed in a lab by super awesome scientists).
In terms of missing I feel I am missing a connection with myself. More of a what it feels like to be truly me (and not in self indulgent gen y kinda way) and how to feel authentically like myself everyday/while life-ing.
You mentioned lonely which is interesting to me as I saw a quote from Mother Teresa recently (which I can’t find at the moment) that read something along the lines of “people in India are dying of hunger while people in the west are dying of loneliness”. I thought the quote was on the true side.
As always, thank you for posting and making me think!
Neha. X
Ps. Hell yeah for the Group Chats!
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The simplifying posts have also resonated with me, and the posts about getting yourself “clean” – clean eating, clean thinking (your meditation posts in particular), and taking time off alcohol/sugar.
Good luck with the book – your writing view is gorgeous!
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“When I read the post about…. it was such a relief to know other people experienced the same thing.”
Definitely any posts related to your AI or health, and how that flows on to simplifying the rest of your life. Though I don’t have AI, I have many health problems and just knowing that there is someone who is confident enough to talk about it and maintain the search for answers means a lot to me personally and I have found it inspiring in seeking answers to my own health questions.
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Sarah, your blog is always authentic, informative, funny and cleverly crafted. It appears whatever topic you write about, coincidently, turns into my theme for the day (esp the one about ‘backing the f*ck off!). You seem to have a daily knack of picking a subject which resonates with so many of your readers.
What impresses me most about you, as a person/writer, is your honesty, vulnerability and sometime, naivety. Although you appear very confident and glamorous on the red carpet or hosting an event, reading about your insecurities makes you very real. Like so many of us, I would say that you are looking for approval and reassurance from your readers, despite constantly telling yourself that ‘I’m ok’.
Good luck with the book.
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I find that you often manage to spill my thoughts onto your blog in an honest/funny/eloquent way. Of all of the times that this has happened, last week you almost left my mouth gaping with your article about feeling like a fraud as I thought “do other people actually feel like that too!?” I am very lucky to have been very “successful” all throughout school and now while studying law but I’m constantly waiting for someone to catch me out for not really being THAT good at the things that I receive so many accolades for. I don’t think it’s an esteem issue. I think it’s because I can always see ways that I could be doing better so it’s sort of like “…they think that was a noteworthy achievement, but i bet they could do it too if they did xyz.” It provides me with my motivation to keep striving but, like you, I constantly wonder whether I’m choosing the right path and where that will lead me. You place a major emphasis on being honest with yourself and I don’t think we can do that unless we constantly assess what’s driving us. I’m doing law because right now it suits me. In 5 years it might but not, but I’ll deal with that then. This has been the hardest thing for me to establish — we’re all just making the best decisions with what we know. Feeling like a fraud may just be a feeling common to those who are constantly striving to be the best version of themselves.
I’m looking forward to buying your book (probably multiple copies)!
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Simplifying and being authentic – that really reflects what I’d like to achieve.
I yearn for community. I don’t really feel I have a community. My family is (sadly) dysfunctional and we are not close. I feel a bit isolated where I live, and though trying to make a community happen around me, it isn’t coming easily. I love the idea of living in harmony with my neighbours, having a community of different generations who share ideals, spend time together and help each other out.
Maybe that’s why I’m trying to have my very own basketball team, plus sub all under the one roof! I think it reflects my desire for family harmony (which I don’t have with my own parents and siblings).
I’d love to be involved in your conversations.
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Title: Dear Hashimoto
Sub-title: Letters From A Friend
Content Source: posts & info from blog readers and your own experiences (life in general and dealing with AI)
Contents: (3 broad themes)
- Love What You Love
- Your Typical Day
- What I Yearn For Most
Sub-Headings/Chapters:
- Being Still, Creating Peacefulness
- Self-Acceptance, Nourishing Your Soul
- Simplifying Your Life
- Authenticity (actions or state of mind?)
- Peace With Your Food
- Having It All (in small bursts)
- etc
Themes Expanded:
1. Love What You Love –
Allows readers to look inside those secret hobbies and desires of others allowing them to not only connect but also learn. The reader soon understands that whilst our tastes can be very different in what we love that we all share the same goal – daily joy.
2. Your Typical Day
About all the quirky neurotic ways in which people around the world spend their day (including writers and those with AI). We’re all just a bunch of habits/routines that switch on every morning and start running. Reading all the different ways people live their daily lives and experiencing the variety in life allows the reader to connect with them to obtain insights and ideas – even though the reader might live a completely different life (eg; artist vs corp. executive).
3. What I Yearn For Most
“My mother once told me – grief is the price you pay for love ” so said Prince William in NZ this week when inspecting the earthquake losses. I think when people write about their most painful experiences in life (loss, hardship, etc) it gives great comfort and strength to others currently going through the same turmoil (or even something entirely different – pain is pain – when your human). “One meat popsicle” as Bruce Wills says in the Fifth Element.
Not sure a memoir at age 38 is great – maybe when your 68 – it will practically write itself then! The again, Justin Bieber has written one,
But definitely pepper the chapters with parts of your life story so far which fit into the chapter theme (along side those from your blog readers).
We will still love you Sarah no matter what you write.
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I love all the AI stuff. I literally had tears in my eyes from relief reading your first post on AI (ok, now Im gonna sound like a weepy doofus, so bear with me…) because I thought I was a freak and my body was broken and there was no fixing it. Anyone who has done the GP/ natural remedies/ endocrinologist merry-go-round knows how frsutrating it gets when NOBODY agrees, and going into a book store to find information on Hashi’s you are usually confronted with books on pregnancy, weight loss and cancer but nothing on what you need. You google it, and find worst case scenario situations, like people who just want to complain that they are always tired and put on 100kg and you get scared. It feels frustrating. And hopeless.
So yeah, back to me tearing up like a raincloud. (I just want to point out that I stayed dry-eyed throughout the Notebook so Im not THAT weepy by nature!) I must have read that post about 8 times in a row. Just so I could say – I get that! I get up and fall over when I am inflamed too! I know how it feels to have a “recalcitrant bunch” of specialists who cant tell me how sick I am or if I will ever have babies. It was the first time it occurred to me that Hashi’s could be a BLESSING and I wasnt a freak. A blessing! How awesome!
Not only did I send that post to my boyfriend (we havent had a fight about my illness since, and we used to fight about it ALL THE TIME) I also sent it to several of my friends. One other who has the disease, so she could find hope too, and also to my best friend. So he could see that Hashi’s people can be awesome and achieve what they want to and that he could stop worrying about me. Then I posted it on my Facebook. I still talk about it. It changed my life, and my outlook on life.
Aside from that (and sorry for the mammoth reply!!) I love your posts about uniqueness and being authentic. I like that we get to be all proud of being nerdy and a little big bogan sometimes, and not give a shit what clothes are fashionable, and wear frog shoes and be who we are. It’s refreshing. Count me in for any group chats too!!
xx
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This might sound depressing but some of my favorite stuff has been the stuff about not being happy all the time like your Sunday life post on the benefits of being happy and whatever gets you through the night salright. I’m a rather moody sort of person and when I first got into yoga I was of the opinion that I had to be all rainbows and calla-lilies, I also bought into the idea that to have good friends and a man I had to be all bright and shiny with my hair all done up all the time. After a while it got exhausting and it was good to reach out and see some writing on the internet that spoke to the days I just wanted to be under a blanket and stare at the closest wall. Plus life kinda started working when I started doing me hehe. Anyway enough of all that talk, I love your Sunday Life Columns, and I’m definitely down for some chats.
Oh and “in my live i yearn for the courage to reach out and grab what I want with both hands, to live my life fully, love fully and unapologetically, and hopefully be a positive impact to those around me.”
Good luck with the book, can’t wait till its out.
