But generalisations exist for us to better understand the world. They don’t have to come with judgment. In fact, when we strike with a generalisation, without hesitation or apology, without critical voice, we are celebrating beautiful patterns of humaness. Our need for patterns, to adhere to patterns, is so vulnerable. At this point we connect and like each other.

I like these ones:

1. Coverspy: This cute site (above) posts observations about New Yorkers on the subway. The site describes the person, where they’re heading (and presumably live) and what they’re reading. The picture painted (or implied) so often perfectly confirms a generalisation you might hold about people who read Dan Brown or wear Doc Martens or both. I like how the girl reading Flow is wearing a white skirt.

2. Angry people in local newspapers: Name says it all. As an ex newspaper journo I sooooo know what goes on to produce those classic “disgruntled washing machine consumer” shots.

3. Stuff white people Like: Very very funny; been around a while. Posts include: “Hating people who wear Ed Hardy” and peering into Chinese restaurants to see how many Asians are dining. A high ratio = good, we can dine here.

4. Goths in Hot Weather: I mean, honestly….why? Then again, why not? (PS There’s a wonderfully decked-out goth who works at a pharmacy in North Bondi. There she is, head-to-toe black, serving locals who swan in for Panadol in bikinis and cut off shorts. I love it. She’s a real sweetheart, too).

UPDATE: WIN!!!! I’ve secured 3 copies of Mitch’s new book, Have a Little Faith. I’d love to give them away to three readers who help me out with some great, tender questions. Nothing too complicated or fancy. Add your comments below. (thanks to Sassisam for organising the books!).

If you were in my shoes, what would you want to know about faith, forgiveness, death? Or the art of selling 28 million books in one’s lifetime!!!

His new book Have a Little Faith is about belief and religion. In it he looks at why we turn to faith more and more at the moment…Your thoughts?

I pulled this quote from p176. It has a lovely, melancholy, still, true ring to it:

I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne’er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,
When Sorrow walked with me.

Sundays are sad. So says a Swedish study just out. It found the Sabbath the most depressing day of the week because (and I just love how big, important studies have an uncanny knack for pointing out the bleeding obvious) it’s the day before school and work starts. It also found the mood plunge is particularly profound among married couples and East Germans. (I could venture a theory on this, but I fear it’d only make things bleaker.)

Me, I’ve often found Sundays mood-sinky. When I was a kid, they were Dickensian-grim. As the sun set and the dam snap-froze over for the night, Dad would haul me and my brothers out to the back paddocks to chop wood for the week. Then Mum would line us up on the verandah to scrub knees and cut toenails. We’d catch the last bit of The Wonderful World of Disney before dinner. Then bed, the dread of first period clinging to us, prickly and restrictive like a Fair-Isle jumper in the rain.

As adults, you’d think we’d find a way to address this. To make Sundays sunnier. I know some people head to the pub on Sunday nights by way of a final hoorah to the weekend. This was a fad for a while and I hear it put off the inevitable quite effectively.

But I’ve noticed more recently that Sundays have taken on a panicky, catch-up quality. There’s not enough time in the week to get everything done. Certain tasks – wading through long emails, finishing that advisory report, filling out health insurance forms  – can’t get done in the Monday-Friday flurry. So we set aside “just a few hours” on Sunday afternoon to “get on top of things”. It started as an occasional practice. But now, we can’t get through the week without a Sunday session of ploughing through our inboxes and that stack of background reading next to the couch.

Some time between the Reformation and the advent of MacBook Airs Sundays became a depository for the week’s backlog. A bilge for our bulging commitments. We know life shouldn’t be like this. There should be parameters. Our partners and children resent it. We resent it. And so Sundays have become even sadder because they’re a reminder of all this.

OK, we need a mood shift. Another study, this time by National Geographic explorer Dan Buettner and detailed on TED.com* last month, has found a long and healthy life can be boiled down to nine stupidly simple factors. One of which is taking a day out each week to switch off. Buettner’s research surveyed the Blue Zones (places in the world where folk live longer than average) and found a day of complete rest added years to life expectancy. In days past it was called observing the Sabbath and it entailed full shutdown – no shopping, no errands, no updating Twitter.

