the elegance of paring back
This week I pare back
Last Saturday I ate almost half a jar of anchovies in one sitting. It was a purposeful binge; I was emptying the jar so that I could use it as a vase for the dinner party I was hosting. I had four guests that night because I only have five plates. And we ate cheese after from off a piece of firewood I found out back.
Such are the details of my life since I started living out of a tin shed and a suitcase.
You see, eleven weeks ago I set off to live in a small corrugated iron cottage in the bush – partly to try something new, partly by way of writing sabbatical. I reduced everything I needed – clothes, swim goggles, favourite teapot, stick blender, Le Crueset pot – to one case (plus my computer, bike and ergonomic swivel chair). I could’ve packed more – I had a whole car to fill. But once I started asking myself whether I really needed a fourth pair of undies or oregano flakes or house slippers my list of life essentials shrank. And shrank.
No one needs five pairs of undies. When you think about it.
Almost three months on, I have two observations to share.
First, I’ve not missed a thing. Sure, I’ve had to make a few compromises, like eating a small school of hairy fish, and my soup with a dessertspoon. But they’ve been small.
Second, the experiment has made me inordinately and surprisingly happy.
My experience is far from original. In fact, it seems I’m part of a phenomenon (The Boston Consulting Group calls it the “back-to-basics movement”) that has flourished in the wake of the economic crisis and has seen a stream of earnest minimalists strip their belongings back to the lowest number of items possible. Dave Bruno launched the 100 Thing Challenge in 2008 inspiring thousands to downsize. Kelly Sutton at Cult of Less reduced his life to two suitcases and two boxes by selling his possessions online. Ev Bogue, author of ebook The Art of Being Minimalist, lives with 57 possessions, neatly documented on his blog (I couldn’t help but notice he keeps five pairs of knickers).
Again, two observations.
First, no one can quite match the Dalai Lama who told me when we met he has 13 possessions.
Second, paring back seems to be a very male pursuit. When women seek meaning they head off to an ashram in India. When blokes seek meaning, they strip.
So why does this paring back make us happy? Since the GFC, countless studies have emerged to show that we are indeed happier with fewer possessions. Most research shows it’s due to “hedonic adaptation” – we’re programmed to stabilise happiness levels. So the happy jolt from buying or having stuff is always short-lived. Which is why a Journal of Consumer Psychology study found experiences (buying a canoe trip) make us far happier than things – they take longer to consume, thus prolonging happiness. Further, a Psychological Science study found that more possessions – “an embarrassment of riches” – reduces our ability to enjoy simple things, like sunsets and chocolate. The awareness of having stuff distracts us from basic pleasure.
Most of the minimalist “bloggage”, however, seems to be about escaping attachment, in the Zen sense. But I think many of these strippers are just as attached to the idea of light living as others are to their Lexus’. Me too, if I’m to be honest.
For me the compromising I mention above provides a better answer. It’s like when you go camping and the stew you make from a can, stirred with a stick and eaten from the pot tastes better than any restaurant meal, and the sleep you have with a pillow made from the jumper you’ve worn all day is your best in years. Compromising – making do – is fun and creative. But importantly it obliterates any pretence of perfection. You can forget about getting things right, enjoy your ingenuity, and get on with the pleasure.
Which is kind of what Henry David Thoreau was on about when in 1845 he too went off to live a Spartan existence in a shed in the bush. He wrote in his subsequent book Walden, he did so
“because I wished to live deliberately… to put to rout all that was not life.”
How many pairs of undies do you REALLY need? Do you love camping food? Or put another way, do you crave paring back??
I totally agree with your sentiment “The awareness of having stuff distracts us from basic pleasure.”
I am conducting a experiment at the mo, where I work part-time, pay rent, have a mortgage and still live happily. It’s shown me what I sincerely value in life and what I truly need and don’t need.
To all the mothers, happy mother’s day! I thank and love my mother for supporting my non-conforming ways. xx
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Annual Spring Cleans & Hard Rubbish Collections. Nothing better than a big possessions purge on a regular basis.
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May 8th, 2011 at 3:46 pm
Absolutely agree. It’s so therapeutic purging all that ‘stuff’ that you don’t actually need.
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There is nothing more liberating than heading out into the world with all your possessions carried on your back, no responsibilities and an unknown destination. I have done this many times in my life and it is only in the last 4 years that I finally bought a house with a plan to “settle down”. The clutter of “things” hasn’t made me any happier and I still fantasize about putting it all into storage and taking off to somewhere new. Paring back is definitely not just a male phenomena.
