Oh, you know what. Deep breath. This…
Have you ever done something that’s terrified you to the core? That you have to dive into with no map, no instructions, nothing to hold onto? Instead you must freefall with no guarantee of where – and if – you’re going to land? Something that you know will change you, but you don’t know how yet…you just know it will, and already has?
For me, that’s what this book I’m writing has been about. This book IS the VERY journey that I’m writing about. I’ve lived out my book, about half a chapter ahead of the writing and so my writing has had to wait for my psychic growth. And my damn psychic growth WON’T be rushed.
Deadline is in seven weeks. I have half the book left to write. I’m Bradley Cooper’s character in Limitless. And I still don’t know what my book is really about.
Freaking? You bet? Fired up? More than ever.
I share this, well, to simply share a moment in “This is serious, Mum” fear. Because we all have these moments.
Don’t we?
Hi,
I find I rush into things with the belief that my parents instilled in us – that we can do anything we put our minds to.
I get that spark of inspiration and just run with it… then on the journey look around and think ‘wow am I really doing this?’ ‘can I do this?’. So far so good for me.. a few wins under my belt but most of all confidence of these experiences has done wonders for my love of life. The fear is good it means we are challenging ourselves and god it feels good when its over.. success or fail I like the smug feeling that I put myself out there.
Sarah – we are all looking forward to your book… no pressure.
Jess
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What would happen if you didn’t deliver in 7 weeks? Would your publisher drop you and demand their advance back (assuming they have given you one)?
I wish you well and feel fairly confident you will get this done. And I gather, from what I have read on your blog, that your book is about you and your life, your experiences and how you have been shaped by those experiences – a meditation as it were on life, a rumination on love, a way of speaking to and of all that is the human condition. (I am guessing this is what your book is about and I could be totally off the mark)
But perhaps though the question needs to be asked as to who you are writing this for? Which I know is a really tough one but the answer might be liberating enough to stop you flummoxing about with the what in order to let the why take you to the heart of it.
Emilia
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Yes Sarah, if we are really living life, we do all have these moments.
Mine is doing a PhD. Not sure why I committed to doing it. Not sure where it is going to take me. It really has me “out there” out of my comfort zone and feeling exposed. But, dammit, I know that it is part of my psychic journey. And as uncomfortable as it feels at times (OK, much of the time!), it feels right.
Keep moving Sarah. One foot in front of the other, one word after another. And love and appreciate every minute.
I’m not really one for blogs, but yours really speaks to me, I never miss a post. Thank-you for your work. Looking forward to your book!
Lisa.
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I hear you, Sarah. I’ve had these moments. But I have learnt to welcome these feelings and just be friends with them. I remember the words from a Zen Master, “The boundary to what we can accept is the boundary to our freedom”. This really helps me when I am gripped by the fear of unknown.
You really write from the heart and this is why I love reading your blogs though, I may not agree with some of your views. Life is all about experiences. Just enjoy the journey. I can’t wait to read your book.
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October 14th, 2011 at 4:06 pm
love this quote – going to pin it on my wall…
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A piece of advice I was given at uni 20 years ago for big projects like these: never end the day by finishing a task in your project. End the day by starting a new one, so you can get stuck into it the next morning.
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TISM PURPLE POWER!!!!!! xoxoxoxo
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I love and totally second Fiona’s tip. I tend to jump right into thing before I really know what I’m doing. I do it with my classes all the time. I come up with an idea for something I’d like to teach, I make up a topic and recipes and a syllabus and I put it out there and only THEN do I really figure out what it is I’ll be teaching. Meaning I literally come up with the recipe name first and then figure out how to make it. For some that might seem kind of insane, but for me it totally works and I enjoy the push to create. (And they’ve all been a brilliant success!) Your book will come and you’ll be blown away by what it ends up being. I’m sure we all will, too. (And I’ve no doubt that whatever you hand in 7 weeks from now will still be just the beginning so don’t feel like that will be IT; so many of my friends who’ve published books tell me that’s when the work REALLY begins.)
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October 12th, 2011 at 2:14 pm
Actually Alejandra I love your advice too! I want to conduct some workshops over the summer which I’ve never done before.. it’s all a bit scary, but your advice makes it simpler. Syllabus and topic first, then the meat will come later. Yeah! Thanks!
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October 13th, 2011 at 12:37 pm
I second this! So the gentle push on the back (or not so gentle kick to the derierre!) that I need!
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Just leap. The net will appear. xx
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Some of us work best under the pressure of deadlines! By the time yours comes, I’ll have completed 8 weeks sugar free! Day 3 and loving it. Cannot thank you enough for your ebook, it was just the kick up the butt I needed. Best of luck with this next venture. xx
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October 12th, 2011 at 3:15 pm
I’ll be 8 weeks sugar (& mostly carb) free too! Good luck, Day 4!!!
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Yeahh go!! Imagine how much you can squeeze out with your fiery attitude
I am just about to take a plunge into the unknown and move to a huge city by myself… very daring considering my life thus far!!! Most days I think of it as a fantasy but soon it will be my reality and I cannot wait!!! (with freaking out type excitement like you)
I love that everything we could ever dream of in this very special existence is totoally obtainable, but you have to jump to the next podium to touch it which means risking falling. And if you fall, you don’t even know where you may fall into – could be better!! Alternatively you could sit alone on your little podium analysing the ground beneath you.
