“what’s for you won’t pass you by”
My friend Louise shared this quote with me over Christmas:
what’s for you won’t pass you by
Via FieldCandy
I find it of great comfort. We don’t have to try so hard. Sit back. What is perfect for you will come. Trust life and it’s myriad forces that operate behind the scenes.
I have tended to push way too hard. But I push, I’m often resisting, blocking…why else would it require that I push? I forget that the best things in my life have come when I’ve sat back still and knowing and trusting and magnificent (!) and let things flow in and towards me. So reminders are good.
I also came across this letter from John Steinbeck to his son in 1958, from the book Steinbeck: A Life in Letters. It is another reminder.
The teenager tells Dad he’s in love. Steinbeck’s advice is so sound and caring and helpful (for the full version of the letter, go here).
Dear Thom:
First — if you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.
Second — There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.
….Lastly….
don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens —
The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.
Love,
Fa
I play around with this idea…of letting things come, rather than pushing and fighting, accepting the right thing won’t miss you…a lot here on this blog. It’s become a theme. I like to post reminders of the phenomenon, so we can all find comfort and allow the flow of life to do it’s thing.
Do you have a saying/mantra/thought along these lines, too?
Time and time again I come here Sarah and your words echo what I was just thinking.
And for the most part this year I am going to relax and let it be. So far this year has been surprisingly wonderful. I am gentle with my thoughts and holding on to the notion this can carry on.
* IQS is also giving my clarity. Foggy brain is gone – Happy!
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My mother’s words, that often blare in my mind, are “If it doesn’t fit, don’t force it”! If it is yours you won’t have to force it or turn yourself into a pretzel to get it.
I don’t think this means that everything will come easy, but that the things that are truly meant for us, will continue to come back around. It will naturally fit.
Great post!
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Thanks for this post Sarah! Most of the time I travel along believing that what’s meant to be will be but sometimes in the wee hours of the morning or just before I go to sleep I feel anxious that what I want won’t come. But that’s your point isn’t it? That what we want may never come but what we need always does. I want to find a partner but maybe what I need is to learn to be alone and make peace with it. I am really enjoying being self-sufficient, living at my own pace and getting to know who I am without the influence of another person. And like you say, I find the less I resist it, the more I enjoy it.
One other thing (and I’m so sorry to sound like an annoying grammar person but I think it’s a handy tip to learn): I’ve noticed you often use it’s/its incorrectly. The best way to remember the rule is to only use the apostrophe when you mean to say ‘it is’ (the apostrophe basically replaces the i in is). That’s it. All other times use its. I know it seems really trivial but it can sometimes distract me (if only momentarily!) from your message and I assume I am not alone here. Anyway, hope that helps!
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January 18th, 2012 at 8:35 pm
the perils of auto correct!
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I love what you said here: “If it is right, it happens.”
Sometimes I get really excited about something and I push too much too. My mom told me something similar, “If it’s mean to be, it’s meant to be.”
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What a perfect quote and blog post for this time of year. Just the words I needed to read. Thanks for sharing. Lisa x
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Love this … and I needed the reminder. Thank you.
(…And I like to think it’s probably already finding its way to you…)
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Wonderful reminder thanks Sarah
I also might share the letter with my children for when they fall in love, it’s absolutely beautiful
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Another good – and true – advise I try to follow is: “Don’t push the river – it flows by itself”.
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Needed this today, thanks
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My mother-in-law has many such sayings, but my favourite is ‘You can’t escape your destiny’
(oh & ‘If you don’t touch the poo it won’t stink’ but that’s a whole other story!)
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“Everything is as it should be.” “It is what it is.” Or as Bono sings in Beautiful Day, “What you don’t have, you don’t need it now.”
I do say these a lot, I get the concept, but I am not sure I’ve actually accepted it as truth, deep down where it counts.
I spent a lot of 2011 struggling with uncertainty. Now I realise I was pushing for control. Uncertainty is the control freak’s word for lack of trust in the universe’s great mechanism.
So anyway, here I still sit in this “uncertainty”, because the pushing perpetuated it. But every now and then it flicks into the trust place, and I do understand “everything is as it should be”. So baby steps!
Thanks for the reminder Sarah. As always.
xx
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Sarah, this really resonates for me. I spent 2011 searching and desperately trying to make something happen. And it didn’t. I recently heard something on the radio: basic physics says force equals resistance. How true. Just try to make a 2 year old (or 10 or 15 year old) do something, and you’ll feel the resistance.
