I think I mentioned, I chaired the Happiness & It’s Causes Conference in Brisbane on Friday. I know a few of you were there. It really was very special…Big minds, big hearts, grappling with all the stuff that counts. Lots of stuff on using our minds for good, chimps and peace (ergo the cute-as pic below).
There were a few highlights…things that got me thinking.
On creativity…
Matthieu Ricard (the man known as The Happiest Man in The World) sat with me in the Green Room, leant over and said, “I find this idea of ‘creativity’ weird”. How so? “There’s no Tibetan word for creativity…it’s a peculiar Western obsession.” He didn’t say too much more on this. Basically, he was saying that it’s odd that we separate creativity from the act of giving. I guess it is funny that we have this need to…to think we must delineate our creations, rather than just offer them.
Matthieu Ricard
On limited parameters…
This came up again in Robert Biswas-Diener (dubbed The Indiana Jones of Happiness). He pointed out that people in poor communities in Africa were just as happy as us. Despite the poverty and lack of “life-bettering” resources. This is because the standards to which they have to adhere to be accepted are narrower. For example, beadwork is important in headdresses etc. But the standard of beadwork is much the same. No one has to strive to have exceptional beadwork. And so they accept themselves more. I call it my teacup saucer theory: if you have a smaller saucer you can fill it to the brim more successfully. And feel whole.
On aging…
Alan Wallace (one of the brightest men I’ve encountered) chatted to me backstage before he went on to discuss meditation and happiness. He had been listening to Natasha Mitchell from ABC Radio and I talking about getting old. He pointed out in Tibet it’s a good thing to look older. Women boast about their grey hair…and that much of their happiness stems from being wiser. Can you imagine? If we didn’t have to fight the signs of aging? And we could be proud of them? What a different platform to start your day from!
On the mind….
His Holiness the Dalai Lama raised this several times – both in my interview with him on Wednesday, and in his forum on Friday that I chaired. He banged on a lot about altruism. It was very much the theme of the conference. He told me on camera the secret to happiness is to be altruistic. It’s the easiest, fastest way, he said.
But unlike many of the experts, and in spite of what we might all think he’d say, he doesn’t think we can simply mediate our way to it. He reckons it’s about using our minds. When we’re acutely aware of the benefits of altruism then we can steer ourselves that way. To this end, he says, secular ethics is required for us to be truly altruistic. We need to be trained, he said. And from this I took it (based on our chats from the Wednesday) that
meditation can take us too inward.
I tend to agree. And I think we in the West can get too obsessed by this idea of shutting down the mind to go inside. Instead says HH, we need functional, structural training (schooling, religion, church) to
ensure we extend our energy outwards…to others…
with the Dalai Lama on Wednesday
On the final 40%…
One of the highlights of the conference was the screening of the new film Happy! by Roko Belic. It touches on this idea that happiness is 50% determined by genes, 10% is determined by life circumstances (income, marital status etc) and 40% is determined by “other stuff”. What other stuff? Well, what we choose to make of our lives. This is entirely liberating. This stuff is free things: our passions, the flow from surfing, connecting with family and friends etc.
Roko is touring the film – Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane – over the next week or two. See it if you can see it. I saw it last night here in Byron. I cried. It’s seriously a wake-up call. A happy one.
Now I’m off to sit at the beach and write my Sunday Life column on all this. So feel free to share your thoughts?!
I saw the Dalai Lama yesterday, I was really disappointed that Burswood Dome had terrible accoustics, which combined with his accent to ensure I only got every other word. But what I did understand was marvellous. What resonated with me was his theory that living in constant fear and anxiety will destroy your immune system (helloooo, auto-immune disease!) and how compassion and forgiveness will set you free. I enjoyed it very much despite the sound problems!
And I love that he giggles so much!
I watched a documentary on late night SBS tv a while ago that did intensive research into the happiness theory. It also found that some 3rd world countries can have higher levels of happiness than western countries. The went to the slums of India and discovered that while everyone was extremely poor, they were surrounded with their friends and family all day long. Nobody was isolated, therefore nobody was really depressed. There was a sense of community, of helping each other, and that ensured their happiness. Bears thinking about.
I have been proud of my wrinkles since the first creases starting coming in at 18. I am scared of getting old and my body failing, but I have no problem with APEARING old, with the odd wrinkle or grey. It’s a choice to get neurotic about this stuff, I think, and frankly – why waste the energy?