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I love all your posts; the ones that resonate most are the wellness / auto immune posts, simplifying your life and most recently the authenticity posts. I loved your Sunday Life column a couple of weeks ago on career; I was talking to a friend about how I’d love to work as a freelance writer, and I said that I’d feel too much of a fraud to go out there and get the work. Then I read that column and it reminded me that even the most accomplished people struggle at times.
When the craziness of modern life takes over, a little visit to your blog reminds me to de-clutter, simplify, take a breath and give my kids a cuddle.
One question that I’ve wanted to ask is do you think that all the lifestyle and diet changes, and a slower approach to life have helped improve your auto immune issues? I’m still battling with that ball of string you so eloquently described!
Count me in for any discussions.
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My favorite posts have been your Sunday Life posts. Reading about your personal journey through everything from organizing your life to self-monitoring your life. I also love when you talk about your day-to-day activities, how you switched from being a devoted runner to just making it a goal to move every day, biking or walking. These simple reflections about everyday life and the big lessons we can find in the smallest occurrences are what have kept me coming back for more.
Also, I have a question for YOU. Are you reading any books to help inspire you and your writing? Do you ever read fiction or just non-fiction/self-help type books?
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March 23rd, 2011 at 11:33 pm
Agree with what you love about the posts, just hearing the everyday stuff.
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“In my life, I yearn for….”
If only it was simply one thing. There. In that statement is my answer. I yearn for more simplicity in my life.
I was lucky enough to be offered a job to manage a wine bar in Margaret River over the summer and it was incredible to get out of Perth city for a few months. Most days consisted of me waking up, going for a run on the beach, a quick snorkel for abalone, stopping to pick fresh blueberries on the way home and then enjoying the sun while reading, playing my guitar or writing.
Now that I am back in Perth and completing my final year of and Advertising degree, I am afraid I will too quickly go back to the complex life I thought I wanted. Not missing out on parties, keeping up appearances and keeping other people happy all while concentrating on study.
I yearn for the simple goal I had while in Margaret River. Doing things for me and not for how I want people to see me.
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Hi Sarah
Many of your blogs have struck a chord with me!!
Your blog and Sunday life column in which you wrote about thoroughly being me, was very special to me.
For years I have struggled to be myself and thought that I had to follow the crowd and party and do the things 20-somethings do. It was refreshing to read that you went through similar experiences. I am now brave to be myself and doing the things I love to do and this makes me happy.
I also love all your blogs about food and nutrition. As a nutritionist and naturopath student I have learnt so much from these blogs and they have lit a fire in my belly and have driven me to be the best nutritionist/naturopath that I can be and to share my knowledge with people and learn as much as I can from people and everyday experiences. Can’t wait for your book to come out!!!
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March 27th, 2011 at 8:15 pm
Wow!
At the moment it’s bloody hard for me to accept that, as a 21 year old, it might be O. K. (!) to sit on my lonesome at night, immersed in books about nutrition, or religion, or alternative education or any other thing that I am passionate about instead of drinking or doing drugs or getting home at 3 am.
I truly thought I was the only one.
So, thank you.
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‘it takes me at least an hour to warm up when i sit down to work…just taking off my own disguises takes an hour or more.’
Some days it takes me most of the day. Then I have I flourish of truth at around 4pm.”
I really relate to that, I’ve made myself stare at a blank page all day and then written half a draft of play way into the evening. I think the time is used for you to subconsciously find the right voice for whatever you’re writing.
As for blog posts, your chat on anxiety and how it effected your life I found very interesting.
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I actually just trawled through your archives Sarah (searching for a picture of stars, I thought you may have a whimsy one I could use for my blog)… I have been reading your blog from day 1 so I have read every single post but it was lovely to revisit. I can’t wait for the book.
As much as I love your Sunday Life columns Sarah, the posts that often resonate with me are the little ones you do during the week. I think they tend to be more heartfelt, personal and whimsy. Not in any particular order…
1. Back the f*** off! I still refer to this one in my head when I realise that I am panicking and rushing things, thinking that I am running out of time. I’m not.
2. Soul nerd. Because it describes me perfectly.
3. The elegance of a morning routine.
4. Sunday life: in which Seth Godin gives me a gift. I still live by his “leaning into life” philosophy (or try to).
5. My brand of sad… what’s yours?
6. Top five regrets of the dying.
7. Sunday life: in which I learn the beauty of not being right. Love the analogy of the “ball”.
8. Permission to quit the “low rent” experiences.
9. Sunday life: in which I be thoroughly me. Life-changing, for me.
Tell me Sarah, how did you… get your first big break into writing?
In my life, I yearn for… meaning. And perfection. Which is impossible… unless I change the definition of perfection to mean true and whole and the best I can be.
Thank for sharing your wisdom Sarah! xx
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Hi Sarah,
Everything you write about on your blog resonates so well with me. It sounds silly but you are so similar to me in many ways it is scary!
I particularly enjoy your posts about happiness and feeling less anxious. I also love your willingness to try new things and stick to them – such as the no sugar approach. Your blogs about food and eating closer to the source have encouraged me, although always a healthy person, to really focus on what I am putting into my mouth.
Something I have often wondered about you is how you made the transition from studying law to being a journalist. Being a journalist was my life long childhood dream until I missed out by 0.5% at the end of Year 12 of being accepted into a journalism degree. From there I too studied law and politics and am now working in the field. I have never lost the yearning to write however and to become a journo so was wondering how you made that work.
I can’t wait until your book comes out and I would love to take part in further discussions. X
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Hey Sarah!
I read your blog all the time and the thing that I guess resonates, or connects with me most is you. That’s obvious because your the writer and your aim is to connect with the audience, but this is different. I feel like your my friend and this blog is just like meeting at the coffee shop with your best friend and having a proper catch up! And you have the influence of a friend to. I don’t think my nearest and dearest would have persuaded me to buy a steel water bottle to be more environmentally friendly, or give up alcohol for a month, or stop being such a shopaholic or start a yoga class and most recently give up sugar (sorry, but I only lasted three days, but now at least I’m more conscious of what I’m putting in my mouth). Iv’e also started cooking with quinoa and brown rice (and I made the brown rich spinach gratin and it was the biggest.bbq.hit.ever!) All of which I think are very impressive feats for a 20 year old!
Anyway, my point is, helpful or unhelpful, I think you are the inspiration here. The fact that you are selflessly sharing your experiences on a platform where potentially hundreds of thousands of people can read, and participate, is amazing and I thank you.
After going through my first heartbreak, your blog was the biggest comfort. Your articles inspired me to be stronger and confident in myself and my decisions. And that being single isn’t the end of the world!
I am in my last year of uni studying journalism could only dream of a career that emulates yours. You have had such a positive impact on my life in such a short amount of time. I don’t usually comment but I just thought you might like to know. Good luck with the rest of your writing! The view looks amazing! Enjoy it while you can xx
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March 23rd, 2011 at 2:58 pm
Stacey, that made my heart do a little skip. Thank you.x
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March 24th, 2011 at 12:47 pm
Aw you wrote back! Haha, I’m glad! Thank you so much! Have a lovely day! x
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Sarah
Salinger’s quote is a beauty – wish I was more like Somerset Maugham who once said: “I write only when inspiration strikes. Fortunately, it strikes every morning at nine o’clock sharp.”
Steven Pressfield’s “the War of Art’ is a personal favourite on beating back Resistance. And easy & quick inspirational read for all creatives but really everyone would get benefit from it.
My favourite posts are those where you reach into your heart, sometimes there’s joy, sometimes sadness, sometimes the whimsy, but it’s always you: vulnerable, anxious but hopeful, …
And when you honour others, particularly mum & dad (Dad’s group emails of 7 May 2010 is a personal favourite), or Jo, or others…Honouring people is old fashioned and too often neglected.
