when failure is totally an option
This is an ad for a global sneaker brand, I know. And it’s been, no doubt, developed by a team of brand psychologists who conspire to manipulate the human mind for consumerist outcome.
But.
Gosh, it’s good and touching.
We need to hear from other people – especially people we regard as successful – about how they failed more than they succeeded. For two reasons.
So we know success isn’t something magical and based on luck. That it’s about hard work. And we can all do hard work, right?
And also to remind us that we ONLY succeed by going DOWN into failure. Going down means we then build up “success strength” in the grapple back out. Going down buys us the time to know what we’re doing. Going down cements what we really want (because you have to have something to aim for when you grapple back out). Going down means when we succeed, we’re the real deal, not just a fluke.
To really get the message, you need to see this, too:
I needed to be reminded of this just now. I’m down and grappling back out of something that I’m not good at.
But.
I’m becoming good at it.
As some country and western singer once sang: “I’ve been down so long it looks like up to me”.
Know what I mean?
Very clever, very powerful.
I know what you mean… I have tripped, fallen backwards and laid flat over the years – but it’s true, those falls all got me to to today. This morning I got the washing back in before it started raining! Success
Hang in there Sarah. I self prescribe 1980s’ Pop Psychology dance tunes on grey days, will share this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeyOnNple4M
Shake it sista!
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October 19th, 2011 at 11:27 am
Did they sample an elephant at the start of this song??
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KNOW what you mean. One foot in front of the other, keep close to yourself and one day you will be out. As George once said “Here comes the sun, its been a long cold lonely winter”. Although its been several summers since I have seen it truly shinning. x
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I can so understand this. I have my own business at the age of 23. Sometimes It shits me beyond belief, that everything can go wrong but when something amazing happens that I have worked so hard for it always seems so ridiculously better when it actually happens. Where would the fun and satisfaction be if everything was smooth sailing all the time? I wouldn’t appreciate every little success that we have had along the way!
Love your blog Sarah!
Peta
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Huh. Good timing. I am really struggling with something that I think is about someone else’s perception (for real–I don’t think I am fooling myself). But I am not as worried as I would have been five years ago. I mean, all I can do is my best and have a plan to win over that perception, and if it doesn’t work, maybe it just wasn’t a good fit. Thanks for a timely message!
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I wish someone had told me this when I was 17, would have saved years of confusion.
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October 24th, 2011 at 4:16 pm
I reckon. Sometimes you think you’re the only one who didn’t get the memo.
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You have to admire a corporate giant that can come up with ads like that. I’m facing a possible failure in the next week, organising something from the ground up that is terrifying the hell out of me. I’m trying to take the view that I’ll be proud of what I did no matter what happens.
Shameless plug alert – it’s an evening to bring together people to listen to recorded music and talk about as fans. It’s on twitter as @TheMASsydney. Please delete if I am breaching protocol but I hoped it would fit within the philosophy of the blog.
And the Doors do a great version of the “Been done so very damn long…” song.
Andrew
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I subscribe to the notion that you can never fail as long as you keep trying. You fail when you STOP trying….everything else is part of the learning process…..
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Aaaaaaaaaaaaah I LOVE THIS. I have only ever read it as a quote, but it’s even more awesome in video. (Even if it does plug shameless sweatshop-made consumerism.)
Everyone sucks when they first do something. Very rarely is someone a natural at something. Baby monkeys fall out of trees all the time, and nothing could be natural than monkeys climbing trees.
I think the only antidote to the bad icky feelings that come with failure, is failing. Over and over again, just fail. And get back up. Its never as bad as you feared it would be.
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October 19th, 2011 at 1:01 pm
Agree. We forget that as toddlers, we fail all the time when learning to walk, talk etc but we naturally keep trying without embarrasment or fear of failure. Only thru mistakes do we learn….but somehow self-consciousness creeps in as we get older & we stop trying new things bcos of fear of being ridiculed….
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Sarah,
Thanks for the timely reminder that I’m not alone in my struggle. This particular rut feels long-term but I’m looking for a way out.
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Spooooooorts!!
Finally something I can actually comment on where I know what I’m talking about.
I played ice hockey at a professional level (ok I know it’s a random sport for an aussie but we’re actually quite good). One of the things you learn, particularly in this sport, is that failure is an essential metric to attain success. I was never a pretty goal scorer, more of a scrapper and fighter, I learnt that I was never going to score every time I tried; instead I had to shoot the puck more. Most times I would fail but the more I shot the more chance of a goal, same in a fight the more punches you through the greater chance you have of landing one.
The biggest failure metric was losing a game, it sucks and I hate it. Losing makes all the cuts, stiches and bruises hurt a little more and makes the beers taste bitter, but it’s inevitable. You are going to lose. In sport you fail with everyone watching and that’s where failure as a metric starts to become useful. We would review games, watch tapes of the games and play it over and over in our heads so that would could avoid failure or improve areas of weakness.