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June 20th, 2011 at 5:06 pm
Wow! What was the doco? It sounds like Happy!
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June 20th, 2011 at 6:04 pm
I wish I could remember! It was a while ago now – a year or so, at least. Just turned on SBS one night and discovered it. They did one amazing experiment where they took a man who had been a Buddhist monk for over 20 years and did a scan of his brain while he contemplated different emotions. Apparently his capacity for happiness (as judged by blood flow to the relevant areas of the brain) was far greater than that of a “regular” person. Amazing!
If anybody else knows what I am rambling about, please let me know – would love to watch it again.
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Yay for you Sarah. You really are a lovely old soul. I read your article every week and you have a wonderful thirst for knowledge. But just remember to sit back once in a while and rest.
I hope you got peace & energy from your morning at the beach.
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Misuse of apostrophes makes me unhappy Sarah.
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June 20th, 2011 at 4:32 pm
You mean “Misuse of apostrophes makes me unhappy, Sarah.” ?
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June 20th, 2011 at 5:07 pm
Dammit, wheres the missing apostrophes’s?
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June 24th, 2011 at 11:36 am
They’re not missing, is the problem – too many in the title, and in “Happiness & It’s Causes”
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I don’t fight ageing, I accept it. My hair is going grey and I have a few wrinkles, so what. Why waste energy and precious resources on trying to look young? I have better things to do with my time and money such as travel, apply for a PhD and generally live my life.
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Hi Sarah,
I was at the Happiness conference and just wanted to say thank you for your great summary of some of the discussions. Even though I took loads of notes, so much information gets lost in the shuffle. Thank you!
Also, you were a great hostess on Friday and I enjoyed putting a face and personality to the column that I look forward to reading every week.
Best wishes,
Erin
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June 20th, 2011 at 5:08 pm
Oh, you should have waved! How was that 20 minute filler at the beginning? I was out of my depth!
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Aw, I love pictures of inter-species mingling.
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I’ve also heard about higher happiness levels in the Indian slums than in the west. Maybe it’s because there’s a lot less ‘I’ and a lot more ‘we’ in those communities. It seems today in the west we’re more likely to form pseudo-communities defined by status and possessions rather than altruism but then again maybe I’m just having a very cynical day
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June 20th, 2011 at 4:36 pm
Get the book “Affluenza” written a couple of years ago by a couple of Australians. I think it goes a long way towards explaining the levels of personal misery in the wealthy Western, developed countries…….
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June 20th, 2011 at 5:09 pm
Not cynical. Accurate.
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Liberating women from the fear of looking their age is a monumental task. Feeling comfortable in your natural hair colour is both an act of defiance and courage.
And I now note that many older men are starting to look distinctively odd, and when you analyse why, you suddenly realise that their new hair colour does not match their skin colour, and that’s why it all looks weird.
I love my grey-white short hair, but at 58 I find that I am sometimes patronised by younger women marvelling at the fact that I can text on my mobile phone. Clearly the hair colour thing throws and confuses them.
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June 20th, 2011 at 2:41 pm
Men’s hair dye rarely matches the eyebrows. That’s why it looks weird.
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I agree that meditation can take us far too inward. Alot of people turn to meditation in times of emotional termoil to decipher whats happening but I think, once you’ve figured it out yourself, you need to voice any issues you may have.
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Does anyone know how we can see this film in little old Adelaide?? We always seem to be missed out!
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June 20th, 2011 at 5:10 pm
oooohh, I know. I think Roko will be back to Australia. These are pre-screenings. He’s also said he’s going to make it avail on the internet eventually.
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My personal beleif (mind you, unfortunately totally unfounded…) is that the way of the Western world is: Money. Money is made in the grandest way when we, the miserable, throw it at the company which offers the best solution to our western woe…
Walk out into the street and see what: beautiful smiling women on billboards, and then beautiful smiling posers walking around in real life because they have bought and bought and spent and bought some fake appearance that they are happy. Being the fact that they are strangers, to any outsider they look amazing and of course HAPPY. And you think; I can buy that, too!!! And so we all buy etc, and are never ever satisfied. Despite going back home to a lonely existence surrounded by your t-shirts and hair dyes that all promised what you wanted, but never really delivered.
Anyhoo… Unfounded personal beleif #2 – the more we put our mental energy into attempting to discover where and what our happiness is, the more we deny that we already have it within us. Pure acceptance without questioning and trying to define our mysterious happiness, I beleive, will set us free.
