I read recently about how Facebook’s incredibly talented and respected CFO Sheryl Sandberg Leaves Work at 5:30.
Image via The Beast magazine
Gobsmacked. How cool. Bloody good on her…. I thought all these things. And I loved that she’d spoken out on it. This is important.
I also liked that it appears not to have affected her career trajectory:
“I walk out of this office every day at 5:30 so I’m home for dinner with my kids at 6:00, and interestingly, I’ve been doing that since I had kids”
But she was somehow ashamed…and had to “justify” it:
”I did that when I was at Google, I did that here, and I would say it’s not until the last year, two years that I’m brave enough to talk about it publicly. Now I certainly wouldn’t lie, but I wasn’t running around giving speeches on it. I was getting up earlier to make sure they saw my emails at 5:30, staying up later to make sure they saw my emails late. But now I think I’m much more confident in where I am and so I’m able to say, ‘Hey! I am leaving work at 5:30.’ And I say it very publicly, both internally and externally.”
The Washington Post makes the point that we need to keep talking about this stuff…to get a better idea of how women are meant to juggle it all. They ask of Sandberg: Does she have a cook? Does her husband cook? Does she have a nanny? Is she involved with the school PTA? Is her husband? When I meet a highly successful woman raising small children who is willing to be real, I ask those questions. It drives me crazy feeling like my generation is left to figure out how to make our lives work when so many other women already have. And is the trail really blazed if you keep it a secret?
Why shouldn’t we work less hours? Evidence suggests we work smarter when our parameters are narrowed. The French have mandated reduced working hours. They like it. Four-day work weeks…I can vouch for them (I still take Thursdays off and get just as much done in a week).
I made the bold move of stepping away from the clock-in-clock-out system a while back and now set my own hours. It took me ages to get used to this idea and I still feel odd finishing at 6pm, when all my career I’ve worked 12-hour days (and listen to me there… boasting about working long hours….attached to it as a badge of dubious honour). It used to baffle me that people finished at 5:30…what did they do after that time? I mean, half a day is still left!?
It’s taken a while, but I have a system now. I’ve set myself up to have the mornings to myself for exercise, meditation and doing stuff that makes life worthwhile. I sit down to start “work” at 10:30am and go through to 6 or so.
I make lunch every day and sit away from the computer to eat it. Mindfully. Staring out to the trees.
I also take most Thursdays off…mostly to rest, but also to have time for reading articles, books, helping other people with projects (all of which is kind of work…but it’s nourishing stuff and breaks the cycle). Has it affected my career trajectory? Nah. It’s set the rules for it. Only the stuff that fits with a lifestyle that acknowledges enough time for things that make life worthwhile makes it onto my schedule. I turn down the rest.
Getting unwell forced me to get real about this. Money doesn’t matter to me. Accolades no longer float my boat. Ditto job titles. So why not live this way? It takes some compromising and tricky maneuvering for most of us…but it’s possible. We just have to set our own parameters.
We also need to share how we do things, how we make work-life work. To this end, I asked a few mates to give me their strategies:
Wendy Harmer, author, radio host, and host of the popular The Hoopla site, says:
The biggest decision in my life/work/love balance has been for my husband to be Mr Stay-At-Home-Dad. He has been doing this since we married almost 20 years ago. I live the freelance life, so being able to take off anywhere, anytime for a gig with him minding the children has been the greatest thing ever.
People always ask me: ” how do you do it all?” I always answer: I don’t. He does half.
Without this partnership I could not have done everything I’ve been able to do. As I write this, he’s with Miss 12 at the pictures, allowing me to finish a book revision.
Darren Rowse, also known as Problogger, shares how he works:
I work at home as an online publisher/blogger and am my own boss. This brings certain opportunities, challenges and temptations when it comes to work. I love my work so could easily spend almost every waking hour at it but family comes first for me.
We have made the decision to work fairly standard business hours.
My day usually starts between 6.30-7am with one of three boys under the ages of six demanding some kind of attention (ranging from ‘look at my lego invention’ through to ‘change my nappy’). I’m hands-on with the kids through to drop-off at school at 9am and then begin my day’s work. I work through until 5pm when I commute (5 meters down a hallway) back to the family to begin our evening routine of dinner, homework, baths, story time and bed. I work in the evenings 3-4 nights a week from 7.30pm until late (or early). Weekends are almost completely work-free times.
Eva Galambos, who runs Parlour X, has a different take:
I make no apologies for the hours that I keep! I pride myself on the fact that I manage my time well enough to ensure that, as a single mum, I am able to run my business inside out & back to front, travel to Paris (& elsewhere) 4 times a year, be a devoted friend, family member & mother, and still manage a healthy social life attending events, birthday parties, general catch-ups with friends & also go on dates! I will never apologise for leaving work at 430 to get home in time to spend the next 4 – 5 hours with my almost 3 year old before I put her to bed. In her waking life, I am still the number 1 primary care-taker & this is paramount to me.