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When I first moved out of home I started out with 5 pairs and then came to the realisation when I ran out of clean nickers that I had to do my own washing so out of pure laziness I went and bought another 5 pack. Over several months of this lazy behaviour I accumulated about 30 pairs as a tactic to avoid doing the washing for as long possible. 4 years on I maintain this number of undies and I hardly have to do a load and I love it!
I do crave pairing back except I suffer from the “what if” or “just in case” syndrome so that when ever I have the chance to pair back (which is often) I end up taking half of my household with me just to be safe. I’m quite stressed and highly strung most of the time so purposely choosing to leave something behind and then ending up needing it pushes me over the edge! I do it to avoid any excess stress
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May 8th, 2011 at 4:06 pm
Sian, you need to go camping…or go live in a shed….to see how you never need your just in cases!
Or notice when you travel with a suitcase full of outfits you invariably wear the one outfit!
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i love paring back!
i think it’s fun to be creative with little and a way to put things in perspective.
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I was wwoofing in Tasmania over Summer and knee deep in mud, hay and all types of poo, this inexplicable feeling of happiness filled me. It was then I realised all you need is good food, good friends, the clothes on your back and work you enjoy. Since coming back to Sydney I feel the creep of those life ‘extras’ filling my life. Can’t wait to go travelling again with just a bag and a sense of humour!
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I love having less things! I have occasional bouts of wanting lots of pretty new things, but mostly I’m happy trying to live minimal. I went on a five month cycle tour, and that was great – I always knew exactly where all of my few possessions were. When I have too many things, I feel like too much of my brain is constantly occupied trying to keep tabs on what I have and where everything is – even if I’m not consciously thinking about it.
(I had a friend who after moving house, burnt the boxes he hadn’t opened after three months)
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This post couldn’t be more apt.
Left Melbourne 10 days ago to travel around Europe, living in a van with my cousin for four months. Currently in Normandy at a place called Mont St Michel – a little tidal island housing a monastery built in the 8th Century. The ‘campsite’ we’re staying at is little more than a small patch of gravel off a main road Bizarrely enough, this meagre camp site has wifi. Whatever the case, wifi or not, with a view like this, who cares: thttp://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Fp7FSoWENiA/Sm29iD-qS-I/AAAAAAAAG44/qsSAFn4D2NI/s400/Mont-st-Michel.jpg
There’s no greater joy than firing up the gas burner, popping on the kettle and making oneself a cuppa, enjoyed outside on a folding table/chairs.
10 days on and the amount of toiletries I use has gone from a full packed bag to – soap, facial wash, moisturiser, shampoo/conditioner (sporadically), toothpaste. That’s it.
Love it.
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May 8th, 2011 at 4:08 pm
What a gorgeous image! I love camping minimalism….the feeling you could THRIVE for months with a backpack of staples. Enjoy!
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How lovely!
We’ve been consuming less and less and YES, it is so surprising how little you need! We always are very happy, with lots and with less. But for now, only buying what we really needs and recycle as much as possible, feels really good.
Good luck with your writing and special journey.
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so apt Sarah, just emptied my storage space after a year and have ALL my possesions in one place. Not THAT many at all compared to some but from livin with just a few books, cds and clothes for over a year to having all these things with me, part of me is excited to have them back, my old photos and some sentimental things but it has also created a sense of added stress, where am giong to put it all? I agree, have not missed a thing since it was away, think some mindfull culling is in order!
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I loved the challenge and then feeling of satisfaction of making a meal with naught but a pocket knife and kettle, when I spent 6 weeks in a guest room in Thailand. you quickly learn to improvise!
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May 8th, 2011 at 4:08 pm
Kettle cooking – I’ve done it before. And sandwich grill cooking!
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Oh my, Sarah! Once again this post is tapping into the big juicy universal conscious aptness!
I have a well-earned reputation as a hoarder (in fact upon going to high tea today for Mother’s Day I realised I needed a clutch that matched my 40′s floral theme and found one that I’ve had almost a year with the tags still on! My family have joked for years that I will buy a button then make an outfit to suit it!).
But here’s the thing: while it’s nice to have the perfect pair of mint-green pumps to go with that outfit I wear once every two years, or to have 3 different sized hair curlers depending on what mood strikes, the reality is that aside from the superficiality and pretentiousness of it all (especially when I then derive my self worth from the validation of my physical appearance) I feel it’s starting to choke me. I turn 30 this week, and it’s both terrifying and exciting as I take stock of my life and what I’m creating in it.
