i’m choicely buggered…you decide!
This week I decide less
by John Rensten / Getty Images
I have two seemingly unrelated theories about life.
First, successful people eat boring breakfasts. Crude, but true. Look around the busy exec-y types you know – they eat vegemite on toast, or porridge. Every day. And don’t put any further thought to it. It’s only ratbags like me who deliberate wildly between boiled eggs, quinoa porridge and left-over Indian.
The second, kids – despite their protestations – don’t actually want to be asked what after-school activity they prefer for next semester, or what they’d like on their sandwich today. I don’t have kids, but I was talking about this with friends-who-are-parents last weekend. As one said, “It was better, wasn’t it – for everyone – back when we were told ‘hey, kids it’s devon and tomato sauce today’. We’d move on to wrestling with our sister. What have we done?” We’ve bludgeoned kids with decisions, that’s what.
I’ve touched on this issue before in this column: the chore that is making decisions. But, seriously, it’s the sexiest topic doing the psychology rounds at the moment and so I thought I should re-penetrate with the latest findings. They all say the same thing: we’re a society suffering “decision fatigue”. The New York Times magazine this month ran a long feature on the subject and there’s emerged a spate of books to choose from about the art of choosing. At every turn, we have to make more decisions – whether to reply to an email, to pay for extra legroom, to subscribe to the weekly newsletter. We’re expected to have an opinion on everything and it’s leaving us choicely buggered.
A study earlier this year found, unlike, say, running fatigue – which sees us hit a wall – decision fatigue sees us do dumb things, like reverting to default or safe options, or to making decisions that keep our options open…which just prolongs the fatigue. After a day spent making decisions, judges in the US were found to default to more severe parole sentences in the afternoon. They were decision-spent, so set conservative sentences that kept options open (they could always reduce them later). Another study found when we have to choose the customized extras for our car, we deliberate conscientiously at the start of the form, then eventually “give in” to the default options (nattily, companies put the more expensive decisions at the end of forms). Or, of course, we put off deciding.
But, friends, I’m interested in solutions here. And preferably ones that are dictated to me. Because this is the point: the less pithy decisions we make, the more decisive energy we have for the important ones.
Fix #1: set your life up to make less decisions.
Eat the same breakfast. Wear a suit. Buy the same brand of frozen peas. Again to revisit, a while back I shared I was living out of one suitcase. I have done so for six months now and I do in fact think it’s made me more successful. I don’t deliberate what to wear– I have one exercise ensemble and three “day outfits” that I rotate – freeing me to make more important decisions, like whether to include this example in this column.
Fix #2 Do whatever grabs you.
I stumbled on this productivity advice a while back: scan your to-do list and just do stuff that appeals, thus saving the decision of whether it’s a priority. It warms you up and eventually you get through the lot. I’ve been applying this to life generally. Grabbing the first item on the pub menu that I see and not worrying I’ll get food envy, for instance. It’s strangely motivating because you know you’re doing it for an important reason – to conserve choice power.
Fix #3 Spend an hour making choices.
Most stuff we “can’t get to” (emails, paperwork, etc.), says Steve Chandler in his book Time Warrior, bank up because they require a decision (that we’ve been too buggered to make). Fly through your to-do list and make a fast decision; make it a game, he says. Again, I found it worked knowing it was for a greater cause.
I’m not a parent, but perhaps telling your eleven-year-old that the reason they’re having devon (again) is because you’re saving them from choosing a drop-kick husband when they’re older might work too?
Sarah, this could not be more apropos in my life right now! I just spent 10 minutes standing in front of the pantry deliberating over my breakfast choice. Ridiculous.
In such situations, I’m often reminded of Suzy Welch’s 10 10 10 theory- will the outcome of this decision affect me in 10 minutes? 10 months? 10 years? It’s a thought that tends to quickly bring me back to earth and back into the situation at hand to make a swift choice.
Thanks for another great post!