Busy people are doers.
We just know how to squeeze every possible minute out of every day & turn it into productiveness! It’s true that my mind is always ticking & that I manage to duel process & respond to a million emails whilst waiting in a surgery, at the hairdresser, whilst watching cartoons with my kid, or any given opportunity… I also, resume computer correspondence late at night & after I put my child to sleep but mainly because I need to speak with countries that are just beginning their day so that we don’t encounter 24 hour delays in communication. Its just easier this way & I actually don’t mind at all – I am used to operating this way! I have never been a huge sleeper that relies on a certain amount of sleep per night. I always to go to bed late. My daughter sleeps in with me until 730am so our routine works very well together…
At the end of the day, my approach is more European… my daughter fits in with my lifestyle
and not the other way around. I am in charge & I set the boundaries. My child is extremely well behaved & responds very well to limits being enforced. And we work very well together. She is happy & I am happy. What more can we asked for… It’s our perfect existence!
Henrie Stride, Talent Manager at Profile Talent Management (and my former savvy and loving agent) shares her schedule:
I have to pick my son up from after-school care most days by 6pm so I often do have to leave the office by 5.30pm. Now that I can get emails on my phone it’s no longer necessary to be chained to the desk, I get my emails 24/7 and pretty much check them all the time (last thing at night, in the middle of the night and first think in the morning). Ironically most work crisises seem to happen at 5.25pm so all I can say is thank God for Bluetooth and the ability to talk on the phone in the car whilst driving. The truth be known I sometimes have to tell my son to be silent in the car whilst I take an important phone call. He’s very obliging but it can make for an interesting conversation post-call! When my son was small I worked part-time so I could do the pre-school pick-up most days but now I really don’t think you have to stay in the office to work, your work is always with thanks to your phone. Although when you are home at night making dinner, doing homework etc it can be very intrusive to take an important phone call. A couple of my clients tend to finish work at 7pm and call on their way home and I take their calls because I need to speak to them.
Tory Archbold, Managing Director, Torstar Communications says:
One of our agency requirements dealing with so many international brands – zara, mulberry, topshop and topman - and timezones is our ability to be available 24/7. I work this around my other full time role as a single mother to my daughter Isabella who is now 7. I do not get to work before 10am as my morning priority is to get my daughter to school on time and ensure I have cleared, answered or delegated all overnight emails before we depart. I then have a very clear idea of what priorities my business needs to achieve for the day. I call the office after dropping her off to debrief on any urgent matters that require additional explanation that have not been addressed by reply email or require further information for us to service our clients. My official working day starts at 10am and I work through until 5pm in the office or off site at meetings.
It’s amazing what you can fit into the day with priority-based planning and time management.
I am strict with the time I spend with people and ensure it is quality rather than quantity based. I always reply to emails received after 5pm with the same process used in the morning to ensure the flow of communication is seamless. International conference calls occur after my daughter is asleep so I can focus and deliver results.
Juggling a family and a business? Got any tips to share? Are you baffled by the idea of finishing work at 5:30? What’s stopping you?
Great post! Really makes you think doesn’t it. I love the idea of a reading day.
I’ve always felt bad for working too late too often as I wonder if it shows my boss I am not a good time manager and can’t do all my work in work time.
xo
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May 23rd, 2012 at 11:24 am
I feel the opposite! As a young employee I feel as though there’s a degree of expectation to “prove yourself” by working overtime. I usually feel guilty leaving work on time, even if all my work is done.
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May 24th, 2012 at 2:14 am
I feel as though this is very much the case (for all levels) in New York, unfortunately.
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May 24th, 2012 at 2:59 pm
When I was still working full-time (before I went freelance), I would tell my new employer, ‘Just so you know, I work extremely hard when I’m in the office. But I will leave at 5.30pm every day. That time is then mine to rest and be free. I will give you my all at all other times.’ Every day at 5.30, without fail, I would pick up my bag, put on a smile and wave goodbye to everyone in the office.
And you know what? Not once did an employer say, ‘Nah, sorry, no cigar.’ In fact, they’re (apparently) not legally allowed to say that. I even felt my bosses respected me more for setting those terms early on. One said, ‘Some people stay late, but that’s because they work slower or take more breaks during the day. I don’t care, so long as the work is done.’
Too often we give control of our lives to others!
May 25th, 2012 at 11:28 am
That is great and I respect you for it. I would have been fired in my old job for doing that, though, even though it is illegal. (My boss was very possibly the worst boss ever.) But you are right in that it was a choice to stay there (although in this recession, I’m sure there are people who feel like they don’t have a lot of choices).