Your post is, as always, bang on the money and inspiring. It’s a dull, rainy, grey day in Melbourne town, perfect for a cull!
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I love this post, and have been trying to pare back my possessions since early last year.
I’ve cut back on clothes, magazines, how much I eat, how much medication I take, and the toxins in the products I use.
The only thing with which I cannot abide is the four pairs of underwear. I have loads and loads of undies and I don’t intend to cut back!
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May 8th, 2011 at 7:16 pm
I was wondering about the undies thing. I own at least a week’s worth cos I dont do laundry that often and am not particularly keen on recycling!
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May 8th, 2011 at 8:05 pm
hahah..I was wondering exactly the same Mia, but thought I’d draw the line on quizzing Sarah about her underwear hygiene! By the end of the week I have a whole laundry baseket full, so will just assume anyone who can get by on 5 pairs does a lot of handwashing.
Sorry Sarah, hope you’re not as embarrased reading this as I was typing (but I was curious)!
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May 8th, 2011 at 8:13 pm
Well, if we’re going to be intimate…I tend to do a wash once a week or so…and I also wear my bikini a lot – I swim in the am and don’t get changed. So that covers one or two days a week. Possibly too much info for you all…?
May 8th, 2011 at 8:26 pm
oh, you sound pissed off..but thanks for update. Didn’t know about your swimming and yes, bathers do come in handy.
May 10th, 2011 at 6:16 pm
Ooooh no, not pissed off at all! Sorry if it read that way. I wouldn’t reply if I thought the question was not apt. Apologies Liz!
Very poignant post! Im obsessed with minimalist bloggers, I love all of them. I love these people who throw in their corporate jobs and give away all their possessions to go off on sabbaticals to Asia, writing the whole way, with everything they owned in their backpack. I dream of being like the monks, with a winter robe & summer robe their only possessions! I love that fact about the Dalai Lama, I never knew that!
Yet somehow I still seem to be trapped in the body of a girl who loves shoes. At least I gave up my fetish for shopping for them, and other pointless things. I used to own over 100 pairs of knickers. Yup, I KNOW.
I think Ive given up at least 75% of what I used to own. Most of my books I get from the library instead of buying. I pared an entire bookcase down to 20 I couldnt live without and gave the rest to charity. I have less than 50 items of clothing which could be a lot less. Used to have at least 50 pairs of shoes, now I have about 10. I have very few knick knacks or non-functional items, 3 small statues of skeletons from my best friend’s Europe trip that he bought me might be about it! I was surprised at how happy this makes me.
The other part of minimalist happiness is that instead of shopping when I get stressed, I sit down and think about it. I learned to see WHY I was triggered to shop, and I was frequently surprised at the nature of the emotions I would usually suppress in shoe purchases. I think I used to shop for the perfect outfit or hair product or book as a symbol; to make up for a lack in my life, something I thought I could fill externally, even though I knew deep down the answers were always inside me. I thought if I LOOKED clean and neat and perfect, my life would be clean and neat and perfect.
I recently moved house by throwing everything I owned in the back of my ’88 Corolla. Clothes and shoes and linen and towels and scuba equipment all included. I was pretty impressed about that! I didnt sell a thing – wait, I sold two books for a grand total of $2.95. Everything else I donated to charity, entire carloads full! Nothing beats that feeling of freeing yourself from consumer hell AND helping those less fortunate at the same time.
So glad to hear you have loved your time away, and discovered some wonderful things that make you happier. Cant wait to read your book, Im sure it will be a bestseller!
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May 9th, 2011 at 8:35 pm
Hi Mia,
Could you recommend some good minimalist blogs? I’m interested in reading more about this. Thanks! AJ
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May 9th, 2011 at 9:49 pm
Sure.
For some reason I couldnt post links to blogs here, so look up these people! There are HEAPS out there now but these are some favourites off the top of my head.
Francine Jay (writes Miss Minimalist)
Leo Babuatu (Zen Habits and mnmlist)
Nina Yau (Castles in the Air – and she is the kickass chick travelling Asia I mentioned in the first paragraph of my epic reply.)
Tanja Hoagland (Minimalist Packrat)
Joshua Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus (The Minimalists)
Matt Madeiro (writes Three New Leaves, this is more of a Paleo nutrition blog now, but its still good!)
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May 10th, 2011 at 8:35 am
Thanks Mia! I’m looking forwardnto reading some of these, particularly Nina Yao – she sounds awesome!