Sarah, this post of embracing failure is timely for me because I struggled to embrace this modus operandi in life, and when I failed in my life it all fell apart because I did it alone . No one to review it with, no team mate giving me tips or insights, no visible cuts or bruises, no rules to follow and no coach.
Admitting failure is hard in life, I can’t speak for the ladies, but for men it’s tough to do.
If I can offer some advice, if you think you feel like you’re failing talk to someone, don’t delay. It was really helpful for me to see where I fucked up and how to address it. Finding the goal is the hard part now. So just like sport, you shouldn’t do it alone.
I now see failure as an opportunity to learn and grow, not a indication of weakness. It’s been painful to go through this season but not as painful as losing teeth.
Man I need to eat meat and grunt now!!
Can I plug an upcoming game we holding to raise money for men’s heath?
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October 19th, 2011 at 12:59 pm
My housemate is a hockey man. Its an awesome sport. He seems to relate all my life struggles into hockey analogies quite well, so I think it is quite a good metaphor for life. I dont suppose this charity match is in Perth..? If it is you already have 2 people interested!
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October 19th, 2011 at 1:44 pm
No its in Sydney
It would be worth flying over for, here is a pic of us at last years game for Movember
http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/163748_10150097988752103_563862102_6007136_7568112_n.jpg
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October 19th, 2011 at 4:22 pm
Adam – well said. If I may venture a sexist generalisation, I think men are much better at the failure thing than women, because they tend to play more team sport, and they understand exactly the point you have made.
I wish so much that I had been forced to do sport at school and in particular team sport. I would have learned many valuable lessons I am only learning now. You can be sure that my 8 year old daughter is being forced to do sport.
November 24th, 2011 at 12:30 pm
Hey we had our Movember fundraiser, not sure of the total ammount raised but we did beat Adelaid!
here is a pic of my half asian attempt at a mo http://stphotos.com.au/photos/Ice%20Hockey/movember%20Hockey/_MG_0317%20copy.jpg
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Hi Sarah
Hang in there. I’m a novelist and have written 3 books published by a big publishing house. Some days it feels like I’m pulling out my own brain when I write and other days, I feel like I am being handed an exquisite gift on a platter. Keep going – you’ll win.
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Fall down seven times, get up eight, eh?
I like your comment about “A team of brand psychologists who conspire to manipulate the human mind for consumerist outcome.” It says something about us when so many brilliant, perceptive creative types wind up in advertising and marketing…
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October 19th, 2011 at 12:38 pm
So true!
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[...] So my last few weeks have been a bit dissapointing. But watching these videos has kickstarted my motivation. <I heard about these videos from Sarah Wilson’s recent blogpost> [...]
sending the love sarah, inspiring videos, i’ve never seen the second one before. It’s important to be reminded.. keep on keepin’ on!
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really needed to read this today– thanks xoxo
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Really motivating – thanks Sarah!
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October 24th, 2011 at 4:20 pm
Second that. I could listen to it even without watching the ad. Sexy voice. Maybe I will record it and listen to it every night before I go to sleep. Sigh..
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This statement is what helps me
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/293156_10150290719459626_795709625_7387707_7099296_n.jpg
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There’s a good book on this with almost the same name as your post – It’s called Failure IS an Option: How setbacks Breed Success and it interviews lots of top people like Antonia Kidmana nd Layne Beachley on they view their setbacks.
http://www.doubleday.com.au/Products/Books/Failure+Is+An+Option+by+Terry+Robson/10721_1.aspx
Some audio: http://www.abc.net.au/rn/lifematters/stories/2010/3007535.htm
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love these ads!
I recall being 15 yo and wearing a No Fear brand shirt with ‘Losing is not an Option!’ written accross it. Well, didn’t that start a long lecture session with my dad of how losing is always an option: ‘strive to win, plan to loose’ and yes he did call on sporting legend’s words…Wayne Bennett is I recall correctly. Gotta luv Dad xx
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What to say only brilliant bit of storytelling, advertising and truth all wrapped up in one. Thanks for sharing. xe
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Hey all .. I hear this too, and it’s a really important message .. but be careful not to forget or trash those you love while you fail and strive and fail and succeed … It’s our relationships in life that are the most important things – not succeeding or failing at sport or business. I see too many families and relationships failing while people are consumed by their businesses. All in balance and moderation …
just saying …
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Hey guys
Watch this video – you will know these big name “failures”. Michael Jordan was dropped from his high school basket ball team!! It’s only 1 1/4 minutes long but when you are feeling like you are never going to get where you want to go, this if very uplifting and a timely reminder to listen to your own heart and not what others tell you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tjYoKCBYag
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Those are great videos. Very touching and human. My boyfriend is an artist and he doesn’t believe in the concept of natural talent – he says that he’s just done more of that thing than other people because he loves it. Hard work and practice do make the difference – and that is encouraging, because it’s something we can all do. We can’t all have natural talent, but we CAN all work hard. I’m feeling really positive after seeing these! Thanks.
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