May 25th, 2012 at 11:22 am
I too feel this expectation. In fact, I raised my concerns over staying late with my director just this week, spurred on by the fact that I missed the majority of my best friend’s farewell due to staying back at work. My director’s response? Nothing, for 4 days, after which she “had to get something off her chest” – the fact that she was enraged I would even say anything about it, when my other colleagues are also working late, and I could have just come in over the weekend. A response that makes no sense! It does demonstrate a very unfair and short sighted expectation of employees, though.
I agree with Kat – too often we hand over control. I’m taking it back, and taking matters into my own hands, and resigning. Life is too short to experience it from behind a computer.
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May 25th, 2012 at 11:29 am
Good for you and good luck! You are right; it’s not worth being miserable. That’s why I left my job! (Although obviously, not everyone is in a position to do that.)
Love this! I am writing a thesis on ‘work life balance’ this year and people have often asked ‘isn’t it just a myth?”… no, only if you want it to be! Like the people mentioned in your article, if you really want to achieve work-life-balance, you learn your priorities and how to get the most out of every part of your life. Great post, thanks Sarah!
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Love this. I get to work around 8 and am out the door by 4.15pm. I have a fairly demanding job in international aid. My colleagues often stay back late and come in boasting about how busy they are, how stressed they are, how they couldn’t possibly leave on time. It drives me crazy. It’s entirely up to you to manage your time so that you can leave “on time”, and not be so stressed out in the process. I know I’m most productive in the morning, so I ‘go hard’ and then take it a bit easier in the afternoon. There are times when I travel so, I need to be kind to myself when I’m home. Health and family is what’s most important. I feel like I spend all day telling colleagues to a) go home when they’re sick and b) go home when it’s dark!
I’ve seen what crazy work hours do to people – and I refuse to go down that path!
I highly doubt I’ll be laying on my death bed saying, “I wish I’d spent more time at work”.
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May 23rd, 2012 at 11:25 am
I love this comment! Completely agree.
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May 23rd, 2012 at 11:54 am
I have noticed that the ones who brag the loudest about working the longest hours are the ones who are usually gossiping instead of working…
“I wish I’d spent more time at work.” Hehehe, love it.
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May 23rd, 2012 at 2:31 pm
I completely agree with this.
It irritates me working for managers who believe you should be present in the office, just to be there. I just don’t see the point in hanging around for the sake of it, twiddling thumbs if I’m on top of my workload.
Mind you, one of my previous bosses used to fall asleep at the desk and spend a lot of time playing sudoku. Another stayed back super late, because they spent the entire morning messing around gossiping etc…
I find it’s usually people who don’t have many priorities outside of work. Which is fine, if that’s their preference. But I do wish to have a life separate to my work! I just feel there is more to life, and wish that people would respect that, just as I respect their own decision to spend long hours being ‘present’ in the workplace!!
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May 23rd, 2012 at 8:17 pm
Yes, resonate completely Karli. I get in at 8.15 and out 5-5.30 latest (my times, my choice). If I need to stay late due to real deadlines, I call it “staying late” not “the usual time I leave”. I have always done it and done it loudly. Re having children (the next posts refer) well I think we all have to find our way. Mine was not working when they were under school age (yes we have a smaller house because of this and a bicycle each not 2 new cars), part time after that and then we moved so they could be independent at high school. Other people make other choices (great! choose!) but they need to live with that and be glad of it! I agree with Jess too that ‘presenteeism’ is b/s. People see through it – I am well regarded at a major fin inst and I don’t do pretending or after hours blackberrying. Lisa
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May 28th, 2012 at 10:08 pm
Lisa, amen. When I had my daughter, i was put into a mother’s group in Albert Park in Melbourne (very ritzy suburb, we were living in a workers cottage on the fringes). All the other mothers were in their late 30′s early 40′s, all had executive husbands and huge mortgages. I remember them saying ‘oh, poor you’, for not being able to afford to go the movies, for having a second-hand pram, for not being able to afford to eat out, etc…
Six months later, ALL of them had to go back to work. Some of them were in tears. They said to me “how lucky you are to be able to stay home with your daughter, how I wish…etc
They could not see the choice they had made, and could not see the choice I had made either. because it IS a choice. I chose my daughter over cars, houses, cafe lattes and new clothes, and I would choose her again and again and again. I was home with her full-time until she was 15 months old. If I had another child, I would CHOOSE the same thing again. Even if it meant living below the poverty line.
Children do not remember what clothes they wore or what car they drove in. They remember how happy their parents were. Trust me. Think back to your own childhood and see what you remember. And on your deathbed, as someone mentioned above, you will not be thinking “wish I’d worked more”, but neither will you be thinking “Junior hated me his whole life because I didn’t dress him in baby-gap and drive him in a BMW to our Queenscliff holiday-house.”
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I like the article but for you average worker who can not be as flexible with works hours it is difficult if you are not your own boss or have a higher position that allows more time flexibility for start and finish hours. If only we could all start work once our kids are at school each morning!! Spare a thought for families who have no other option to put their kid in long day care to work . It would be great if there was a better solution but until then I guess we all do our best
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Years ago when I was at uni full time and working part time, and occasionally wondering how to do it all, someone told me, “The MORE you do, the more you CAN do”.