But I particularly get a kick out of seeing & hearing the conversations that your posts elicit. Sometimes the shrieks of “hallelujah” can be heard from around the globe as one or more of your readers goes, “wow, I’m not the only one who thinks like this,” or whatever.. I love it when I hear that. Sarah, you help bring so many that little bit closer to each other…hmmm
Be fun to participate in a group chat with some of your forever growing clan of followers..
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Sarah, I totally get the authenticity thing. I write too. I’ve found Julia Cameron’s ‘The Right to Write’ one of best books ever, to help me get out of my head and into my heart. Try Amazon – copies are few and far between these days, but it’s a total gem. Go well x
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Hey Sarah. I’m interested in your perspective on how to stay true to yourself when we are bombarded with materialism, consumerism and a society that seems to be growing more shallow and superficial. How to find balance and authenticity amid the craziness?
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Hi Sarah,
I’d love to help and am very interested in joining in a group chat about life and philosophy. Your blog has been a great source of reassurance, information and inspiration to me over the last 12 months and happy to have the opportunity to give back if I can help at all.
Key topics and blogs that really connected with me, and resonated goodness have been:
1. The “Healing Autoimmune Disease” series
These blogs are what landed me to find your blog…after being diagnosed with Hashimoto’s I was frantically googling to find more information and stumbled upon your blog which provided great relief for all the anxiety I was processing. Thanks for sharing your experience towards healing – with regards to nutrition, mindset and life changes…it continues to help me a lot!
2. Relationship type blogs, especially “The importance of being smart, single and vulnerable”, “strong women: do you need a knight or a king?” and “I like the Balinese Shaman”. I love these blogs, relationships (and the challenges within them) fascinate and perplex me. I found it interesting that you wrote that the Balinese Shaman told you that you shouldn’t do relationships.
3. The life steering / realigning blogs like “Love what you Love” and “top 5 regrets of the dying , what will yours be?” These blogs are great! They give me reassurance that there are others out there looking for greater meaning to life.
I yearn for many things – a priority for me at the moment is to seek to better understand health and the underlying causes of illness (I do believe there is a strong link between body and mind).
I am very keen to be involved – I live in Brisbane but would travel to Sydney for a group chat if that would help. Thanks again.
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March 27th, 2011 at 8:37 pm
I too believe there is a strong link between body and mind. It’s a hard thing to grasp though, when we are hearing all claims from all corners. Macrobiotics says meat is killing us, Paleo says grains are? Louise L. Hay has written on the emotions and health topic (though I don’t necessarily agree with everything she says).
My approach at the moment is ‘everything is connected’, as I don’t see how toxic foods and environments could be doing us good.
This is why one of my favourite Sarah posts is “Why my slouch is making me sad’. And I think the subject will gain alot more attention in the future, happily.
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Sarah, I only found your blog a month or two ago – so I’m still working my way back through the archives and obviously haven’t read as many posts as others. however, I fell in love with your words over the first two posts I read.
What I really love about you is the fact that you are on a journey – and in particular the fact that you don’t apologise for it. You might not have all the answers yet, but you’re enjoying the process of making huge lifestyle changes. You state it the way it is without sugar coating the facts (probably because you don’t have an agenda – you’re not trying to sell us anything – it’s just plain honesty). And I really appreciate that – it encourages me when I’m having a bad day, and it just downright makes you feel real!
As someone who has been going through the same process over the last few months, I’m so encouraged to know that someone else is experiencing similar things to me. My friends seem to think that I’m turning into some kind of alternative health freak – yet it’s not like that at all. It’s about finally realising that what you’ve always been taught was healthy for you is slowly destroying you- and that becomes the catalyst for a domino effect of questioning every other area of your life. I don’t know about you, but I started with removing poison from my diet, which was easy – but that has led me to looking at the way that I socialise and how we choose to celebrate events in our lives. Which in turn has made me question whether I am too much of a perfectionist – do I really need to put on amazing spreads of gourmet food and spend two days baking in preparation – or is it really about getting back to basics and looking at the relationships being more important? It’s also led to pondering on how a convenience driven food industry has taught me to get used to expecting things instantly and have realised that I somewhere along the line I have lost the art of being patient and waiting for good things to come my way. It’s almost killed me to have to wait for a few months for organic apples to come into season so that I can bake with them. So if a bit of food eats away at me, then how many of my other purchases are based on impatience rather than real need? Do I really need to have the perfect home, if half of the things in it are somehow toxic – and so it goes on….
I guess what I am getting at is that it’s impossible not to embark on a whole life journey from making what seems to be a small change. Just keep being honest and say what you’re really thinking underneath. We all do really appreciate it!
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March 23rd, 2011 at 11:39 pm
Perfectly said Amy, same here.
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Sarah, I really enjoy your blogs and your journey. Strikes me you are on a journey and you have very generously invited ‘us’ along for the ride. Like some others I’ve always wondered how you arrived at the point where you were editng Cosmo – it just doesn’t seem like something you would do – but perhaps that was why you were a good editor? also really enjoyed your blogs around your experience of thryroid disease – I suffer same and your approach to mind body health has certainly influenced me of late. I am six days sugar free and feel like I am on the methadone programme. Look forward to reading your book.
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Hi Sarah
Have just spent 20 minutes scanning your previous blogs looking for a piece you wrote about Christmas at your parent’s house.
Couldn’t find it but anyway ..
I think it is a wonderful piece of writing.
Astute, economical,highly comic … and warm.
If I was a publisher I would be pushing you in that direction irrespective of your specialty subjects or already garnered audience.
Just to give perspective ..
I appreciate Stephen Fry much more as a raconteur than a writer.
I embarked on one of his books a few years ago
and found it to be both preppy and premature.
I much prefer him as a host of QI or travel guide.
Your work appeals to a large audience but there is no denying your intellect ..
Great that you get to work in the Mainstream Australian Media..
It would Not have happened 20 years ago.
Except maybe as ‘ Chick hostess ‘ .. a role I believe you are familiar with.
I also find your capacity to share a little bewildering.
It’s marvellous .. but a little scary ..
As a very private person .. for me even writing this letter is like pulling teeth without
anestheitic ..
I marvel at your audacity ..
Really looking forward to reading your future work ..
mw
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Hi,
I read this post earlier today and wanted to reply with the right ideas so left it for the day before responding.
I love the topics you choose, you seem to think of quite relevant, topical issues that I didn’t even know I cared about until I read the title.
I read a few of the other comments as I was interested in what other people liked the most from this blog. One person said something about wanting to find a partner. I am in a similar situation (mid 30′s and single, haven’t had any long term partners) but what I like about your blog is that you don’t go on about being single, being in love, relationships etc but at the same time you’re not purposely trying to avoid it. It seems to be all over other blogs so it’s really nice to read a blog that is written by a female that aims to help people find happiness but doesn’t focus on trying to find a guy etc.
It has the right balance of things in my opinion.
My favourite parts are about exercise, anti-anxiety, work/passion, diet, I loved the sugar free posts and the non drinking feb posts. I think the pictures you chose for each item are really perfect.
I also love how many posts you do per week. It seems like there are not too many (e.g. if you’ve been away for a few days, you don’t panic that you’re behind on things) but at the same time there is something new every few days.
Probably quite unrelated to what you asked us to respond on but just wanted to mention this.
Good luck with the book. The place you’re writing it in looks ideallic, I’m very jealous about how effortlessly you seem to uproot. I’m sure we can all do it but create these ridiculous ties and barriers.
Can’t wait to read your book.
Claire
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Does everyone who contributes to this blog get part of the book royalties? LOL.
Given it’s YOUR STORY, YOUR MEMORIES, YOUR JOURNEY and ultimately YOUR BOOK, why do you need input from your readers (was this also the purpose why you asked for memories of the 70s)? Is this feedback to fill up a chapter in the book or more for your self esteem and reassurance that people ‘get you”?