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I do economic research related to taxation/ income redistribution, so I was really interested in the argument made (in the NYT piece) about poor people with limited resources having to make more choices in certain enviroments than the rest of us who can buy, say, whatever food we like, and the implications of “decision fatigue” for the choices that they make. It’s a thought-provoking area of research. Lately I’ve been trying to “automate” many of my daily decisions, as you describe, to free up my mental energy for more important things!
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September 11th, 2011 at 1:53 pm
I liked that bit, too. YOu can see why the poor sometimes “give in”
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I love this Sarah. You have uncovered or perhaps just highlighted a very ‘modern day illness’. We are all suffering from decision fatigue. We have too many choices and one of the most difficult things to do is to make the choice and have the integrity to stand by our decisions. However, with so many choices the one thing that holds us (or perhaps just me) is the repercussions of a decision made: what will others think?, is there a better choice?, have I made the ‘right’ choice? For every decision we (I) make there are so many other choices I could have (or with my thought process should have) made. It becomes so exhausting trying to make the choice that you do end up using the ‘default’ choice. I often find myself mulling over a decision, and once finally made, realise that the decision is often the one I had originally thought in the first instance when the choice was offered!
As an educator I also see how this effects students. With too much choice, they too don’t know which one is the best decision to make. If is far easier – and more effective from an educational perspective – to not provide so many options for students. We should have the integrity to set in place certain decisions for them. Anyone ever wondered why a multiple choice questionnaire or exam is dreaded? Because we have too many options – and sometimes the one we want, depending on the type of question it is, is not even there! Perhaps we are lacking in our own ability to make a choice and be pleased with that decision – whatever the consequences – good or bad – it was the one that we obviously needed to make.
And I am happy to admit that I am one of ‘those’ I eat the same breakfast, and often the same for my lunches and dinners too – it takes away all that time thinking about the options! Ah, i’m glad I decided to comment on this article!!!
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September 12th, 2011 at 7:49 pm
I agree, Miranda, that yr initial decision is normally the right one.
That’s why the large stores offer cash refunds if you change yr mind over a purchase. They know that a large part of purchases are impulse buys & that if the customer were to walk out of the door without buying, they wld have most likely lost the sale for good.
Their market research has shown that once people commit to a purchase & pay for it, a psychological process (called affirmation, or suchlike, where they look for reasons to support their purchase decision, post purchase) means that most shoppers won’t be changing their minds & returning the goods later for a refund. That’s why we don’t see queues of people at the Customer Service counter asking for refunds (except possibly after Christmas to return unwanted gifts)
As Mia mentioned in another post, the retailers do not do these (Refunds for changing our minds) out of the goodness of their heart, but only bcos they see that they will make a buck out of it.
“it takes away all that time thinking about the options”
That’s why Brand building is so valued by companies everywhere & why brands such as Coca Cola are worth hundreds of millions in Goodwill.
Customers hate the Buying Process with the need to make decisions on which product to buy with the attendant risk of making the wrong decision, & suffering disappointment. That’s why once they identify a brand which “delivers the goods” as it were, they exhibit Brand Loyalty in the future by making repeat purchases, as it removes the angst of decision making, removes risk & saves time. Same reason why most of us go back to the same restaurants, hairdresser, franchises etc etc as they offer consistency of service.
On another point, this reminds me of an article I read awhile back where new migrants to the West from Communist Bloc countries in the Soviet era suffered major shopping stress when confronted with the hundreds of brands for each product in the Western stores. The thinking process required to make shopping decisions is obviously a skill most of us develop unconsciously growing up in a capitalist economy, a skill which someone growing up in a Communist economy never had to develop, as, in most cases there were no choices to be made.
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awesome. good plan
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I work in the nutrition field and this is certainly true for many people I see who are overweight.
Sometimes when you have more choice with food and try to make things more and more exotic – you overeat. Alternatively, you can just overthink things and spend far too long worrying about what to eat!