It really resonated with me, and now as a full time stay at home mum / part time worker, I manage to stay on top of it all by carefully making the most of every minute in the day. I use a calendar, I schedule chores, I make appointments, I pencil my friends in…. whatever it takes to stay organised.
Sometimes this means staying up half the night on my computer to finish a job, but I never have to sacrifice time spent looking after my son – the whole reason I work from home.
I find if I don’t have some kind of plan for what to accomplish each day, I will do nothing.
Thanks for the great post!
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Thanks for giving this some space Sarah. Its funny – I had my first baby almost 7 years ago and it was a struggle because I’d just fallen into the job of my dreams. I rushed back and worked full time (and worked up the ladder) until I had my little boy a year and a half ago…Id done the single mum thing with my first so having an actual real partnership to rely on meant I could breathe out for a bit.
I was so worried about saying to work that I couldnt go back full time for no reason other than just wanting to live my life – not just be a parent but to see the world that existed during business hours. I now work 2 days a week (one in the office, one at home), I freelance write at night when the kiddies are in bed and Im doing my PhD during nap times (his not mine). None of it is to get up the ladder again – I just do it for the joy of it, in my own time and with my own rules. People need to move away from the idea that work has to happen for 12 hours a day
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May 24th, 2012 at 8:48 am
Sarah I have just read your blog and your area of expertise makes me speechless. For everyone else its called thatspaceinbetween.com. In brief it tries to first understand and then makes sense of the loss we endure during our lifetimes. And to explore the inbetween times of our lives. Our life transitions.
Lots of people on this website have health issues (autoimmune) etc which may have lead to a loss. A loss of the ability to work in careers that they might once have desired. Forget the finishing work at 5.30 drama some may even have lost the ability to work at all. Definately all would have had to reframe their lives.
Sarah (Wilson) i would love to hear your intrepretation of your loss. Were you angry, sad, did you fight against it (I sometimes think you still do), why didn’t you listen closely to your Grave’s disease diagnoses in your twenties as an indication of what might come.
While health loss can often be the impetus? to change direction and discover new passions and a new way of living. It is a loss no less. And you live with it silently and somewhat shamefully as if you brought it on yourself.
Thanks Sarah
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May 24th, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Hi Helen – thank you so much for your positive words! Some days I write and write and hear nothing on the end of the (internet) line…its lovely for you to validate my thoughts. Every time I begin to think about one space in between another one comes up. I think that the ambiguous loss that comes from chronic illness is something that most people dont understand – the need to come to terms with the loss of the life you thought you were leading and the making of the space to live in the new one.
Living silently – regardless of the loss – is something I aim to give a voice to on my blog. Sarah’s point about embracing the other parts of your life (that happen after 530!) really resonate with me. x
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It is so satisfying to hear more and more of us are choosing life rather than work being our lives. Something always has to give. With a 4 and 2 year old I realised I was missing so much working such long hours. I got to an stage and age (41) where the title and career were no longer important and what truly mattered – my family and my life, became crystal clear. Employers will be flexible if you have something to offer. They have to be. Women our age are demanding it. Nice post Sarah!
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I would quite happily give up the extra day pay at my job to work 4 days a week instead – and I’m pretty sure I would be a whole lot happier.
Unfortunately, for my line of conventional office work that’s usually the domain of the return-to-work mum or the semi-retired older lady (I say that with no hostility, its just the facts) and not for the unmarried 27 year old with a ‘career’ at her feet.
I feel that if I went to a job saying I only wanted to work 4 days a week they would just think its because I am lazy.
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May 25th, 2012 at 12:51 am
I have just dropped down to a 4 day week because of health reasons, but I really had to push for this, as like you, I am unmarried with no kids, so my employers just did not understand why I would need/want to. I know my colleagues, family & friends think I am “lazy” but I guess you wouldn’t understand the condition unless you have it. Oh well. Thank goodness for this blog and other like minded people.
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May 25th, 2012 at 9:01 am
UK, I’m sorry the people around you can’t see that you need to protect your health. I experienced the presumption in the workplace that ‘work/life balance’ is something only parents should aspire to. Single and/or childless people deserve to have lives outside work, too.
My health is pretty good in general, and I intend to keep it that way. I’m happy to do 60-70 hour weeks if we have a looming deadline, but I am not prepared to accept that kind of workload as ‘normal’. According to my pay slips, I’m on a 36 hour week. In reality I do about 40 most of the time, if I exclude work functions and community service events associated with work. And I think that’s fair!
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May 28th, 2012 at 10:13 pm
I;m sorry too
I am a parent but I don’t think anybody should have to explain why they are workig to live, not living to work. Plus 4 days on and 3 days off should be, I think, the norm! Imagine how wonderful our whole society would be if this was the case!