So my new year’s resolution is to “Yield” – to relax and allow it(whatever “it” might be) to come. That doesn’t mean I’ll be apathetic, but at least be more gracious and a whole lot less desperate to MAKE things happen.
Thank you again, I love reading your blog. You’ve given me so much through your writing.
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Steinbeck is one of my all time favorites, and Jay Pirini’s biog of Steinbeck is a must read.
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that is so lovely, thankyou.
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[...] “what’s for you won’t pass you by” from Sarah Wilson, in which she quotes from a letter written by John Steinbeck to his son in 1958 where he advises: “…don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.” [...]
I love this as a mantra. My regular, go to mantra is “all is good. i am well” or the inverse (i am well. all is good). I’ve been using that mantra for so long that it’s my fall back whenever I’m out and about. I use it when I’m stuck in traffic, or when I’m a little nervous right before I have to speak or teach. I use it when I’m cooking (LOL) and I even use it when I’m watching TV (but I don’t want anything to do with the latest crippling disease going on on House or whatever drama I might otherwise be enjoying).
But I do love this one. I think I’m going to write up a version of it to share through my Monday Mantras.
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My sister-in-law introduced me to “all is unfolding as it should”, I do remember it when things aren’t going how I want or thought they would.
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I find comfort and wisdom in “I am whole. I am free. I am true to myself. I trust life.”
Sarah, I came to your blog when your Sunday Life column finished. And I visit every day now! Your topics are spot on and your writing style is a lovely combination of personality and rhythym.
Quitting sugar was something I’d tried to do and wanted to revisit. And guess what? I found what I needed on Day 4 of the New Year – with your ebook. So I guess that fits in with today’s wisdom that what you need won’t pass you by (so chill out!).
Oh and I do have to agree with lionheartedgirl’s earlier comment re it’s/ its… But love your work!
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My Dad said – if he is nice to you, but not nice to the waiters. Then he’s not a nice guy.
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January 18th, 2012 at 12:56 pm
Gold. Very true.
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January 18th, 2012 at 8:37 pm
Your Dad is wise
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“Ride the tide.” When life is bad, or when life is good, just ride the tide and the universe will take you right where you are meant to be.
I love that phrase. I am getting it tattooed on my arm next month. It was the favourite saying of a very influential person in my life, a crazy sexy Italian nutcase who passed away shortly after his 21st birthday. It was totally unexpected, and we were all understandably heartbroken. My best mate and I are both getting the Italian translation of the tattoo, to remind us always how short & beautiful life can be, and how to just roll with it when life takes you out to sea… and trust we will always end up in the right place. And of course, to always think about him and smile.
Lovely article Sarah, just what I needed today! Thank you! xx
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That letter–beautiful. I want to keep it to show my kids (when I eventually have them!) when they fall in love! Thank you!
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‘What’s meant to be will always find a way.’ – I try and remind myself of this everyday and tell myself that if something isn’t going to plan or doesn’t work out the way I hoped it would that the universe has bigger plans in place for me. I definitely think we are living the lives we are meant to live – some just find their calling or purpose earlier than others. I also believe that we may want may not necessarily be what’s best for us event though we think we need it and can’t live without it.
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Ok, once again I am so encouraged that there are other people out there doing life with this kind of perspective! This line-
“The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.”
How beautiful and freeing. My greatest answer to healing from Adrenal Burnout came when I finally let go and waited. Then wahla, the answer came- not instantly but in the perfect time. This lesson has transformed how I live my every day. Thanks for the reminder!
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love seeing all the various ways that this same sentiment is expressed. mine is from t.s. elliot “be still and wait”. i have it hanging in my home and office at work.
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Very poignant advice that stands up many years later…
One of my favourite little sayings (which is not often what you want to hear when there is a bit of pushing going on) is “what you resist, persists…” When you just back off it all kind of flows better… Some of us are truly lucky we get to experience a whole lot of stuff that ‘doesn’t miss us’. Be grateful and don’t forget – everyone dies, not everyone gets to live.