May 10th, 2011 at 6:18 pm
Also http://chrisguillebeau.com/
However, as I say, I wonder if they’re all THAT unattached and free…? The ultimate challenge to attachment is to live where you are NOW and back away from belongings…
May 11th, 2011 at 6:58 pm
I have often wondered that too. While I love being inspired to live with less (former retail whore from a family of hoarders here!) I dont know if I could spend quite that long obsessing about, photographing and writing about my belongings. Sometimes it does seem to border on obsession, the amount of time spent thinking about things.
minimalist happiness is the best kind of happiness. all you need is love.. all you need is love love love …love is all you need (ok and maybe a few pairs of knickers
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It does feel good to pare back…especially during the spring cleaning I’m doing now…just getting rid of some stuff…actually this makes me feel like I should sort through my books as well and just get rid of some more stuff, that I don’t really need…
Although some things I couldn’t really get rid of, like family possessions you found on the attic or a piece of driftwood or at least some old sketchbooks, some things just make you smile when you see them around you…
Love, Jules
…
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About 11 years ago, after my children had left home, I moved from the 3 bedroom townhouse I was renting and into a share house. I reduced all my belongings into 1 and a bit rooms. I still had a car for a little while and got rid of it 18 months later (now I just hire one if I need to drive a long distance). Once I got over the ‘sort of’ trauma of throwing things out, giving them away or selling them, I was filled with feelings of liberation and freedom. I felt that I could go anywhere and do anything I wanted because I didn’t have to worry about ‘stuff’. That lasted for a few months. Since then I have accumlated more grandchildren and consequently my own accommodation with furniture again (some provided by friends). Now I have enough to furnish a 3 bedder again plus things I never had before (except a car. I am avoiding that with a passion). My income has increased by much more compared to what what I was earning before and yet I don’t seem that far ahead financially. I have however, been able to experience things I was not previously and love the life I have created. Life changes constantly and the possibilities of new experiences can neccessitate a return to having responsibilities. It is how we view those responsibilites that counts. I have started cooking again. I love having my grandchildren over for holidays and would not be able to do that if I was sharing. I love my lifestyle and where I live. Oh, yes, and I also love the freedom of living by myself now, finally.
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loved this- something i think about a lot.
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Thank you for all the articles in the Sunday magazine but especially this one. Henry David Thoreau has long been my inspiration for trying to live a more simple and purposeful life and I loved that you quoted him!!! His book “Walden” is an inspiration and so are you! So glad I’ve finally joined your website.
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May 9th, 2011 at 3:29 pm
“our lives our flittered away by detail…simplify, simplify” x
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I laughed when I read that it’s a male thing – my husband doesn’t keep anything.
Aside from clothes etc he has one box filled with bits and bobs that are meaningful to him and that’s it. He says he likes to ‘travel light’ even though we’ve lived in the same apartment now for 5 years.
Meanwhile, we’ve got 2 weeks to pack up said apartment into 2 suitcases before we move to London. We’ve decided to sell all our furniture and the car. Now it’s my turn to start travelling light. I’m really looking forward to it.
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May 9th, 2011 at 3:29 pm
You’re moving that soon?!!!
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May 9th, 2011 at 3:53 pm
I KNOW!? Our visa was approved about 6 weeks earlier than expected and E is keen to get to his new job. Crazy times – my new blog design launched and 30 mins later I got the phone call!
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Love the post Sarah. I have already packed another load headed for the op-shop and I am going to put a few things on ebay and perhaps even start to sort through my boxes of CD’s, books & memorabilia that I will probably never look at for the rest of my life! Love the idea of stripping back my possessions. I think it will make things much easier to find! I think I inherited my mothers love of hoarding and the thought that perhaps one day I might need that box of pastels or markers!
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I love this post too! But I have to say, I don’t know about the bloke comment…my husband is by far the biggest horder out of the two of us (okay I’m a close second). But little does he know that while he’s gone camping and I’m decluttering!!
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I know this sounds stupid, but on the t.v. show Bones, one of the main characters has his girlfriend move in with him. She’s a successful news reporter who spends her life traveling and when she moved in with him all she had was one overnight bag. All of her life’s possessions were in one bag and I was amazed. Granted, it is purely fiction, the idea of having so little, and making the choice to do so, has stayed with me.
I’m moving in a couple of months, which is a perfect time to really access one’s belongings. Do I really feel like lugging ten boxes of books that I’ll never read again from one apartment to the next? No definitely not. I’m looking forward to giving lots of things away soon and this article will definitely stay on the forefront of my mind while doing so!
