It’s always someone’s birthday or wedding. And – separate thought – I think it’s always nice to give something that helps others in need. Because, I mean, who needs another Jo Malone candle!?  So I thought I’d share UNICEF’s Inspired Gifts program…where you can buy a bike for your loved one…that goes to someone in Africa!

via goldsnowdrops

Tip: Flag this post so you have a gift idea ready to go (perhaps add it to instapaper…I have a file called “gifts’ filled with ideas).

Basically, you buy a gift for someone that goes to someone else in need. A goat. Or a bike! I do this at Christmas. My family and previous partners have always groaned at first. But then been grateful. We used to wonder how the goat was going, living its little goat life in Namibia or whatever. (I once wrote a “sponsor letter” from the goat and posted it six months later…”thank you for my life, milking time is always fun”…).

Three of my favourite gifts:

• A Bike! $87. UNICEF has found that in some parts of the world a bike is one of the most important modes of transport for villages. It is particularly helpful for health workers to reach vulnerable children in remote communities. It is often used to transport other Inspired Gifts like the vaccine carrier.
• Measles vaccines: $31 will protect 100 children from measles.
• Family water kit: $127

Here’s what others’ gift-giving antics delivered around the world last year:

I’ve been thinking about this a bit. In part to understand what I’m seeking. In part to understand my friends’ relationships…some of which I don’t fully…get.

Pic by Javier Lovera

I used to believe there was a One.

I now believe arranged marriages can often produce better relationships than when we’re left to our devices. We create our love, once we decide. For a VERY interesting discussion of this see Sheena Iyengar’s book The Art of Choosing (she compares different relationships and finds the arranged ones are far happier 20 years down the track. It’s a terrific read.) I’ve put her TED.com talk below…as a sideline.

So the point is…we choose love. We choose to make the relationship work.

I used to believe relating was about facing each other and seeing each other in each other’s eyes.

I now believe relating is about travelling side by side, looking in the same direction. Every now and then we look across at each other and prod each other on with a kind smile.

I used to believe we found our match.

I interviewed His Holiness for Sunday Night on Channel Seven. Here it is…

This week in Sunday Life I quit arguing

via powrightbetweentheeyes

If I had my time again I wouldn’t have asked Dad’s permission to see Nightmare on Elm Street 4 when I was 15, thus spending the next five weeks arguing why he was wrong to say no. I would’ve just gone, like my friends did.

At a guess, I spent approximately 11/15ths of my teenage years arguing My Point to my parents. Which handed my five younger siblings incredible unscrutinsed freedom to do what they liked. They – wisely – took the line, that I only learned much later in life while working for Kerry Packer, “Don’t ask for permission, know how to beg for forgiveness”.

It’s an interesting point to explore right now. Because, frankly, everyone seems to be arguing to flaccid effect. If you’re not throwing the remote at journalist Andrew Bolt’s head on the telly, you’re throwing it at Dick Smith’s or Gwyneth Paltrow’s or Lord Monckton. And Federal politics has descended into a My Point-scoring scrum. One where the ball was lost long ago. It’s like we’re all standing in front of my dad. I say this, because my dad was supreme at not relenting to Another Point.

A Gen Zer asked me at a Coal Seam Gas rally the other day if there was any point to arguing. A Gen Yer wouldn’t have asked such a question. They’re the quintessential younger sibling in the equation (with Gen Zers a sort of second-rounds eldest child). I took on his question quite seriously (as Gen Xers do; we also still attend rallies) and this week explored it further.

Dispiritingly, a lot of the research dedicated to the topic finds arguing a point doesn’t work. Worse, it leads to what has been dubbed “The Backfire Effect” by US researchers.

I asked last week what you thought of giveaways. I loved the feedback – thank you for taking the time to be clear and honest with me about it. It’s a tricky issue. And thank you for the suggestion to tie giveaways in with giving to those in more need than those of us reading this site.

via The Trendhunter

Since I have no need for the pink diamond necklace Oprah’s team sent recently (the one valued at $450 and handed out during her visit), I thought I’d give it away. Sort of.

Recently I came upon a study by Richard Wiseman that looked at luck from an interesting perspective.

From Live Now By Chad Kouri

It surveyed people to find which of them considered themselves lucky—or unlucky. He then gave both the “lucky” and the “unlucky” a newspaper and asked them to count how many photographs were inside.

The unlucky people took two minutes to count all the photographs, whereas the lucky ones determined the number in a few seconds.

How!? Why?! Because the lucky people found a message on the second page that read, “Stop counting. There are 43 photographs in this newspaper.”