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yeah this is how to do it!
sometimes i think maybe im a bit too ok with it all, and someday it’ll come back to bite me, but i cant help thinking and hoping that i’ll be ok with that too and everything will be ok!
my 2c:
i like to remind myself of the benefits of this philosophy this way …
if we look back at past situations where things may have felt really bad at the time, and we felt this is all wrong, this wasn’t how i planned it/i didn’t see this coming/ its not what id hoped for/everything is gonna fall apart/unbearable etc etc … i think we feel at the time that the problem is crushing and sometimes insurmountable … but here we are now, out of it, moved on, sometimes just a little bit moved on, sometimes miles from there, but it seems everything works itself out one way or another and we soldier on, and it really is true that if we are mindful and patient we can learn so much from these situations. and we just have to fight our way thru … get up and start again..
even the gfc is an example, people having alot of distress, worry, and heartbreaking times, some have lost their homes and had to downsize the material things in their lives, but they are still here, we keep on functioning at some level, and if we put our mind to being strong and being open to learning, then we can get through everything. and often a little bit of time heals alot ….
this is something i did not pick up in a way i could practise as a child and am lucky these days to be around someone who is willing to fight to the end for all he believes in and those he cares for, (no matter what comes at him – and alot comes at him!) but in a gentle way that does not impose on any one else … so it’s not just a phrase/words for me, i see it happening in all sorts of examples every day and it is SO inspirational, and worthwhile, and just … meaningful i guess …
the thing is, it’s so easy to live this way, but ONLY IF YOU KNOW HOW/HAVE BEEN SHOWN HOW … so well done on bringing it up, and i hope it spurs many of us to look into this way of being, even just a little bit more … and also help others to become familiar with it – it’s so sad to me that some people’s lives are so very hard, simply because no one has shown them how to make it this way, it’s a practise, but in practising we become more knowing … and hunger to learn more … and suffer less …
everything in divine right order, say it and it will be true, the answer to everything is yes, everything we need is within us, only you can make you happy, treat others as you would like to be treated, don’t always let your instinct rise above your intellect, may we learn to speak our truth and use words that only enhance the silence, live by your beliefs, whatever your thinking, think the opposite …. etc etc etc ….
i find practising yoga in it’s fullness really helps to cultivate this …
and on that, check this out for a funny moment!!
http://youtu.be/IMC1_RH_b3k
(i hope it doesn’t offend anyone?!!)
Lots of love, bright smile,
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Gosh, isn’t this just the hardest philosophy to really, truly embrace? The simplest always are! Difficult to temper faith and flow-ey-ness with action, perseverance and commitment. Where’s the line? I guess it’s about wild aspirations coupled with quiet contentment – if ‘it’ doesn’t work out, that’s ok too.
This is a lovely afternoon meditation, thank you Sarah.
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I love this quote – it is so amazingly timely – something that i often find with many of your blogs Sarah. Today I got settlement and keys to my brand new apartment that I bought and watch being built over the past twelve months. Also in that time my health has improved – also through the help of your blog – and my work has changed. I am also really happy with where I am at with my running and training too! Isn’t it amazing that sometimes when we just try and simplify things and not try and ‘overcrowd’ ourselves we are rewarded in the most wonderful of ways.
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I was just thinking how much I liked this post and that I could benefit from sitting back and letting things happen in their own way. Then I checked a site for my horoscope which confirmed that my theme for this and the next week is to “let it be”. I think someone is trying to tell me something…:-)
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so true, so simple, so beautiful…
thankyou!
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My life mantra (to pause and reflect on .. ) is “this too shall pass” the wisest of words and an ancient wisdom that brings great comfort. One of my daily meditation mantra’s when I feel the pull of ‘making happen – forcing – demanding ‘ is “‘Let Go” The magical power of words have inspired mankind forever! Interestingly life always finds it’s point of balance – often when we get out of the way
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This is amazing. Thank you so much for this piece.
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I agree – to a point. In my own experience what’s for you will pass you by if you’re not open to whatever comes. And by open I don’t mean un-resistant or not pushing, I mean closed down to any other possibilities, thinking there is only one way.
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Thanks Sarah. A lovely post. A very dear friend shared the same wisdom with me last year when we were both looking to move on with our careers and assessing various opportunities. They are indeed wise and comforting words. Another mantra i take great comfort in is ‘I can do anything. But I can’t do everything’. With a big corporate job, two school aged kids, husband, house, AI disease etc, etc, I find this incredibly comforting. it has really forced me to relinquish the things that don’t really matter (ie. folding the washing or having the neatest house) and to recognise that it is impossible to do everything.
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Nice post, but i think it can be a bit dangerous to advise ppl not to “worry” or “hurry” and say thing will happen if it’s right. I think that statement is definitely right at some levels but I think some ppl take those words too literally and does no work for their goal. Whatever it may be.
but overall, very nice post and over nice blog! love it ^^
xoxo HitomiNeko xoox
http://hitomineko-hn.blogspot.com
I’m hosting a giveaway !xoxo
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A very good & heart felt letter, people are so amazing sometimes.