What a great post and just what I needed! I am about to return to work after a year of maternity leave and I was already feeling guilty about working set hours rather than my previous long long days! This has really made me feel I can still make a valuable contribution.
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I would love to see it become compulsory for everyone to leave work at 5pm (or start early and,leave at 3 or 4). I find it heartbreaking to see kids in daycare till 6pm and parents having 1 hr of quality time at night. Whats more important? The corporate money wheel? Or family time and dinners together…..or exercise…and fun….and life!
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May 29th, 2012 at 12:30 pm
Christine,
I totally agree. It absolutely confounds me that work wins over families all the time! Business hours are between 9 and 5. Why can’t people fit most of their business into this time?
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This post is interesting, what I think people posting here are failing to read is these people are NOT working less! I am in the same situation and even if you leave at 5:30 or 5 or 4, if you have a demanding job then you will be online and working at home at night, on the weekend AND on vacation. You still end up clocking 10-12 hour days (or more)….the only difference is that you have a flexible job and have figured out that you can leave to pick up your kids as long as you do the work sometime. Now, some people don’t have a flexible schedule so they can’t leave early, but those people are also unlikely to be working at night and on vacation or first thing when they wake up.
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May 24th, 2012 at 2:17 am
Yes, I agree. My former boss worked “part time” but with a Blackberry and everything she was expected to do, she still worked at least 8 hours–just not during traditional hours. Maybe it’s just NYC, but I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have to work around the clock, even if not in the office. It’s not something we could have foreseen even 10 years ago, but I wish I had a career where I wasn’t always “on.”
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Love this post. We need to be more direct as women. Set your rules for life and let the workforce work around them. My husband is a stay at home dad while I’m studying to be a doctor and he certainly does more than half. He is amazing
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In my first job, I used to giggle to myself as I set up emails to send themselves at 1am, 3am, 4am… I am an efficient person, and could get my work done to a high standard in the given time, but somehow that didn’t seem enough for my managers, who all had their wives at home, raising their children, doing their washing and shopping… Where is the praise for efficiency?
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Its great that these managers are able to adjust their hours to be able to live their lives and spend time with their families. I just hope they afford the same opportunities to their employees.
The thing most people forget is that we work to live not live to work. There is a life outside your employment. Who will grieve you when you are gone? your old boss? your colleagues? No, but if you put the time into it, your friends and family will ( if you don’t they won’t though)
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May I just say that the work life balance of working mothers is the biggest load of bullshit ever sold to women in the history of the universe. I am a single working mother and by trying to ‘squeeze it all in’ thinking I could do everything, I burned out. If you read through all the ‘strategies’ above, they all involve getting up early to start work before their kids get up, and reply to emails after their kids go to bed. Working in the middle of the night from home is not the same as leaving work at 5.30pm. Eva Galambos replies to emails while watching cartoons with her daughter – she may physically be there but she is really still at work. Wendy Harmer has a stay-at-home hubby – my point exactly. Darren Rose works from home, from 9 to 5pm yet has to work from 7.30pm onwards after his kids go to bed. How is that balance? Its just rejuggling the same hours, but its the same working hours.
I grew up a feminist, but after the birth of my daughter 10 years ago, I am all for just one working parent when kids are young, and one parent to stay at home. The government should do its best to keep single mums at home, not send them out to work.
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May 30th, 2012 at 10:57 am
I agree completely. Parents in America get very little in terms of Gov’t subsidies re: childcare compared to other industrialized nation. It’s quite shocking ppl are still having kids here.
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I agree with this post 150% and I wish I could have the life you describe. I just can’t figure out how I would pay my mortgage, car payment, and monthly bills. I am trying to work toward the simplicity you describe, but I cannot find a method to reach the goal.
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May 27th, 2012 at 11:23 am
I totally agree with you. I’d love to for example work 4 longer days and have Friday off each week but my particular job requires me to be at work everyday. I also don’t have the type of job where it is possible to take work home and work in my own hours. If I wanted to achieve this work-life balance I would probably have to take a pay-cut, but then how do the bills and mortgage get paid?
It is a great post but the way the people above work each day or achieve their work-life balance is just not accessible or realistic for some (or most?)
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[...] I read this fantastic article on Sarah Wilson’s website yesterday. [...]
I learnt an important life lesson from my old boss. He noticed that I sometimes stayed back late to finish tasks. He told me (in no uncertain terms), that my work hours should be more than enough time to finish my work. If there were extenuating circumstances where I had to stay back late, then he would pay me overtime. But if it was because I wasn’t organised enough throughout my day to make the most of my time, then that was my own bad luck to sacrifice my personal time – which is valuable! I have taken this lesson with me into new jobs, where it hasn’t been as appreciated by new bosses, but as long as my work is all completed, then where’s the problem. Best time management gift!
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Thanks for writing about this! It got me reflecting over how my attitude to work has changed over the last year.