You are a talented and entertaining writer and from the feedback already provided, an inspiration and role model to many. I have no doubt your book will be a best seller. The ability to strike a chord with so many people is a real skill Sarah. Just trust yourself, like your readers do.
What I particularly enjoy reading about is how you grew up in a very basic environment where money was tight. Yet despite your success and obviously healthier bank account, you still live a very grounded life and yearn for simplicity. Mention of family is also a recurring theme and it’s really good to see a bunch of people who can laugh at and rib each other, but still have that closeness that we see in the photos from your childhood (yes, I’m jealous of that bond!)
From the picture you have painted of yourself, you are a complexed, highly strung, anxious and emotional individual who is learning/wanting to unravel all of your vunerabilities and human frailties. For most of us, we hide behind masks and spend our lives living up to the expectations of others, losing touch with our real self. What you are doing in sharing your personal experiences with absolute strangers, takes A LOT of courage and sometimes, a thick skin!
Anwyay, enough of the rant. Actually, I do have a question for you – what’s the story about being a topless au pair?? I did read your story in ‘Your mother would be proud’ and have been curious for 2 yrs!
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March 23rd, 2011 at 9:27 pm
Wow. Thank you. Thank you.
Topless au pair? I got a job in Corsica looking after some kids for a Parisian psychologist and her husband graphic designer. The French don’t like to wear tops on holidays. For the first month I wore a top. But after a while I stood out; even the 8 year old boy asked me why I wore a bikini top.. I wasn’t ASKED to be topless. It wasn’t the job description….
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March 23rd, 2011 at 10:03 pm
HAHA – that’s the best. As they say, when in Rome….(or Corcia).
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* Are you lonely? What’s missing from your life? “In my life, I yearn for….”
In my life I yearn for a complete sense of self, I’m not sure it’s something I can find or something I just have to wait for.
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The common thread throughout your blog that keeps me coming back is the notion of self improvement and the belief that as individuals you can take practical steps to improve, control, direct your life? I am always striving to be a better person and never want to become complacent and lack motivation, that is why I see your blog as a source of constant inspiration. I think that’s it, yes.
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Hi Sarah,
I have been reading your columns and posts nearly for 2 years now. I made a lifestyle change to more organic and natural way of living and stumbled across your site one day. It was inspiring to read about your journey and little things like day-to-day activities.
I would be interested to join in a group discussion.
My Best
Tarj
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Sarah Sarah Sarah,
After years of going to the newsagent on Sunday with my dad, I would constantly sneak the magazine out of the paper and read your column. This then led me here, where I have been for quite some time. Although I don’t leave that many posts, I love your work and everything you write. I have dreamed about having a career like yours, and life style may I add. I am a ‘health freak’ (so I have been called), so its nice to have someone talking about new foods and exercise and all that jazz.
So I have to thank you for continually writing. As long as you write, I will continue to pop in and see whats going on in the life of you.
One question- where did you start in this industry. I have my degree but now I need a job. Would love some ideas and help as to how it all begun for you!
xxx
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A lot of good points being made here! I relate to your blog because you remind me a bit of me (although I’m not famous, etc. etc.!) – lots of things going on and external achievements/successess, but still a few neuroticisms (I hope you don’t mind me saying this). I also am going through an illness that has forced me to renegotiate my life. I think that many people will relate to the honesty pertaining to these elements. Your style is different to that of Elizabeth Gilbert, but people relate to her (mostly positively) I believe for similar reasons.
Personally I enjoy the posts about your family. This is not because I’m intrusive or overly-curious (I don’t even live in Australia and and so I’ve never seen you on tv or in any kind of a public role, and probably never will), but simply because at the root how we relate to our family (and friends, as the case might be), and they to us, speaks to the very basic elements of our character (and sometimes the elements that we have forgotten, or never managed to identify in the first place). It’s neat when you witness a writer puzzling something out about their character that their mum spotted all along, or presenting the element unwittingly through personal anecdote.
I also enjoy the posts in which you seem to express some kind of serious yearning, which you do often. As to your question about loneliness, initially I thought I didn’t have a response for that at this stage in my life, but in fact I would say I’m often lonely for pure beauty in the world. It’s a childish yearning but one that many of us share. I get so weary of the struggle for a better world, in the face of so many grand-scale tragedies and so much indifference. I wish I were doing more. I wish I felt more connection. I wish I saw mountains moved to help others more often. I wish I could do more for others. Everything seems to be fractured, rather than unified as my gut tells me ought to be the case. It’s kind of the yearning of a little girl for “world peace,” but it speaks to the loneliness that many of us share, ultimately, which stems from a yearning for the world in which we live to make sense, to fit together. In other generations I think people more commonly found this through unquestioned obligation to tightly-knit communities and the local church. Now we perhaps ask more questions and struggle more obviously because we’re not automatically handed specific roles from which we cannot easily extract ourselves (at least in anglo, western cultures). Nearly unlimited options can be a terrifying burden, as shallow as that sounds.
The best of luck with your book. I’m sure it will be terrific!
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Dear Sarah, as many people have said, I love your honesty and gentleness and yes I feel like you are a friend. I love your posts on simplicity and truth in food, exercise, clothes, health. I think it resonates with so many people who just can’t handle the consumer driven society we are in. I love the truth you are seeking in everyday interactions, i like hearing about the mundane things in your life and that you are real and vunerable and imperfect. Love your fitness stuff and bike stuff, live to hear more about your bush runs. I’d love to hear more about your growing up in a simple way and how you became a searcher. What I am wanting in life is truth and simplicity and beauty, life is so hard and lonely, I want community and gentleness from people in my life now. Superficiality, money and possesions means nothing. We have to be kind to each other and this space is beautiful for that. Thankyou. Everday I can’t wait to read what adventure you are on and love joining you for it.
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March 24th, 2011 at 12:38 pm
i like this idea of being a “searcher.” Some people just seem to have it in them more than others. Sarah, from what age do you remember having this quality?
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The view is so inspiring… perfect for writing.
My favorite posts here are the ones I bookmarked for re-reading:
“I’m a soul nerd. It hurts sometimes. Until I realised…”
“finding your daily launch pad”
“permission to quit the “low-rent” experiences”
“Question: “you’re an anxious person, how do you enjoy life!?””
“sunday life: in which i check in with my inside people…and Eugene Tan”
“Sunday Life: the gorgeous value of strangers”
“the elegance of a morning routine”
I hope this helped!
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A number of your blogs have resonated with me, my notably those where you embrace your anxiety and sadness, and where you seek meaning and purpose in life through the pursuit of truth rather than happiness. (Indeed many of the ideas I cherish seem to be contained within your world-view. You cite Robert Johnson’s “We” in your reading list; I wonder if you also love the writings of Joseph Campbell, Thomas Moore and Kate Millet, and sometimes find myself wanting to discuss these with you!)
I also also wonder about the things which led you to this place in your life, given we seem to have arrived at a similar point from rather different directions. When I consider your previous position as the editor of a rather – how should I say it? – ‘glossy’ magazine, and when I look at photos and shots on television, I must say, I am fascinated what sort of a girl you were in your 20s and what changes might have taken place!
Lastly, I am a similar vocational predicament to yourself, writing a psychology thesis (which might as well be a book) on personal narrative and post-traumatic growth and not only is the way you describe the authorial process informative, I also find the things you write about reinforce many of the themes I am encountering. So you can count me in regarding any future discussions.
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I love just about everything about your blog, Sarah. The underlying theme I appreciate the most is simplicity. I also like posts about whimsy, fitness, Sunday Life, and I’m totally going along with you on this sugar-free thing! I think one of the first posts I read was about “finding your bee people” and it had me hooked.
I talk about the topics on your blog a lot with my mom. A lot of the wisdom that you curate and share on this blog resonates with her,too, although she isn’t really internet savvy enough to come to the blog herself. I find that friends my age (early 20s) are often embarrassed to discuss some of these topics, or just aren’t interested in concepts like simplifying life. It’s very encouraging and comforting to me to know that there are other people like myself “out there.”