But that’s not even the case with you, you’re already there !! Just be the vessel your future needs and it’s done. I can’t wait to read about your journey
and I bet you can’t either !
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just do it, Sarah!
I was 67 and I decided to do a counselling degree…hadn’t studied since school and had never written anything either!
I did it and, you know, I didn’t even find it hard! That surprised me…my life experience just kept helping me along.
I am also sugar free and loving it.. downloaded your ebook to give to a friend.
thanks, go for it.
wishing you love and laughter.
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October 12th, 2011 at 11:32 pm
That is just so inspiring. I hope I have that bravery at 67. Sometimes at 35 I feel too old to start new. I see it’s ritotally ridiculous of me.
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October 13th, 2011 at 8:25 am
thank you, Mel, the thing is as you get older , you mostly just feel the same!
except the aches etc. start around 70! Love and laughter,
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October 13th, 2011 at 12:38 pm
I had dinner with my 86 year old Dad last week. He reckons he feels the same inside as he did at 16
(I think he must have been a very wise and grown-up teenager then!)
October 13th, 2011 at 1:24 pm
I know how he feels….your mind becomes wiser; your spirit becomes stronger; your body looks and feels older…but your ‘heart’/soul/centre of you feels the same. And time flies so fast….it is amazing growing old…..loving it. give your Dad my love; I haven’t got to 80 yet so it is good to know that it doesn’t change..love and laughter.
Thanks for your post Sarah. I’m really feeling this right now. I have five days left until I have to submit my undergraduate honours thesis and I’m freaking out. Its not a long piece of work but I feel like I’ve put my whole heart into the topic all year, and I’m still not sure of precisely how it will conclude.
But at the same time, I am loving the clarity I get with a deadline, and the feeling of getting into the flow in the periods when I am actually focused and improving my work, feeling my way as I make it my own. Scary, confronting, but so worthwhile … I just need to survive the next five days.
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October 12th, 2011 at 4:48 pm
Good luck Claire!! I just submitted my Psychology Honours Thesis on Monday – strange feeling! After working on this thing all year, and putting so much of myself into it, I was a little bit sad to let it go. But I do feel a sense of pride and achievement now!
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You can do this blindfolded, Sarah..just think of all the other amazing things you’ve thrown yourself into without experience – TV host, magazine editor….. and I’m sure there are heaps more we will read about in your book!
Stayed focus and keep believing.
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This is written on a scrappy piece of paper taped to my wall. “Jump and the net will appear” Embrace terror – it looks like your enemy but really it’s on your side and pushing you towards success.
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I empathise with you on this at the moment so much. I’m submitting my own book manuscript to my publisher in about three months. I sort of think the ‘final point’, as in, ‘what’s it all about’, will emerge when everything is edited and finished. I have faith in this process – that’s how I finished my PhD thesis
It’s like manuscripts have their own logic.
Anyway, good luck with it all and fingers crossed!
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I admire how you’re so honest, Sarah. Certainly when you leap, we, your audience will catch you.
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My favourite books are the most difficult to explain.
I love them because they give me a feeling, make me think, help me live and see the world differently, beautifully.
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Dear Sarah,
HOW IN THE WORLD DO YOU NOT GET OFF “TRACK” with quitting sugar and overall, just eating healthily for your well being? I’m kind of freaked right now, because I’ve seen myself lately fall into indulging, A LOT. I see myself slipping back into my old eating habits. I see myself not caring as much anymore. It’s like I’m grasping for this continual urge to be the best I can be; I know it’s going to come and go, but heck, I’m afraid this is really going to end with me just quitting eating healthily. What I seem to be grasping for is just air, and I feel like I have the mindset of, ” I’ll do better tomorrow.” But tomorrow never seems to come! Help! I write this after having a really crappy meal, for like the fourth time this week…
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Hi Sarah,
You’re so courageous and voicing your courageousness gives us similar attributes.
This is a really big lesson for you to let go and solidly TRUST the Universe will take care of you and everything. The Universe is a friendly place and has your back… it will be completely taken care of, however that may come about.
Just go with it…
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Just keep going with it and you will get to the end!
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I’m with you, Sarah (and pretty much everyone here, actually) – leaping is the only way I know to do things. I find that if I don’t leap, I just end up second guessing myself and then doubting my decisions and choices.
I just quit my job recently to write my third book (alas, the first two are unpublished… whatever), and now my husband wants to do the same so he can run our side business full time. This means no certain income, mortgage to pay etc, and we’re both 42, so this is no Saturn Return for either of us. I’m freaking out entirely! BUT if we don’t leap in this life, then what’s the point of it? Even so, I’m sick about it all because I can’t see the net.
Good luck to all of the high flyers!
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I can sooo identify Sarah! I’ve been here too. And what worked for me was having faith, listening deeply, asking for guidance and allowing the book’s idea to emerge, rather than trying to force it out. And then more asking and more listening! Go well – you can do it
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how about looking at it one chapter at a time – sometimes looking at the whole can be overwhelming and paralysing. I know for me breaking it down into smaller bites always feels more doable.
Have fun with it… remember why you started it and let go of what it “should” look like.
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Good Luck with your writing Sarah. Recently I read these powerful words:
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I’ll try again tomorrow.”
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