Keep it simple as the saying goes
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I totally agree with this! I find it amazing that you will walk through the supermarket and hear a mother say to her two year old, “what do you want for tea?” (possibly because she can’t be stuffed thinking of something). As someone with a two year old myself, I want him to be a kid, and not have to decide anything until he really wants to, and is old enough to! When I was a kid, the only time we got to choose what was for tea was on our birthday…and that was AWESOME! So special, and you would think for days and days before what to have for main and dessert.
Life is too full of choices as it is without making kids grow up too soon by having to choose more. Not to mention the fact that if they go through life being in charge of the decisions of adults around them, they will one day get a job (as a junior) and not be able to deal with being told what to do and when.
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September 11th, 2011 at 1:49 pm
That could easily be me you hear in the supermarket. I taught myself to be a better decision maker and I think it’s a skill you need to teach children. So, yes, reasonably often, I will ask my four-year-old daughter to make a choice. Not an infinite choice between endless options, but a choice, a quick and decisive one. My theory is that if I can teach her, and also demonstrate, that descison-making is easy and that satisfaction comes from the decision, not the choice, then she will be better prepared to design her adult life somewhat free of the inertia choice fatigue breeds. Just my perspective
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September 11th, 2011 at 2:40 pm
Fair point – and yep, I think that learning to make choices is definitely a skill that IS learnt. I think I am more with Sue below though…guided choice with two options…do you want this or this for dinner? Do you want to wear this outfit, or this one? From options that you have chosen to be OK, and then they choose from there.
I remember a case study when I did marketing at Uni about kids being responsible for 80% of parent’s choices when it comes to buying a car or a house…and that seemed insane to me…still does. We also learnt the choice of two options, interestingly, is one of the best ways to sell to men!
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September 11th, 2011 at 9:25 pm
Not surprised re. the kids being responsible for purchases. Ever seen that “parents with prams” parking outside shopping centres? Perfect example. Parenthood isnt a disability, and those spots arent legally enforcable in most places, did you really think the shopping centres were offering privileged parking as a kindness? No, they know that if they market to the families, they will make more money. Our society is set up to make parents think they are bad people if they dont consume at a record pace. Check the ads for everything from life insurance to cleaning products to roof tilling, its all aimed at parents. It’s mean, but unfortunately it does work.
i work with children from trauma and abuse backgrounds and we use a strategy of guided choice – giving the child the guided choice between 2 options. The traumatised child’s chaotic brain is unable to cope with a multitude of choices and when faced with this it can trigger the trauma. Generally they can make a choice between the 2 options we have helped select and they then feel empowered and happy by having successfully made a decision.
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great article.. and comments!
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Should I write a comment or shouldn’t I? Hmmmm…
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September 12th, 2011 at 10:41 am
haha
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I think as guys we’re luckier when it comes to dressing for work.
I used to only buy plain black socks (also easier come laundry time as we don’t have to match up the socks), well cut plain blue or white shirts & dark blue or greyish suits.
Sure helps in the morning rush & cuts down on stress in the morning
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September 11th, 2011 at 8:22 pm
Wow. Thanks for that exciting comment. It blew my mind.
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September 11th, 2011 at 8:42 pm
Jason, No need to be mean abt it.At least I try to contribute wheras you seem to get yr kicks being sarcastic. Your life must be pretty bad if you are toxic like this to people around you, or maybe not, as you won’t be able to say it anonymously!
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September 12th, 2011 at 9:15 am
i appreciated your comment terry!
its a good reminder to keep as many areas as simple as possible
September 12th, 2011 at 9:45 am
I also appreciated it Terry, it actually made me think you are so right about buying all the same socks, great idea!
September 12th, 2011 at 10:59 am
Thanks. The other practical reason for doing so is so that you don’t have to throw out the “surviving” one when one side gets damaged or missing (as they do). I find shopping for clothes (even socks) a chore, so anything to put that off as long as possible helps!
September 13th, 2011 at 12:26 am
I agree. I used to love shopping, but now I can think of a thousand things I’d rather do. Anything to make life simpler, right?