I have never really enjoyed my corporate job that much, but unlike some who bash the corporate world to no end, I now just use it to my advantage until I have the opportunity to move into the self-employed arena. I am in the office at 8:45 and I leave between 17:30 and 18:00.
Do I feel guilty if others stay until 19:00? Absolutely not. Last year I was part of a horrendously poorly managed project that required me to come in at 7:00 (of my own accord, mind) and leave close to midnight for two months’ straight. During this time I had no time to continue my running, to socialise or to eat properly. Not so surprisingly I ended up sick as soon as it was all over and now I get flared tonsils every time I’m run down.
What did I get as compensation? A measly raise that covered inflation (having been promised more because I had been promoted) and a couple of half days off. It was immensely frustrating, but ultimately liberating because now I just do what is required of me, no more, no less and save my energy and creativity for my numerous side projects (including looking for a new job!). If I’m involved in a new project that has been poorly organised or is understaffed, I make it clear that improvements need to be made by upper management by working hard during my set 8 hours but not giving more than that. Large companies, especially, should be able to appropriately staff their teams so that their employees don’t have to double up as donkeys.
The real lesson was more to do with learning to value my own time and health and general well-being over covering the arse of incompetent managers. Also, not giving into peer pressure or letting that get to me is something I do with more ease now. It was great to be given the chance to grasp this so early on in my career.
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[...] This piece is making me think about work and how we do it and how long for each day. [...]
I attended a course last night where the work/life balance was a key focus, and one that desperately needs a shift so that people don’t feel bad for leaving the office at a reasonable time. One speaker who is a recruiter said that work hours were probably the main issue with majority of employees and its up to employers to manage this. Very true but it will probably be a long time before the idea of ‘work smarter not harder’ and in less hours is common practice.
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Hi Sarah, thank you for this great post. I fell “over the edge” back in 1992 because I was a people pleaser. I did everything for everyone and worked like a crazy woman. I was in a constant state of anxiety for years. In the end my adrenals gave up and I fell into a deep depression. This was a big wake up call for me to make some big changes in my life.I also don’t worry about money anymore or what others think about me. I practise yoga every day, meditate and lead a very healthy lifestyle. I have learned to love and accept myself and have never been happier.
Thank you
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Having worked many, many years for low pay in charity organisations and spending up to 12 hours a day doing extra, unpaid work, I now refuse to do it. Work-life balance is everything and that means for men as well as women. How much marital dissatisfaction is caused by mums being left at home to do all the child raising while dad is off trying to create the career and income to give his family their lifestyle? We all need to strive for that balance and it requires a massive change of thinking for corporate Australia. I now have a job where I work 8-4.30 and it is wonderful to be able to walk out the door at 4.30, guilt-free. It’s a high stress environment and we all know that we need that time for ourselves at the end of the day.
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Hey Sarah,
i was wondering if it was possible to get you i quit sugar book as an actual book not as an e-book??
thanks
meg
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It seems like we have children or get sick and then find a good work life balance. I work 3.5 to 4 days a week now but I really had to change my mindset to do so. I schedule in down time – yoga classes, lunches with friends, walking my dogs so that the work doesn’t slowly creep back up. I am still on the journey but finding my peace with “doing nothing” comes more easily now.
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Seems like most of you that would like to be able to decrease your hours can afford it. Which is lovely if you can, but some people can’t. I usually work 20-25 hours and with several health issues it gets expensive, so i’m caught in a catch 22. Work more to get more money? Get sicker. Almost get fired for it (again) or stay on this many hours and be sick because I can’t afford the food and meds I need. And I’m not ‘sick enough’ to just leave and get a sickness benefit. Oh to be middle class! …
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May 25th, 2012 at 8:02 pm
Hi Erica
I completely agree with you, and although I have just dropped down to 4 days a week, as a single person with a mortgage and all of the associated bills to pay, it is a struggle!! And I totally agree with the “getting fired” part. I am sorry to hear of your troubles though, and I wish there was a solution for all of us struggling with the same issue!
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What a terrific topic and such brilliant & varied perspectives.
I guess for me the reality of living with adrenal burnout has meant that I have to seriously consider where I invest my time & energy because there’s really limited amounts of both.
It’s not hard for me to know when I’ve robbed from either because I get sick. Sick & tired. It’s no way to live & I wish I’d known about balance as a prevention rather than having to manage it as part of what will hopefully be a cure.
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Sarah thanks for this post. It’s something that I think is really important. I recently went from working at a large “all hours” firm where I was very strong about keeping my spare time spare for me, but still had to work the odd late night (where required – which is a completely different kettle of fish to staying late “for show”), to a company that really values work-life balance and shoos everyone out the door at 5 as a rule (rather than a hard-fought exception).
But I am very very passionate to point out – this is NOT a women’s issue. It is a societal issue. Men should be demanding balance also, and stories of successful men who also leave the office before 6pm and spend quality time with their families should also be spread, to bust the myth that success = working hard = working late at the office.