Something I really want to know: Every once in a while I get in this weird funk where I get so TIRED of digging deep, and simplifying, and bettering, and keeping a balanced lifestyle to keep my own autoimmune issues under control – and I just want to say screw it all! and live life in a very surface-y, unmindful way and eat lots of sugar and drink a lot and sit around on my butt and stop meditating, and basically live the way it seems like dominant culture encourages us to live. Do you EVER feel like that? If so, have you found out what in particular triggers you to feel that way and how to combat it?
THanks a BUNCH! Your blog really does make my life better and sweeter!
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I love your revelations about being gentle and accepting of yourself and whatever your life is – e.g
Your post “New Year idea: a pace for everything” hit me right where I live. Especially the quote “Instead of resisting, we can accept that there is a reason for us to be where we are and allow ourselves to observe what the situation offers.”
Also, your recent post “Love what you love” was soothing. I especially enjoyed the comments on that one. You really coaxed some beautiful disclosures from people.
I don’t love the sugar-free/nutritian centric posts as much. Then again, over coffee with friends yesterday I did quote what you said about people not being meant to work out for hours every day (and apologies because I’m paraphrasing here) and that we really need less food if we want to lose weight.
I love your blog because you are a highly insightful, kind-hearted searcher who doesn’t have all the answers but when you get some you apply them to your life and share … and make no bones that if you find some more answers down the track, you might change your approach again.
Hope it helps. xox
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I particularly love your posts on food, sugar, and stomach cures.
I’m missing a place that I want to stay for an extended period of time, figuring out what kind of job I truly want and a boyfriend (not a cool thing to say I KNOW!).
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Sarah, you are already guaranteed 51 sales before the book is even finished!
I like the concept of ‘flying naked’. Exposing ourselves (pun not intended) takes a lot of courage, especially knowing with this comes risks and no guarantee of where we land. But by doing so, we set ourselves new challenges and boundries and unsettle old routines and familiarity. Some of us like to fly with the safety of a parachute and others don’t even book a ticket.
On a separate note, you have almost transformed yourself into a gloss magazine! You have a section on health and well-being, food, lifestyle, travel, fashion, beauty products, movie & book reviews, relationship advice, readers comments and give aways. All that’s missing are the horoscopes.
All the feedback you have received must be good for the ego and soul. You have many devoted followers and virtual friends and we have a different reason for reading your blog.
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Dear Sarah,
(Firstly, my apologies. I posted on this thread previously, but feel this entry better addresses your questions and in lieu of being able to delete that contribution I have just reposted.)
[b]* What topic or theme (e.g. whimsy or “inside people”) or post or reader comment explored on this blog really connected for you? [/b]
I’m most impressed by the way you freely admit to your (supposed) flaws and the issues you are battling with. It reminds me we are all struggling, and how, when we recognize this in others – and better still, when we try to help them – we can discover a profound beauty in this struggle. This was best encapsulated in your Sunday Life article “This Week I Get Over Myself”, my favourite blog of yours. As John Keats says in my favourite quote: “How necessary a world of pain and sorrow is to school an intelligence and make it a soul” – an idea you really seemed to have locked into.
[b]* Or perhaps there’s a question you’d like to ask me…[/b]
You are clearly an attractive woman, highly intelligent, and caring. Hard to fault really, which makes me wonder why you are single or have ever been single for long. Of course many good looking women are also a little narcissistic, posing numerous obstacles for men, and you did mention how Hashimotto’s disease taught you to be more humble. Has vanity (or any form of egoism, since you also mentioned being attracted to prestige) ever been a barrier for you?
[b]* In my life, I yearn for…[/b]
A loving relationship with a woman much like yourself! (You have been very candid, so you deserve the same in kind.)
Andrew.
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I would love to join in on a group chat!
My 2 absolute favourite posts have been “inside people” & “whatever gets you through the night s’alright”!
What I yern for most…my dad. He was diagnosed with younger onset dementia at age 53 when I was 18. 7 years on, he is no longer recognizable as my father. I’m constantly mourning the loss of my dad even though he is psychically still there. I can still see my bestfriend but I don’t know where he’s gone. Whenever you write a post that mentions your dad i burst into tears! I also yern for life direction & purpose. The illness made me question what I REALLY want to be doing with my life as I could inherit the illness and I don’t want to waste time. This has thrown a spanner into the works because I thought I knew what I wanted to do in life, but now I’m in my final year of my degree and completely unsure of what I want, with all this expectation that my next move is a career.
Sarah, I think you are a fabulous role model for young women! You are so intelligent, independent, beuatiful, fit & healthy, spiritual, grounded & you have a fabulous career! As a young women in her 20′s I find you truly inspirational and I have you pinned up on my wall! I hope one day I can be as fabulous as you xx
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[...] have linked across to Sarah Wilson’s blog on a few occasions now, but yesterdays’ post really rang bells for me. Particularly her use of the JD Salinger [...]
Sarah I check your blog everyday. I find it comforting as you are able to articulate things that I cannot. I love reading your thoughts, ideas, observations and then I love reading peoples replies. Your blogs connect people and make them feel Less alone as well as less shame for feeling things that aren’t always talked about. I love your blogs on simplifying as well as when you talk about your anxieties. The making friends with anxiety really resonated with me and I often find myself saying now “hello anxiety.. I haven’t heard from you in a while”. I loved the anxiety girl picture as well as info on how you are healing your AI. You have this amazing talent of writing abut things at the exact time
That I need to read about it. It is seriously bizarre! I have felt very alone in my health problems at times and you have provided huge comfort.
I also loved the post on “whatever gets you through” it made me happy to read about sometimes the best thing for us is the worst thing..but it works when used appropriately!
I love your blog and I am so excited to read your book.
You are incredibly brave and honest and have inspired me to be more like this also.
Thanks sarah! Good luck with your writing. I know it’s going to be amazing. Not perfect but that’s what will make it perfect to all those who read it.
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Hi Sarah
I read here every day but rarely post. I keep coming back because…. I’m not sure. There’s something in me that wants to come to the forefront, but I don’t know what or where it is. Every time I read a post here (especially the ones about finding space, and simplifying), I feel it flicker. Often just looking at the pictures you use do it for me. (I get the same feeling watching those Big M ads….) I always think “when I get time, I’ll sit down and work out what that is, what it is that I want”. So… what do I yearn for? I’m not sure yet. Sometimes I think its the mainstream ‘ideal life’ of glamour, high power and fancy restaurants. But then other times its simplicity, free time, and a permanent escape from the city. In the end I do neither, and slouch through my days.
I also love your posts on routine. That is one thing that I do know that I’d love. A routine that works for me. I am taking small steps to achieve that, starting with looking for a job that will allow one.
One sentence that has always stayed with me though, and I’m not sure which post it was from, was when you were talking about riding your bike through the suburbs in the evening, smelling the scent of jasmine (or whatever flower it was).
Again, I’m not sure why, but that really stuck with me.
Still working it all out though. Thanks for helping.
Jac
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Hi Sarah,
I love that you write regularly about how to simplify and improve your life by cutting out x / stop doing x / start doing x etc etc, but without the judgemental, virtuous tone that so many lifestyle writers seem to adopt. You recognise the issue and write about the suggested solution, whilst acknowledging your own struggle with implementing that solution. I think its important for your readers (in particular me!) to be able to relate to your “human-ness”, otherwise you become just another ‘authority’ telling us what to do.
Sarah, I think you beautifully express to us your own struggle with trying to achieve ideal health, physically and mentally. Thank you.
My other fave feature of your style is that you are all about living in the moment. No one can live “the perfect life” and I think your blog adequately acknowleges that. You focus on what we can do in the NOW to make the NOW more pleasant. After all, life is but a series of NOWs all mushed together.