Thank for this article Sarah
I have over the past couple of years noticed my increasing ‘ability’ (disability?) to not make choices. Instead I way up every tiny last morsel of information to make the ‘best’ decision. And then I still put it off for days. Or longer, and leave it unresolved.
It makes me feel just awful.
I like the shift to > grasp the joy in making a quick decision, rather than the decision itself.
Perhaps there isn’t a ‘best choice’ every time, just different options…
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September 13th, 2011 at 2:23 am
I think there are 2 parts of the decision making process that may be stopping us from making up our minds. The first part being the clarification of the pros & cons of, for example, buying a particular product, & the second being the fear of making the wrong decision & having to live with the consequences.
With respect to the first, when I get stuck, I find it useful to write the pros & cons on a piece of paper in terms of priority of attributes I want from making a particular decision.
Just as most people find it easier to work out a maths problem on a piece of paper instead of doing it in their head, it helps to see it written out on paper.
As to the second part (dread making the wrong decision), I ask myself “What is the worse thing that can happen from making the wrong choice?”
You will find that it’s usually something you can live with eg order the wrong meal at the restaurant? No probs: I’ll have the other dish next time I dine out.
Buy the wrong car? No probs: Will get it right when I change the car in a few years.
As long as you are able to obtain 80% of the “pros” on yr list, as Rachel says below, you will be able to live with whatever decision you make. After all, most (if not all) of our day-to-day decisons pale into insignificance when compared to the decisons JFK & Kruschev had to make during the Cuban Missile Crises, where the wrong decision could literally have meant the end of the world as a consequence of nuclear war.
Also, at the end of the day, we are never in a position to have “Perfect” knowledge before making a decision, whether it is a business or investment decision, or otherwise.
Therefore, we shld not beat ourselves up if we do not achieve the “perfect” outcome.
In business school, they teach you about risks at the micro (business level), macro (economy/political) which you try to manage with Risk Management Strategy. However, they also point out the “X” factor or unforseen event that nobody can predict or manage, such as the Govt suddenly halting all Live Exports of cattle overseas or a “911 event”.
A farmer who has made expansion plans without having foreseen this event cannot blame himself for it as he was operating in an environment of incomplete knowledge – which we all do – to a certain extent in our day-to-day decision making.
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Thanks for affirming that my boring breakfasts and often lunch (2 or 3 different things rotated) are not just okay but a good idea. I’m decisive on most things, which I think reflects having a sense of priority. Whether I wear the purple dress or the red dress today really doesn’t matter. I can buy the chair I like from the 2nd shop I visit rather than exploring the 20 other shops in a 10km radius that might have similar chairs that might be marginally better, because I’ll like the chair for what it offers (a comfy place to read in the sun) rather than what it looks like. And it does save a lot of stress.
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Terry (above) is quite correct! I try not to own too many clothes, even though this makes me something of an anomaly for a female. When I know what I own, everything goes with everything else and it all fits, so I dont have that “I have nothing to wear!” moment. Also, my meals tend to be indentical for weeks at a time. Same breakfast, same lunch, mostly the same dinner. Not only are meal times easier but shopping is a breeze. I order groceries online, so I am not tempted by supermarket gimmicks. Less choice seems to equal more freedom, you would think it would be the other way around but it isnt! Somehow when you dont have as many options, you just get on with it.
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September 13th, 2011 at 1:35 am
Monkey Mia, You’ve hit the nail on the head.
This is the only way to fight back against the rampant marketing onslaught of the big corporates. You can see how their messages have interfered with our lives by making it overly complicated!
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This reminded me of three things:
I read an article last week about an adult follow-up of the famous “marshmallow” experiment which measured toddlers’ self control and ability to delay gratification. It pointed out people who are good at delaying gratification don’t necessarily have more self control, but they acknowledge that it’s hard to resist something delicious and deliberately look for ways to distract themselves or avoid putting themselves in a position where they’ll be tempted (or, a situation where we have too many choices.)
I also remember reading an interview with Anna Wintour where she put her success down to being decisive and making choices quickly.
Finally, I still think exercising choice and taking responsibility for the important decisions is incredibly important and character strengthening.