Amazing point on focusing energy outwards, not inwards. This theory has been rattling around in my mind for the past two weeks. I like it.
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June 21st, 2011 at 9:08 am
You raise some great theories, I too believe consumerism is just a bandaid for our soul. And I also agree happiness shouldn’t be sought too hard, it is just within us, in the simpleness of us. Certainly can’t be found on an ‘eat, pray,love’ type adventure and self absorbtion. I think the natural world definantly can bring a happiness. I also have found that happiness doesn’t need to be big overall stuff, I find little moments of happiness in everyday stuff then maybe they just all add up.
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June 21st, 2011 at 11:04 am
I agree. I am quite sad the Dalai Lama didnt get the greatest review from one particularly self-centred Herald journo, who said “The majority of people the spiritual leader addressed were laden with a mortgage, family and full time job. We can’t all be devoting significant portions of our days to quiet reflection and prolonging the path to Nirvana.” Which only really pushes the theory that you need to give up your job and credit card and go do great feats in order to be happy. You dont. Just be kind, and compassionate, and devote some time however small to training your mind to seek happiness. I too believe we all have the power within us! (Wont stop me reading autobiographical travel novels from middle aged divorcees though.)
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June 21st, 2011 at 2:53 pm
Oh yeah I’m all for that, hence my ridiculously huge collection of expats in paris memoirs.
June 21st, 2011 at 5:23 pm
Yes, the Dalai Lama helps put everything into perspective.
Deepak Chopra also says the ability to be happy is aleady within us
(such as counting our blessings? Practising gratitude & focusing on
what we have rather than griping over what others have that we don’t?)
I had a surf at Wategoes Beach today, and then just sat on the rocks, watching the waves, hills behind and some dolphins. That made me happy.
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Hi Sarah ..
just wondering about your take on Re-incarnation.
Maybe you’ve covered it in one of your previous blogs that I haven’t read.
You have met the Dalai Lama a couple of times and you are obviously on
a consciously spiritual path.
I know of a number of people who have been drawn to Buddhism and become aware of past life connections.
What thinketh you of this phenomenon ??
p.s. did you manage to lose your glasses ?? Hope not .. They really work for you.
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I think the reason altruism works is bcos, as a Social Species,
we are hardwired to help out one another to ensure survivability
of the species.Altho it might not be mandatory to do so, nature rewards
us with positive feelings of happiness when we do so.
We shld make a distinction between short-lived feelings of pleasure such
as observing a beautiful sunset from the sense of fulfillment we get from
knowing we make a difference when we are altruistic.
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Hi Sarah,
Greetings from Texas. I loved reading about the conference. I’m interested in your comment about how meditation can take us too inward. I agree this can happen, however, this hasn’t been my personal experience. My meditation practice has actually helped me to accept myself and recognize how my conditioning (from parents, school, etc.) has shaped my thoughts. And this in turn has generated more joy and gratitude in my life and an acceptance of other people. I feel a lot more open and friendlier towards people…and I’m a lot happier, actually! I don’t know if anyone else has had this experience…but I’ve found that when I take time to meditate (even just 20 minutes a day), the groundedness (Is that even a word? Ah well…
it gives me makes me feel more connected and more willing to reach out to others, rather than wanting to withdraw from the world.
Anyway…
Thank you so much for doing what you do – I always enjoy reading your posts!
Cheers,
Robin
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Hi Sarah,
I was also there in Brisbane last Thursday, with a couple of colleagues. We are all kindergarten teachers from Adelaide and when the Dalai Lama said these words it struck me as a thunderbolt- his closing remarks were on education! He said:
“Now, we are born in twentieth century, time to go, say bye-bye! Ha ha ha. We must pass on warm-heartedness to those who will build happy world. Christian tradition- not universal- Muslim tradition- not universal. Not acceptable for everyone.
We must introduce secular education for warm-heartedness, but how- I have no idea ha ha ha- I am not expert!
We should introduce research into warm heartedness in one school- then in five years, introduce to ten schools, one hundred schools.”
Wow! Now there is a mission statement for educators in the early 21st century!
I have taken this very much to heart and I am pondering ways of pursuing this mission. I am so blessed to have been at that conference!
P.s., he seems so real and down to earth that all the titles, Dalai Lama, His Holiness, fall away as you see him. I wonder if he wishes people would just call him Tenzin?
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