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hehe nice articel, i like it very much. Thanks.:)
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Being a male it has really interesting in reading so many thoughts, comments on this issue. I can be a hoarder, and every so often I will do a clean out. It generally comes down to deciding what I need and what I want. Quite often 80% of the things I have hoarded come under the want category. It’s quite liberating once I have boxed all the wants and given them to St Vinnies etc.
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May 10th, 2011 at 6:20 pm
the trick is to stop consuming in the first place!
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my mates laugh at my minimalist running wardrobe – 1 of shorts, top, bra ok so I have 3 pairs of shoes… but you can only wear one set at a time, and they dry overnight for the next run. Can anyone tell me the merit of having 4 running jackets (ok so different colours, and maybe a hood or a different fabric)? The boyf tells me to get overmyself, if the shop assistant sees them coming then good on them for selling additional product. So why do I let it wind me up? Envy, sure, to a point , but I think it goes beyond that.
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May 10th, 2011 at 6:20 pm
Ha, I have 4 pairs of running shoes/hiking shoes! I rotate. But only one pair of green shorts.
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May 11th, 2011 at 6:59 pm
I saw Penny from Big Bang Theory in the same shorts the other night and had to laugh and think of you! Somehow you are ahead of the trend!!
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[...] weekend inspired by Sarah Wilson’s sunday post, I was overwhelmed by the need to get a rid of a lot of stuff, why did I need books I had no [...]
Sarah, loved your post, but I’m going to go against the grain here and talk about the joy of keeping things. Of treasuring things. I call myself a maximalist… nay, a happy maximalist. I adore my stuff. I am not materialistic, in that I don’t crave expensive ‘stuff” (never owned a smart phone, don’t care for technology, fancy clothes or cars) but I do just love seeing and touching things I have bought in my travels, clothes or jewellery that remind me of a certain time in my life.
Goodness, I still have old school books, childrens books, university texts and my dolls house I played with when I was 7. I love that within the 4 walls of my home are the treasured trinkets that have helped shape my life. I love their colours, their smells. I have way too many cups and saucers, and dinner plates, and Moroccan rugs, and candlesticks, but each reminds me of a happy memory, or a person I shared a tea with, or a dinner party. My walls are covered in artworks from Turkey to Bali to local Bondi markets… and they all say me and make me feel good…
Granted, I do feel liberated when I go travelling and take a bare minimum for a week or two. It is a lovely feeling. But when I get home and am amongst all my stuff again, I feel whole.
I try and shave a few possessions or outdated clothes every year, and I am conscious of not letting energy stagnate in our home… but some things, like the bronze angel I bought in Bruges where my dad was born… or the Bay City Rollers Woody jumper my mother knitted me when I was 11 will just always stay with me…
I just adore my stuff. Just can’t help it.
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I am a camping addict. There is something very special about living ‘rough’ and finding you are in fact much more comfortable. My daughter loves it too. I have a complex relationship with this minimalist idea. Still trying to sort it out. My parents left the city to try living on a little farm, so we grew up with little and hate excess. I lived on a remote indigenious island for 2 yrs nursing with the bare essentials. Now I have filled my rented flat with my treasures, books, rugs all secondhand finds, I still despise excess but I have filled my little home with things that mean something special to me. I think when u realise u will probably never own place u make it feel like home even more.
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I love this idea of paring back! I love reading about it and hearing about it – it happens quite often (and I’d love to see it more often on here) – but I just don’t think I could do it.
I definitely feel the urge to throw things out, and clear up but it’s just the mindset that I can’t get through.
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I love this post! My boyfriend, our puppy and I have recently moved into a solar powered caravan on top of a mountain and we are in heaven! It’s such a great feeling to dump all of your stuff and rely on the elements to provide your water, power and (hopefully soon) food. It’s been such a fun journey!
Thanks for getting the idea of paring back out to the masses Sarah. If we all gave it a go I’m sure our society would be better for it.
amoderngirlslife.blogspot.com
pathofsimplicity.blogspot.com
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Always on the mark Sarah! I have just bought an apartment with no storage space whatsoever (this will drive me crazy at some point I just know) but after living in a big house for years and constantly accumulating things I really didn’t need, eg: all the camping gear one could ever want (used once, hate camping) I now need to cull, cull, cull and sell sell sell. I think I will be all the better for it (and save a heap of cash in the process!)
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