Thank you Sarah.
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Hi Sarah, your blog is one of my three favourites that I look forward to everyday to see if you’ve posted. (also love soulemama and zen habits). I really feel inspired by your curiousity toward life, wellness, mindfullness, finding peace of mind etc. Just yesterday I was running (inspired to start by you, thank you and couch to 5k!), (also have quit sugar!!) and thought, I can’t stop thinking/stressing, should I be doing mindful running, or just let my anxious mind sort through stuff. I then wondered, what does Sarah do with her head when she is running? I’ve discovered quinoa and kale and when I can’t work out what to do with a small or big decision, think more about just being authentic. Love your honesty and thank you for being just you. Mel
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Hopefully I’m not too late to contribute.
For me, what’s missing in my life is balance. I read so much on nutrition, wellness, meditation and spirtuality yet I can’t seem to practice what I know I should. For example, I’m wheat and lactose intolerant but just can’t seem to give either up. I go on these binges where I eat pasta, bread and heaps of sugar and then feel so sick and guilty. My stomach is so bloated and I end up just staying home. So why do I keep doing this to myself? I just wish I could put into practice all the things I know about food, a lot of which I’ve learnt here on this site. When I do eat properly, I feel amazing. I’m like a new person! Any advice from wise readers on how to overcome this dilemma would be greatly appreciated…
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March 24th, 2011 at 3:57 pm
Hey Georgie, you are obviously in need of support so happy to offer some advice.
Firstly, I would say that by reading too much you’re suffering from information overload. Rather than trying to combine nutrition, wellness, mediation & spirituality into one package, how about you break it up. Ask yourself, what’s the most important think you want to change in your life. No doubt it’s nutrition, so for now just focus on this. Don’t look at nutrition as just ‘food’. Nutrition is what we use to fuel our bodies to keep us going and stay healthy.
When you find yourself in a happy place with nutrition, decide what’s next on the list to change and so on. Overtime, you will find they all spill over into each other and, thereby, creating your life balance.
I would say the only rule to learning is to keep it fun yet challenging. If something starts to feel like a chore or just doesn’t gel, perhaps you’re in the wrong place or it’s not for you. We don’t all have to be perfectly balanced. For example, I am careful about what I eat but have learnt that I’m not naturally interested in nutrition. Yet meditation is very important to me.
With regard to your eating habits, there are a few thoughts here. Perhaps binging on bread and pasta is your bodies way of telling you it needs more carbs. Or it could be more of a psychological issue when you continue eating foods which know make you sick and suffer guilt. We should never feel guilty for eating food. You’ve experienced what it’s like to feel great after eating the right foods, so perhaps you need to discuss with a professional what is causing this block.
Hope this has been a little helpful. And as Sarah would say ‘be gentle with yourself’.
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March 25th, 2011 at 12:10 pm
Oh Georgie, I hears ya. It’s so bizarre when we keep doing the things that aren’t necessarily helping us. I had the WORST eating habits for so many years, but a diagnosis of coeliac disease forced me to change my ways (mostly). My biggest issue now is the glass or two of wine at night – I feel soooo much better when I don’t drink at all, but it’s still proving a tough one to crack. Sugar and (gluten-free) corn chips are constant temptations too.
One thing I have found helpful is just to not have any of these things sitting in the cupboard at home at all – the act of having to go out and get them will generally make me reconsider, either through conscious choice or sheer laziness. Whatever works. I’ve also found it helpful to allow myself to have some of these things on the weekend and then go cold turkey during the week, so I don’t feel like I’m depriving myself too much, and I know I can indulge once I get to Friday night… not binge, just dip the toe back in a bit (and often, remember how crappy it feels, and feel resolved to clean up my act even more).
I’ve also found that my body started to crave healthy food more and more over time. First noticed this with hangovers – I didn’t want the greasy breakfast but something that was going to put good stuff in my system. These days I’m almost never hungover but the craving for healthy food is pretty much a daily thing.
So it has taken time for me, but change has happened gradually, even against all the odds! Hope this gives you some courage.
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Hi Sarah,
I’ve developed a keen interest in your posts over the last few months, and like so many of your followers, feel I can identify strongly with nearly every one.
I’ve been able to empathise with a lot of your experiences, particularly the journey through your health and especially the ‘recovery’ from eating disorder issues.
My biggest journey has been learning how to look after myself, to put my needs first, let go of guilt. Hence the aspects of your posts that I most look forward to relate to your mission to care for yourself, and how you balance this with challenging yourself simultaneously, whether through sugar detox or barefoot running. You also challenge the ‘need’ to do, to achieve all the time, by identifying times you are anxious or unwell and giving yourself permission to rest and be gentle with yourself. This is a triumph and i applaud you for that. I love that you can be vulnerable with yourself and be so open with
your readers, that is a true gift, as I’m sure your book will be also.
You inspire me to continue this journey. Thankyou so much.
Take good care and enjoy the process x
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Hi Sarah,
I read your Sunday Life column every weekend & have only recently signed up for your blog. The search for ‘purpose’ or ‘meaning’ is a journey that is resonating with many of us, particularly the peeling back of the material layers and the realisation that acquiring stuff doesn’t make you happy.
I enjoy the simple challenges that you set for yourself each week and am finding that I have been doing similar things – giving up sugar, meditating, trying alternativve therapies, simplifying, decluttering, speaking to new and interesting people.
Topics of interest for me right now:
- Tackling procrastination on the important priorities!
- Different spiritual journey paths / options
I would love to join you for a group/ philosophical chat.
Fleur
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Oh! I just remembered my absolute favourite blog – I have it printed at home. It was the one about ‘wobbly energy’ and flakiness. After reading it, I actually spoke to my boss and had my working hours adjusted after feeling like my hours were forcing me to cancel too often, and feel too horrible about myself. It’s just now starting to sneak back up again (6 months on), hence the new search for balance/routine.
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Sarah, I want to know…..why is there not one childhood photo of you smiling? In the 5 of so you have posted, you look bored and glum, whilst all the other kids around you are having a great time. Even in the most recent photo of you on the beach, there isn’t a hint of enjoyment, which I think is sad for a kid. Is it just coincidental or did you intentionally chose these ones to perhaps point out that, even as a child, you were different and wondered what the hell you are doing here and does life get any better than getting wrapped up in a fur coat in a shopping mall?
The photo I did find most interesting, which could be applied to this current blog, is the one in your Marie Claire article last year. There you are, stacking sticks or lighting a fire(?), with a captive audience but who all keep their distance. Isn’t that what your also doing now? Reading the feedback so far, you almost have a cult like following. You obviously have very exceptional leadership skills and sometimes I wonder if you don’t use this to your advantage. I notice this most when you write a blog on say, quitting sugar. Yep, that’s your choice, but by writing about it also encourage your loyal fans (who seem to hang on every word you say), to do the same. What I did find disturbing was reading those comments from women suffering eating disorders looking for your help. I thought it was very irresponsible to tell one poor girl to just ‘go meditate’. How about you put a disclaimer on your website which clearly states you cannot answer all questions and if you have eating disorders or suffer depression to contact Beyond Blue or a psychologist.
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March 24th, 2011 at 8:59 pm
I felt really uncomfortable when i saw her telling an eating disorder girl to go meditate. definately should have had a disclaimer for that or a recommendation to talk to someone.
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March 24th, 2011 at 9:14 pm
Sarah never ever claims to be the authority on all things. A suggestion of meditation is just a contribution, not a solution to the issue. As far as her leadership, all leaders have a following ofcourse, but it is an individuals choice what they take and leave- we can never hand over responsibility to another or suggest that they know better than us, the inference here is that Sarah’s readers aren’t capable of discering facts and making their own choices. I feel that Sarah’s giving up sugar is inspirational, as it is also inspirational that she has healed her own auto immune disease. It seems clear to me that she shares with the intention of helping those who wish to use aspects of her journey to benefit themselves. She is not marketing herself as a ‘know it all’ or specialist dr.