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In the past 3 months, I have stayed late at my employment once. That was by request of someone else due to a meeting in a different time zone.
I have to get to work early (7.45-8am) because the car park at my train station fills up by 7am. So I finish at 4.
I think official working hours are until 5pm, but when people question it I say “well I can get here early & work til 4 or I can’t get here at all”
Hopefully this won’t be for long as I’m planning on working from home soon, for myself.
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I’m not sure that most of the people that you’ve featured can really claim a great work/life balance. Working remotely (via email, answering calls etc) is still working. Yes, they can pick their kids up from school because they’re senior enough to leave the office at their choosing – but they are still having to put in a lot of hours late at night (especially the woman who wakes up to read emails in the middle of the night?). A real work/life balance means that you don’t have to do that – you leave the office and that is it. If anything the invention of mobile phones and the internet has meant more people are putting in more hours overall into work as it does encroach into your weekends and after hours life. While they are now physically able to leave the office due to these technologies, mentally they’re still there – certainly having your kids in the car and doing conference calls at the same time isn’t exactly spending quality time with them…..
It would also be interesting to hear how the people you featured really juggle things – do they rely heavily on takeaway food? Do they have a cleaner who does all the laundry to free up their time? Who helps out when their child/ren are sick and they still have to work? Some of these people have very demanding careers, and yes, you can’t do everything, so I’m curious to know what they let go to do it.
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May 25th, 2012 at 6:56 pm
I was thinking something similar Heidi. I thought the idea of leaving work by 5:30pm was that you limited your work to 8 hours a day, not that you left the office and continued to work elsewhere for half the night.
Reading through everyone’s comments, I can’t relate at all. People feel guilty for leaving work on time? Why?? It’s basically saying “My boss is a tight arse and hasn’t allocated enough resources to get the job done in the time that he demands, and I should stay back to rectify the situation cos it’s all my fault, and because I feel so responsible I’ll do it for almost no monetary compensation while making sure that he can afford to buy the Ferrari I know he really wants”
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Try being a secondary teacher of senior ( VCE) students and leaving your work ‘behind’ at 5.30. It is routinely expected of teachers that they do HOURS of work after hours during weekday evenings, and at weekends, which is NOT logged and thus not paid for! And before you say, ‘but teachers get such great, long holidays’, they are the comments of those who just don’t know what the REAL life of a teacher consists of, as a matter of course.
I don’t know of ANY teacher who DOES NOT work over their holidays – marking, planning, running extra classes for their students, attending PD events, taking students on overseas’ trips ( so as not to have them out of school during term time!) – and, as per all of the teachers at the Senior Campus at my school – during the last school ‘holidays’ before their students’ end of year exams – running and then correcting practice exams, or running extra holiday classes. That’s par for the course, not unusual. Ok, you might say, ‘whinging! Get another job!’ It’s a pity that has to be necessary, or is the only alternative. It’s a simplistic response. I love my job, but it’s not always a matter of simply ‘choosing’ to work less. Some work does not support this, by it’s very nature!
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To be honest, I’m baffled by the idea of working past 5pm (that is if you work 9-5 hours). I start to feel guilty (for myself and my kids) if I do even just 10 or 15 minutes overtime. I also walk in just at 9am, rarely any earlier, and am the only person to do this in the office. Everyone else gets in early. But I don’t feel bad about this at all. I am an efficient worker, I keep on top of everything, and the managers are very happy with me. If it gets to the point that I can’t keep up with the work, then I would expect that they would need to employ someone else, or otherwise I should get paid if I’m going to be doing any significant overtime. And the people who do excessive amounts of overtime aren’t particularly rewarded for it. It just means the organisation can avoid employing someone else, when really this is what is required sometimes.
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Fantastic and needed post, Sarah. I am catching up on my reading while my two boys snuggle on the couch and read, and I eat my sugar free breakfast {24hr fermented yogurt, almonds, and a dust of sugar-free coconut}.
This time management biz is a learning process for this gal who runs an online Interior Design business, a growing blog and home-schools her two boys. Schedule is key.
I don’t keep regular hours, because my boys are home and I work around their schedule, which cuts up my day. BUT I do keep REGULAR priorities of discipline. In other words, if my children are working and busy, I WORK my tail off. If they need me, I need to have the discipline to put what I am doing on pause.
My husband helps in all areas of the home, which is also key. But again, priorities. I can’t ignore him either. If I do, our beautiful relationship will suffer.
I also have a sitter that comes during the day every Friday. She does science and nature and art projects with the boys.
Our day has a rhythm, not hours, but for me – the key to making it work is remembering what matters most – and being disciplined to stop in my tracks to be present for those who matter most.