Love the camp site & especially the tent, the little things matter than most but most of us have yet to know of this but when we do unto comes the pure joy of living.
I am on this s site…..http://www.noetic.org/…….discussing the same sort of things; the responses are overwhelming some times. Warning however this site isn’t for the light hearted as it’s about things from science to spiritualism.
Keep up the good work girl you are truly wonderful…..Love Mathew
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My acting teacher had a similar saying: “let it come to you”. He might not have been referring to fate specifically, but this notion of not chasing what you want too hard struck me as something of a revelation, especially in this culture of ours which teaches us to ‘go hard for what we want; that we can achieve anything if we try hard enough’. I like your reference to the underlying anxiety and insecurity which seems to drive this mistaken belief we should try and control things too. It is important, of course to steer your own course, but like a surfer, you can’t determined the shape of each wave.
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I’ve been humming these words to myself all morning, and finally worked out where I know them from… Moloko’s Familiar Feeling. Beautiful song (and very much agree with all these sentiments above also) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjU7FiJLvjU
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[...] woke up this morning with three reminders in my inbox with exactly this phrase. here, here + and in a personal email from a dear [...]
I love that quote Sarah. An Irish friend said it to me many years ago. Thanks for the reminder, it’s particularly applicable to a situation I am currently facing. I always look forward to reading your blog, keep up the great work xx
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What’s for you won’t pass you by – that’s a beautiful sentiment and I do agree with it. Where you are is where you are meant to be. Sometimes it’s a “not happy Jan” sort of place but I accept that I am in it for a reason.
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A beautiful, beautiful, beautiful quote and exactly what my current broken heart and AI struggle needed today. You are a gift Sarah. Thank you x
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Sarah, this is one of your best posts. Thank you for the ongoing inspiration.
Kim
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Now this is a great piece. Kudos!
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This is a wonderful post. Thanks for offering these words…these reminders.
My acupuncturist, who has known me well for many years, recently offered up this:
“Whatever is inevitable…embrace”
…and the Steinbeck letter is priceless.
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I love this. My mantra is a Louise Hay affirmation that my mum taught me as a child. I say it every night as I’m drifting off to sleep and it helps to calm me down when I’m stressed.
‘I trust in the process of life. All I need is always taken care of, I am safe.’
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[...] What’s For You Won’t Pass You By We don’t have to try so hard. Sit back. What is perfect for you will come. Trust life and it’s [...]
I have enjoyed all the comments as much as the post. My sons and their lovely ladyfriends have been steinbecked. Also, the other side of the “what’s for you won’t pass you by” coin, is “the thing that blocks your path, is your path”. Yes, just keep moving through the treacle, maybe it’s fixing your quads on the way past. Lisa
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You can always tell when people put the “listening for quietly”, “waiting”, and “knowing that every-thing will always be right in the end”; into practice over the years:
1. Their shoulders are never held up high, and strained.
2. They look over their own shoulder (as it were) and are excited about what is coming next.
3. No labels are tied to anything that happens.. (Good; then bad; then no, it was good.)
4. They actualy know only one or two really important things in life.. but that is enough.
5. They don’t have to worry about the drunk coming into their intersection, while they are in a car.
Farewell
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[...] Whats for you wont pass you by, because sometimes we need reminding of just how much we are worth. [...]
I have a mantra not so much about the future but about the past –
“Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful; if it’s bad, it’s experience.”
I don’t like the idea of going through life with regrets, what’s for me will either bring me joy or teach me something valuable. The thought brings me peace of mind
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January 23rd, 2012 at 10:25 am
Ellen, I really like most of the mantras above including the one Sarah noted by Steinbeck. Your mantra too really jumps off the page at me.
Good luck to you
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January 23rd, 2012 at 9:18 pm
Ellen, that is so beautifully precise with who we really are, it’s nice when you hear from someone who is similar in understanding, thanks girl I needed that.
I don’t usually exercise in mantras but I did just recently & got such a precise message soon after even I could see it as being the truth.
Anyway the reason that I don’t exercise in mantras & meditate is because I keep getting warnings not too at this stage whatever stage that is!!! I love my life, as you obviously do, no matter what happens….I wrote this half drunk on wine, truthfulness is next to godliness whichever way you take it…..Love Mathew
PS This life has more to offer than we think as you obviously you would know!!! Thank you.
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Thank you for this – I’ve been down for the last couple of weeks and this really cheers me up.
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enjoy your website…i have just come across.
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