I am surprised you have landed yourself on a page where Sarah is asking for help Rachael when your agenda seems to be more about knocking her work.
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March 29th, 2011 at 12:11 pm
It’s called feedback. Sorry if i haven’t joined the syncophantic posse
March 29th, 2011 at 12:56 pm
Sycophantic? Cult following? “Does life get any better than getting wrapped up in a fur coat in a shopping mall?”
Jeez… Im all for dialogue that presents both sides and I do not always agree with what Sarah writes, but sweeping generalizations and insults instantly lose you respect with most people. You should provide some kind of facts (when on this site has there EVER been ANY reference to fur coats???) and judging a journalists’ work by how much their fans like them is completely ridiculous. It’s only called constructive criticism when it’s actually constructive – otherwise you are just being a troll.
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ummmmm, Sarah R, I really hope this is a typo: “Sarah’s readers aren’t capable of discering facts and making their own choices”. I’m one of these readers and more than capable of making my own choices.
I’m not getting into either argument here, but I do think that many people (myself included), often look for advice from people we think have all the answers (Sarah being just one of many). And yes, perhaps some are more naive and vunerable than others, but there’s nothing wrong with that. As a manager, I have a responsibility for my staff. I’m always conscious of what I write before I send out communications. Some question my decisions and I’m always happy to debate. Others take my word as gospel. It’s a matter of audience awareness.
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Sara- I meant that Rachael is suggesting that readers aren’t capable of discerning facts and making their own choices. I think that most readers are capable of making their own decisions. Agreed, some people are going to look to Sarah as if she has all the answers, as someone who has looked to others for the ‘right’ answers I now understand I can’t blame them if I take their advice & things don’t go well. I think Sarah is well aware of her responsibility to readers, but at the end of the day, just as our parents taught us we are not simply meant to ‘believe everything we read’.
I see what you mean regarding your job- but you also know your audience (staff) better than Sarah ever could- she is potentially reaching anyone with an internet connection- tough gig if we’re going to put ‘getting it right always’ onto her shoulders, she is a journalist, not claiming to be a healer.
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March 24th, 2011 at 10:41 pm
Thanks Sarah R for clarification. It’s late, I’m tired so perhaps my concentration level level is running at zero capacity! I actually have staff both in Australian and throughout Asia Pacific, most of whom I have never met, so can’t claim to know everyone personally (which is why I am so careful with my writing, esp allowing for cultrual differences). But I get where you’re coming from and this whole discussion defeats the purpose of Sarah’s original question.
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March 25th, 2011 at 1:13 pm
Sarah R…Sarah W asked for feedback and that’s exactly what I’m doing. Not everything has to be sugar coated to fit in with the theme of this blog. Am I not allowed to question and challenge? And from your response, I would say you’re one of these cult followers I’m taking about. Why do you have to defend the leader when she clearly has a voice and can speak for herself, if she wants to.
And furthermore, I did not say that every single reader can’t decide things for themselves. I said that there are some readers out there who are more impressionable, naive and vunerable than others. In my opinion (only), a sensible thing to do would be adding a disclaimer that the role of the blog is not a counselling service and directing these people, who are clearly looking to Sarah for help, to professionals who can.
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[...] post this by way of follow-up from my previous post. It’s from Australian author Louisa [...]
Hi Sarah
I am a writer and an Author and I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about!!!
I also do Visioning Sessions with writers, directors, producers, cinematographers, business leaders, mums, new business ventures etc to help them authentically, truthfully and deeply connect to their hearts and inner self and express themselves in the world and through their work from ‘that’ place.
I’d love to give you a Visioning Session as a gift! I think you do great work and I’ve loved reading about your health journey. I’ve been wanting to connect with you for a while based on my work and yours and I think you would get a LOT from this visioning session.
You can call me on 0414 495 804 or email alison@thelifekitchen.com to let me know if you’d love a session and find out more. Alison Nancye
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Hi Sarah,
As I walk and breathe through the journey of life which in some ways is similar but also so very different to yours, I sometimes walk next to you, sometimes I get to skip and catch up and other times I’m ahead of you on the path, feeling appreciative and rather delighted with myself. Fortunately for me I live right near where you are staying and this of course has worked to allow me the space in my life to tend to my path, planting seeds and pulling out weeds.
After reading your blog and column for about a year on and off (I feel it’s good not to have too much attachment to others thoughts and ideals so I can form and feel my own) and reading most of the comments to this post thus far, I managed to distill my comment down to one insight (a minor accomplishment in itself, altho I thought I wouldn’t post must else either!). It’s something that I believe is the essence of simplifying ones life, of expressing ones true self, of being authentic, of ‘going easy on myself’.
That is, don’t try too hard. Your book is already writing yourself*, perhaps it is right under your nose and the endless possibilities ‘out there’ (in that view?) are only a distraction? *I meant to write ‘itself’ but thought it an interesting ‘typo’ so left it…
Anyhoo, I also love reading your work as sometimes I can see how far I have come, just as you have too.
Blessings.
PS I also like Paul’s suggestion for the layout and title of your book…
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Wow, where to begin. There’s something very special about this blog and it’s difficult to whittle that down to particular topics or themes. The health and medicine stuff, the introspective, philosophical stuff, the open-mindedness and humility. Always gives me something to think about and different things to try.
And yes, I do tend to then go and make up my own mind using my brain, my experience and information from other sources. Imagine most people do.
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Good Morning Sarah
Nearly every writer faces this issue from Norman Mailer to every writer Ive heard at the Brisbane Writer’s Festival Forums…
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Dear Sarah,
The post of yours that made me think the most was the post about ignoring email and not responding if it isn’t worth your time. I even wrote my own post about it! It resonated deeply with me.
With love,
T.
If you wish to read my take on your post, it’s here: http://www.tamsinhowse.com/blog/2010/12/push-back/
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Hi Sarah
the thing that I have found most compelling on your blog is the concept of mindfullness – of choosing consciously rather than without thinking. You have explored this through food, exercise, drinking, clothing and lifestyle choices, and while I haven’t necessarily agreed with your conclusions, these posts always make me think. Particularly around consuming for consumptions sake, rather than because something meaningfully enhances your life.
Everyone seems obsessed with consuming these days, but your general point about taking a step back to think about what is driving us to do these things is always a stark reminder to me.
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Hi Sarah,
I am sooooo late to the party! Check out this link by American public intellectual Cornel West taken from the documentary The Examined Life. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1Q6v1xsvcI
He discusses big philosophical concepts such as the Socratic Imperative which relates to the importance of living one’s life as courageously and truthfully as possible. But mostly he’s great to watch and listen because he just freestyles on all sorts of concepts and ideas cruising the streets of New York City in a taxi.
By way of commenting on my favourite post, I want to say I loved what you wrote about practising wabi sabi. I loved it so much I ordered a book that day from ukbookdepository called Wabi Sabi for artists, poets and philosophers. Coming across this on your blog was a real treat so I thank you for that.
-Best, Emilia
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Tell me Sarah… how did you end up in the Big Smoke? Was it for school or uni or work? Would you ever move back to the country? (I get the feeling that you like writing there!).
The writing process is tough. I’m writing my PhD thesis at the moment, and if I can get 5 writing hours (proper, no-checking-emails-or-facebook-or-other-websites hours) into a day, I’m doing well. And boy it makes you exhausted. Do you find that you’ve been sleeping more deeply?