- {darlene} @ fieldstonehilldesign.com
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That’s good if you can finish at 5.30 and get home at 6. I finish work between 4.45 and 5 and only get home at 6.30
All thanks to the useless public transport system. If I drove, it would take half an hour to get home.
Though I start work at 7.30. Technically, I should leave earlier:(
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None of the people interviewed “finish” work at 5:30 – they leave the office, but then log on from home and throughout the night. This is endemic for both women and men. There seems to be something heroic about only sleeping 4 or 5 hours a night, and being constantly online. What a dreadful situation we all put ourselves in !
Learning that nothing is so important that you need to be online 24/7 is the key – my “working day” is strictly from 8 am (9am in the office) to 7 pm Mon to Fri whether I’m in the office or not. No mobile phone, email or computer outside of these times and never on weekends (for work use). I drive so I don’t have to rely on public transport, halving my commute time & retaining control. I use bluetooth in the car for conference calls. I run major international IT projects this way, very successfully. And I have a life.
Ask for help at home – yes, he may need prodding. Nicely. Or you may need another partner …
Set expectations at home & work and lead by example.
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Oh gosh, thankyou for including a few single mums in your post as well. I see friends doing the work-life balance and how they work in tandem, and I fret all the time, as it’s just me, it’s just me it’s just me. It’s sometimes very intense.
One thing I have noticed though is that it is actually much easier to be a single mum and running your own business, NOT because you work less (in fact you work more) but because you don’t have to deal with people who don’t understand your need to work in 15-minute blocks and to be super organised. I start to panic when i have to work for or with other people and the time situation is not in my control. I’d like this not to be so, but there are times (like now) when I have very little assistance with my daughter, and life just has to be like this.
In starting up a business, everything went a bit manic for 15 or so months, much like having a new baby. I now switch off at 3pm and switch back on around 8.30 pm, because those are the most important hours of the day for me to be switched on to the little person I share my life with. I turn the phone off completely from Saturday afternoon until Monday morning. I don’t chekc emails at all on Sunday. I sound weird, talking through this little routine, but it takes discipline and i am practising every day. Lovely to read the takes above as well – bless!
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I have a (very infuriating) friend who is always “sooo busy” and “sooo stressed”. She wears her busyness like a badge of honour, yet always seems to know all about the latest reality TV show…
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I’m sorry Sarah but this just makes me a little angry. Not one of your examples actually finishes work at 5:30pm! They may leave the office, but as Heidi, ekougi, & Ce Petit Cochon commented, these people are still working early mornings and late nights. That is not something to be applauded. Sure, they are hard working and dedicated, but at the expense of their family and personal time. Even someone who truly loves what they do needs to take a break each day to spend time with their loved ones and with themselves. We shouldn’t be bragging about answering emails while watching cartoons with our kids or how good our kid is at staying quiet while we make a business call in the car. Our children and partners deserve our undivided attention for the few hours each evening that we spend with them. And we deserve time to ourselves to relax and recharge.
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[...] What would it take for you to finish work at 5:30? [...]
[...] What Would it Take for you to Finish Work at 5:30? by Sarah Wilson. [...]
Sarah have you ever read ‘In Praise of Slowness’ by Carl Honore?
Fantastic book – it challenges the idea that fast = more productivity. Great for supporting anyone in revising the pace at which they are living.
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I think its sad that people -men or women- have to justify their work schedules and brag about ‘squeezing it all in’ and managing their babysitters / late emails / conference calls, etc. These people haven’t realised that there’s more to life than work. I understand that some people love their jobs, but I really hope they’re loving life (and their life as a parent / and their children’s lives) too. My husband and I have taken this year ‘off’ with our two children to travel around Australia. A slight luxury, but we quit jobs and sold our house to be able to do it. This was more important than working like dogs every day, every week, every year, and watching life flying by.. We wanted to get out there and see / experience / enjoy life!
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Another great post – this is so important. my company finishes at 5pm, to us that is totally normal, any later and I would have no time to have a life! it takes an hour to get home,then go to gym, cook dinner then half an hours TV or reading to chill out. leaving any later this would not be possible.
Companies DO make people feel obliged to work late. This is wrong, esp as people take work home now on laptops etc.
Also so many people sit for HOURS in the SAME position looking at a computer screen, this is SO bad for you and your life, work / life balance – in whatever way you choose is SO important…
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I worked a corporate job most of my life… I used to arrive early and stay back late… I really do regret it now… my girls are in their 20′s and early 30′s now…. and I feel I was worked into the ground for others…. my life now is working for a company, but I work from home, spend my hour or so each morning with yoga/meditation or just quiet time… my husband does not understand it, but if he gets up and interrupts my quiet time, then I have to leave….
I suffered a terrible time when I was diagnosed with gluten intolerance, and now eat better, feel better and live life cleaner… things have improved… I do regret the time that I did not spend with my daughters and feel really sad about it… but its too late now. If you have the chance embrace life and your family while you have them… time moves by and things change.
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