I’m not religious, but I decided this week there’s divine logic in “observing a Sabbath”. Actually, let’s break this down. The invitation here is to mindfully witness a day that, by biblical definition, is the first day of the week. So it’s about setting aside 24 hours to lay out a considered launching pad and choosing the tone for what lies ahead. As they say, how you start something is how you finish it.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been observing restful Sundays. It took some hefty erecting of parameters. I turned down a trip to Byron Bay with a big group of friends. I shut the door to my study as a symbolic gesture. And I left my diary in the car to stop myself from doing a bit of scheduling in front of The Good Wife before bed. It took effort. And the floaty feel of the day – I banished all plans and commitments, too – left me feeling a little naked. But I’m getting the hang of it now and my Mondays have been kicking off right on tone. It’s made me calmer and happier.

Back in our grandparents’ day, balancing work and rest was easier – rest days were institutionalised and iphones weren’t invented. But it was only easier. Today, the difference is we have to create our own parameters. Technology – and the rest – will whip us into a frenzy. It will lure us to more “doing”. So we have to diligently carve out our rest. And erect some almighty barrier fencing around it.

* If you don’t already, subscribe to TED.com’s weekly rundown of inspiring talks posted on their site. They make life better.

From Sarah.

Click here to view the embedded video.

(Dear Reader, I’m referring to the above Youtube clip of This Too Shall Pass. I posted their previous clip to the same song because it struck chords. From Sarah.)

So, five bodgy steps:

1. turn oven to 180 or so (my oven doesn’t have a dial)

2. beat 2 egg yolks, 1/2 cup honey and some grapeseed or camelia or just plain olive oil (2 tbls?) with a stab-mixer

3. add this glug to a bowl containing a cup each of grated pumpkin and almond meal, 2 cups of gluten-free flour (I used buckwheat and some besan flour), a big shake of cinnamon, 1 tsp of baking powder, a handful of chopped basil leaves and a fistful of chia seeds.

Chia seeds are a superfood – the most nutritious on the planet, according to some. They contain 19 amino acids, stacks of omega 3 and, oh, the fibre…when added to liquid they get a glutinous coating that makes one’s bowels work somewhat smoothly.

4. then stir in enough water (I don’t really know how much) to get it to a thick consistency (I use the stab-mixer again) and stir in egg whites that you’ve whipped up a treat

5. finally, spoon into muffin trays that are lined with little squares (10cm x10cm?) of baking paper and POP into the oven. After about 5 minutes I sprinkle with some pepitas and then bake for another 10 minutes or so.

Trust me, these will work out. Don’t worry about exact measurements, so long as the consistency is cakey. Bear in mind the chia seeds soak up stacks of liqued. So if you end up with a runny batter-like stodge, add more chia seeds.

*Get fancy and sprinkle with fresh torn basil and some flowers flogged  from the neighbours garden when presenting to friends at brunch when you’re 25 minutes late.

Yum.

a particularly autumnal image, no?

Starting from today, each Friday I’ll post a rundown of random things that make life sweeter as you roll into your weekend. This weekend I’m meeting up with two journos I met on Twitter – journo Caroline Overington and blogger Kerri Sackville. I liked their tweets and thought I’d like to meet them and so I DM’d and Caroline suggested morning tea at her place in Bondi.

As I’ve mentioned before, I do this. I contact like-minded people and suggest a catch-up. It scared me the first time I did it. But now I just plunge in and trust that like-minded people will dig the intention. We have 80-odd years on this planet. I’m not going to sit around wondering what it would be like to meet someone who seems like a lovely, big spirit.

I’m baking rice flour, grated pumpkin, almond meal and basil muffins tomorrow. With chia seeds. I made the recipe up and they worked when I made them last week. They will either impress or repel (I’ll report back).

I’m also off to check out The Corner House, a new bar on Bondi Rd run, in part, by the kids who set up the Wine Shop on Curlewis St. I love how Bondi has become a real neighbourhood with bars and cafes geared at community. Special mention of Bru (which lay out picnic blankets on the nature strip), Flying Squirrel (which opens in the early afternoon on weekends so parents with kids can enjoy an afternoon wine while the kids play on the grass), Luigi’s (where Andy knows everyone’s name) and Greens (where Nick will run up the road and buy gluten-free bread for customer’s like me).

Anyway, I hope your weekend is light and your Sunday devoid of commitments (see my Sunday Life column to get what I mean).

Enjoy x

1. An astute Alain de Botton quote: “To start writing means trying to quieten the thousand internal voices that argue why one is obviously not the right person for the job.” Follow Alain de Botton on Twittter here.