I used to date a guy who refused to make choices. If I asked what he wanted for dinner, or what movie he wanted to see, the response was always, “Oh, whatever you want, I don’t mind. I’m just happy if you’re happy.” (Of course, this didn’t preclude passive aggressive sulking if he didn’t like my choice.) It was awful – I’d second guess every decision until finally he couldn’t decide whether he wanted to be in the relationship or not. Deciding to move on was not ahrad choice!
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I was just reading your article in the GCM. I noticed in the picture that you have quite grey hair along your part. Did you grey early in life (I think you are 40?) or is it just recent?
BTW, I think your curly hair is gorgeous. You should wear it natural more often.
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Try planning your wedding.. ugh! You’ve spent your whole life believing that you have the whole wedding planned out and every decision already made years and years in advance, but when it comes to it, it’s amazing how many zillions more decisions still need to be made. And then when you’ve reached your decision-making limit, or well past it, you then remember there is still the honeymoon to agonise over. Oh yes, decision fatigue was well and truly a problem for us.
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Hi Sarah,
I love this post, it’s so true. I lived in London for a few years and lived with travellers, like ourselves. I got so sick of having discussions with people about their great life dilemmas such as whether to go to Paris or Barcelona for the bank holiday weekend. They laboured over these decisions like they were deciding who to donate their kidney to.
I have deliberately started to minimise decision making by doing meal plans that are repetitive such as casserole Tuesday night, pasta Wednesday etc. The type of casserole or pasta can vary but the main decision of what to cook has been made.
I am so taking you up on the idea to have 3 outfits that you rotate. Making decisions about what to wear is a total brain drain at the moment.
Thanks for your insights and articles each week, I really enjoy them.
Lee
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This topic really interest me! In grad school, I did an analysis on a large population of children and whether they were given choice during meal times. My hypothesis was that children who were given choice was less likely to be overweight. I found out that choice and weight had no significant correlation. However, I should note that this wasn’t terribly scientific since I didn’t design the survey, but used the results from an old survey in my analysis.
P.S. As an American, I love to see the different vocabulary you use. However, sometimes I have no idea what you’re saying.
haha.
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[...] Sarah Wilson wrote this interesting little piece for the Sunday Life supplement magazine that comes with the Sunday Age in Melbourne, and also posted it on her blog. It goes into a little bit of detail about how as a society we are suffering decision fatigue, and are unnecessarily burdening our children with decisions they are not really capable of understanding. I personally don’t remember being asked as a child what I wanted for lunch at school, I just ate whatever was put in my lunchbox, then went and played, whereas I have seen younger cousins being quizzed at every possible moment on what they would like to do. They want to roll in the mud, that’s what. [...]
It’s a little bit like being true to yourself, isn’t it? Rather than deliberating over which is the option that’s going to make you look best, make others most comfortable and give you the most advantages, it’s sometimes far more beneficial to just go with what it is you’ll like and take it from there.
I’ve always been called a fussy eater, because my list of foods I’d rather not eat is long and varied and it’s impacted on how I eat at home and out. When I go to restaurants or cafes I usually order the same few things from the menu that I’ve had time and again, and a lot of people think this shows lack of adventurousness or courage…but…I’m always satisfied with my meal! I don’t waste converstation time reading the menu for half an hour, I don’t worry about whether my lime milkshake will complement my fish and I don’t usually spend time arguing with the waiter about not getting what I expected.
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Love it – less is best eliminate the ‘food envy’ choose the first off the menu! Make it ‘a game’. You have inspired me to reduce my wasted time on choice making. Thank you
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This remind me of a TED talk called the Paradox of Choice – the stress that comes with having too many options!
On a personal note, I have noticed that people who are successful at work are those who make quick decisions and move on – regardless of whether they are the “right” ones. They then make them right.
On an even more personal (and slightly frivolous) note, I think this applies to wardrobes too – I spend way too much time figuring out combinations of clothes in the morning, and end up wearing the same thing anyway!
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