Ciao
K
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Hi Sarah,
the sugar free posts got me hooked on your blog. I went sugar free for 12 months many years ago and still avoid it but it does creep in like the naughty little addictive substance that it is. Also after giving birth to my first bub 10 months ago, and since then all my annoying allergies returning, I’ve been recently looking back again at ME, how to get my energy and self esteem back in order. Lots of great ideas on your blog about health that appeal to me. Thanks for sharing. I think also the thing that appeals to me about your blog is that you seem so approachable, personable and honest, with a nice mix of photos plus videos plus links.
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Hi Sarah – would love to be a part of your upcoming chats. Please keep me posted on when they’re happening! xx
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Hi Sarah,
I’m always interested in what you have to say, and find all your blogs relevant – I’ve been searching many of the same issues in my own life for some years now, so would find any book you write of great interest … I love what you say, and your ‘voice’ and suggest that this is the ‘authentic you’!
Otherwise, I’ve found ‘The Artist’s Way’ by Julia Cameron an invaluable tool in finding my own authentic voice, particularly the stream-of-consiousness 3 morning pages – by the time I’v'e finished these, I find that I’ve ‘warmed up, taken off my disguises’ and I am writing from that ‘true’ place in myself’ – all in about 40 minutes! I cannot rave enough about this book and the tools contained in it – each time I turn back to the book, I am amazed by her insights and always feel inspired, cleared and creatively re-energised – so hope that if you haven’t discovered this book already, that it may contain some stuff that appeals to/helps/inspires you.
And, on a different note, I’ve just read an article re a book called ‘The Biology of Belief’ (Bruce H. Lipton) that also may appeal to you – it explains positive thinking from a cellular DNA perspective!
http://blog.californiapsychics.com/blog/2011/03/why-positive-thinking-can-heal.html
Best of luck Sarah – and thank you for all that you do!
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Hi Sarah,
I’d love to hear about your experiences living in New York, how the pace of that city compares to Sydney, why you moved to New York, what you expected the city to reveal inside yourself, what sort of surprises it garnished upon your life and why you ultimately returned to Oz.
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I’m interested in reading your writing. End of story. Whatever you come up with after the massive struggle that is personal writing, will work, just trust that. I’m interested in reading all of the special thoughts, inspirations, memories that rise to the surface after you have battled through hours or days of seemingly average ones. They are there, you just have to keep going. It’s your story Sarah, that is authentic enough. The critics will always criticise, but they aren’t the people you are writing your book for. You’re writing it for yourself. I’m interested in reading about Sarah Wilson and how you make sense of life. Or whatever it is that you have found to be important enough to embark upon the tough-as-hell mission that is writing a book.
When I’m writing and feel utterly lost, I refer to this by Henry Miller:
“Every day we slaughter our finest impulses. That is why we get a heart-ache when we read those lines written by the hand of a master and recognise them as our own, as the tender shoots which we stifled because we lacked the faith to believe in our own powers, our own criterion of truth and beauty. Every man, when he gets quiet, when he becomes desperately honest with himself, is capable of uttering profound truths. We all derive from the same source.There is no mystery about the origin of things. We are all part of creation, all kings, all poets, all musicians; we have only to open up, only to discover what is already there.”
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Hi Sarah
I loved the sugar forum as I used to be hooked by the sugar demon and fully understand what it is like to crave sugar and chocolate or to eat a big healthy lunch but want something more afterwards!! Having a passion for nutrition and health, I always love to hear great stories about how people have come back to good health. Really poor health does make you reflect on your lifestyle and what is going on in your life and is a strong motivator for change. For me it was the start of a life long journey of reading and study to learn as much as I could about nutrition and lifestyle.
I don’t think you have to worry about being authentic, if you write the same as you do in your blog, from the heart and your own experiences how much more authentic can you be? Your brush with ill health and your journey back to good health and with your amazing work and other experiences will be an inspiration to many just as your blog is.
On the topic of loneliness, I didn’t meet my life partner until I was 46! I had pretty much consoled myself to the fact that I would be single for the rest of my life and was just getting on with it, when I met a wonderful man and we have been together for 7 years now so you never know when or where you are going to meet someone. In the meantime, I don’t think you can ever be lonely if you have a Siamese cat (get two if you are away from home a lot during the day). They are the most beautiful, devoted and loving little creatures and despite having a wonderful partner, I can’t ever envisage my life without a Siamese in it. I have a pure bred Siamese red point called Ben and a part Siamese girl called Sam (short for Samantha) who came from the RSPCA. They follow me around when I get home, “talk” to me and sit on my lap, great little companions. They are not a substitute for a special human in any way but they add another dimension of love to your life.
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* What topic or theme (eg whimsy or “inside people”) or post or reader comment explored on this blog really connected for you? Got you in the guts? Had you talking to friends about it? “When I read the post about…. it was such a relief to know other people experienced the same thing.”
I got really hooked with all of the I-cut-sugar posts, I thought they were really eye-opening.
* Or perhaps there’s a question you’d like to ask me…that you’ve been meaning to…“Tell me Sarah, how did you….” I wonder… a lot of my present goals have to do with the position you are in life right now and everything you have gone through (editor, etc.). I imagine that was your dream once, too. So, my question is: What are your dreams now?
* Are you lonely? What’s missing from your life? “In my life, I yearn for….”
…purpose, mindful living, joy & fun, spiritual revelation, simplicity, having good times. Cultural knowledge, global communication & interaction, travelling.
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Dear Sarah,
Your posts on Auto-Immune gave me the tools I needed to chase my own diagnosis of Graves after a lifetime of illness. A host of crazy, mixed up, frustrating, embarrassing, absurd, seemingly patternless, inflammatory, ever evolving symptoms punctuated daily life. Doctor after doctor, and test after test failed to provide answers, leaving me more scared and confused than ever. I was coming to terms with this being my lot, thinking I would just have to accept my limitations and move on, until started reading your posts and related to the feelings of Inflammation.
You captured the feeling when you described your thyroid-y day Fuzziness ‘Which can only be described as a cross between a hangover and being pre-menstrual, with a dose of food poisoning thrown in. And a sprinkling of a rash (enough to make everything feel like its burning)’.
Finally I felt like I wasn’t alone and dead crazy, my fragile, temperamental, high maintenance body was completely out of kilter and I needed to get assertive and get diagnosed, then change gears, be kind to myself, and slowly ease into a new, gentle, nurturing routine. Your blog and spunky attitude to living a healthy life within the physical limitations Auto-Immune, and embracing the dorky, unconventional routines which allow us to reign this high-maintenance Thyroid diva into a slightly more chill minxy, have given me more freedom and happiness than I can capture here.
I would be absolutely delighted to join in the fun of group chats or philosophical meandering.
Lots of love and luck, you book is going to be so gorgeous!
Izennah
Renegade Princess
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1. I loved the post about backing the F*** off, and all those relating to been gentler, kinder, acting more in line with your body (eg quitting sugar)
2. sarah how do you balance everything in a busy life and make time for rest?
3. I yearn for simplicity, and rest.
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Sarah,
I hear you (or what i believe to be you) in my head these days, the most common thing you say is “Push-Back” and I do.
To the white noise, to the people who demand my time without giving so much, and to the doubt that i sometimes feel – which i push back with meditation.
Thank you Sarah, your blog has definetly made my life sweeter, whilst reminding me why i took sugar out of it.
Charlie
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The issue that really hit me quite hard was how many people were dealing with autoimmune health issues. I had not dealt with this really well in the past. Mainly, because I was not sure what it was I was struggling with until I started to read and listen to what others were saying here. That clicked with me emotionally, intellectually and I started to explore different ideas with my diet, exercise and sleep. I started to eat a lot more green food, chew my food more, structuring my exercise regime so I’m being kinder to myself. It is a work in progress that is reaping rewards.
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Sign me up for your discussion group please! You may have to find a hall or a ballroom though! Go girl!
xx
Padee from Cronulla
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[...] wrote 3000 words of my book yesterday. It was a bit about “what we yearn for” using some of the wonderful feedback readers of this blog shared with me a few weeks [...]