2. Nipple chats: The Times asks whether Carla Bruni should’ve worn a bra with this dress. No Way, is my answer. Nipples are great. They’re unique, often lopsided, and have little personalities of their own. Hannah Betts writes:

Our culture is obsessed with heaving, blancmangey cleavage, but the erect nipple is a far more potent yet insouciant sexual signifier. The pert pap winningly protrudes between the sluttish and the demure: contained arousal, clothed incitement; an invitation more beguiling for being a whisper rather than a shout.

I find it odd that the “younger generation” (God, I can’t believe I say such things…but sometimes it’s required) have such an issue with nipples. The whole padded bra cup thing – I don’t get it. And how hard is it to buy a bra that’s of a sheath-like fabric??? I don’t think it’s prudishness, per se. It’s more to do with denying individual, raw form. Anyhow, I liked that it’s up for discussion.

3. Free Jamie Oliver demo next Sunday afternoon in Sydney. The kid’s chatting about ethical eating. Bring a picnic. Come join me! Jamie in the Park deets here.

4. I’m all about Sprezzatura. Seth Godin chats about this – it’s an archaic Italian word for being able to do your craft without a lot of visible effort. Flow, being streamlined…but with a nicer ring.

5. Under-react to a problem. Nice advice from The Happiness Project.

This week, I’ve invited Melbourne personal trainer, BioSignature practitioner and blogger Kat Eden to give her comic – or otherwise  – input.

thyroid disease can feel like you're hovering in a pool of sludge

I came across Kat on the site Dumb Little Men and loved her tips on living life better. I contacted her cold (it’s one of my favourite things to do – contact someone I find interesting and just start talking) and found her advice very sound, especially in regards to hormones and digestion.

Over to Kat:

What causes this whole caper?

From my way of thinking, and based on clinical experience I’d say stress has to be one of the biggest players in sparking auto-immune disease. In particular chronic stress. It doesn’t really matter where the stress comes from, or even if it’s a whole bunch of little stressors rather than one great big life-changing event. Your body doesn’t separate one type of stress from another in terms of the way your nervous system and hormones respond, so the accumulation of stress can be (often quite suddenly) very toxic.

What makes it worse?

When auto-immune sufferers (particularly those with thyroid dysfunction) fail to include enough protein in their diet things tend to get worse. Low protein intake is actually one of the prime reasons women tend toward hypothyroidism more so than men, and typically higher soy intake by the gals is another risk factor. As a health practitioner I’ve done a full 360 on soy and do not recommend that anyone with thyroid concerns include it in their diet. If you do choose to eat soy, fermented (tempeh) is definitely the way to go. It’s known to be less toxic.

If I had to give you a snapshot plan of action?

It all comes back to giving your body the tools it needs to detoxify stress – that’s definitely the best place to start. For many people that will mean improving quality of sleep (perhaps by taking regular time to wind down before bed, avoiding stimulants in the evening and using a magnesium supplement to aid relaxation).

For others it will mean eating some protein at each meal.

For some it will mean other forms of supplementation such as selenium, an essential mineral with potent antioxidant properties, and known to boost the thyroid.

Other natural approaches to boosting the thyroid include the herb guggul, seaweed salad, and iodine. All tricks and techniques aside, the truth is that different things will work to different degrees for different people – but one of the most powerful things you can do is share your story with others, learn from those who understand what you’re going through, and find an outlet for the things which cause you the most stress, whether physical, emotional, mental or all three.

a woman to aspire to !

The spurious figures:

* Women should be 27 per cent more intelligent: Of the 1,074 couples looked at aged between 19 and 75, the report concluded that the wife should be 27 per cent more intelligent than her husband, hold a degree while he should not.

Hello, the “I just want to marry a plumber” call of just about every smart woman I know has backing! I’m not sure what the evolutionary rationale is to this factoid. And I don’t know whether 40 years ago it was the same. I suspect not.

Perhaps it’s a new quirk in adaptive relating – succesful relationships these days require a lot of smart juggling and emotional awareness. It’s more complex than 40 years ago to run a relationship. Women tend to steer relationships more than men. So smart, emotionally aware women make better relationship partners.

Or it could be that as more women lead more complex, cerebral lives, we seek more grounded, non-intellectual men who don’t get caught up in our head-spinning. Perhaps.

* 5 years: If a couple are seeking a happy and long-lasting union the bride should be five years younger than her groom and from the same cultural background.  Experts from the Geneva School of Business say sticking to this formula increased the chances of having a long and happy marriage by a fifth.

* Three years: It comes as another study revealed yesterday that married couples are their happiest two years, 11 months and eight days after walking down the aisle.

The study also found they enjoy their best sex, romantic meals and nights out with mates partying after two years and four months.

Wives are likely to receive a respectable number of flowers, chocolates and compliments two-and-a-half years into their marriage.

Men helping with household chores like hoovering and cooking peaks just before the their third anniversary, while big arguments will be a distant memory three months later.

If you’re the type who lives a crazy, scattered life (ie you’re not based at home where you can prepare meals sensibly each day), I’d venture to say this detox will save you money.

So, the meals:

* breakfast is a combo of omelettes, rice muesli with poached fruit and rice milk, quiches and this AMAZING brown rice porridge with nuts. Oh, and things are kicked off with a carrot and ginger juice or a Pomegranate number.

* mid-morning and afternoon tea is a combo of hummus with crackers, beans on rice toast, fruit, and a psyllium husk and cranberry muesli bar. I’m a signed-up fan of psyllium husks. They’re a water-soluble fibre that (if you can picture this) grabs onto the food in your gut and drags it through your system in a nice glidey way. Perfect for detoxing.

* lunch is different every day, mostly salads with protein (eggs, chickpeas, chicken) that don’t involve any prep – you just cart to work and take off the lid. I loved the lentil, green bean & roast beetroot salad with balsamic vinegarette

* dinner… generally involves grilling some salmon or quickly stir-frying some chicken and tossing in vegetables. Easy. Like, 2 minutes-easy. I loved the olive-crusted salmon.

You can check out the sample menu here.

The background story: Bianca Monley (that’s her up there) set up the business in 2002. I’d run into her around Bondi, where the business is based, for some time and was always impressed by what she’d created. Over the years I’ve watched the business grow and more and more people sign on. Lara Bingle and Michael Clarke are fans. Funnily enough, I got to know her sister Nadine through meditation (she’s also a makeup artists who used to do my face when I was at Cosmo).

This detox is NOT tough. Only when you look closely you realise you’re not eating many grains, and no sugar or red meat. You also don’t really notice that the portion sizes are smaller than what you might be used to.

And herein lies the real benefit of the Eat FIt Food detox: it’s a re-set button. In 10 days you can get back to a neutral position with your eating and food relationships and sugar levels. Like I said with the juice detox, it’s a food holiday. You can get on with your life and be more seamless and less anxious about the idea of eating. Because someone has done all the angst for you.

The big thing I noticed, now I’m 2 days off the detox, is that I’m sticking to the smaller portion sizes. In 10 days, the smaller sizes became normalised.

So, Juice detox v Eat Fit Food? My thinking is that 1. 10 days is better than 5 for re-establishing a pattern of behaviour and for seeing results 2. I’m an advocate of milder, kinder, seamless approaches to change. This detox is gentle and it kindly steers you back to sensible eating. Restrictive programs are good, say, once a year. But the value of this Eat Fit Food one is that you could sign on every few months, to keep yourself on track.

It helped that I did this during FebFast (so no alcohol…I’d recommend your doing the same, but then, I would, wouldn’t I!). I also requested no gluten (although the program is mostly gluten-free). You can request other dietary preferences.

Ray Bradbury was a freelance writer who was trying to support his family. However, he was working at home with his cute little children. This proved to be incredibly distracting, so he had to find somewhere else to write. So, he headed over to UCLA’s Lawrence Clark Powell Library.

In the basement of the library there was a number of typewriters that gave 30 minutes of writing time for a dime.

Ray was very poor at the time, and needed all the money he could to support his family. Whenever he popped in the dime, he wanted to get his month’s worth. This forced him to write at a frantic pace until his time was up. The most frustrating element of writing the novel was when the typewriter keys tangled, because it meant that he was wasting valuable time.

In between these 30 minute typewriter banging sessions, he would wander the halls of the library studying books and contemplating what he would write for the next 30 minutes.

The novel Ray finished was classic sci-fi novel Fahrenheit 451. He created this novel in record amount of time, and recalled feeling as if the flow of time had accelerated. The novel wrote itself, effortlessly.

Tough times are the friction required for launching off into great things. This is why people from grim backgrounds can often go off to contribute marvellous things to life.

And limited resources force you to focus on your creativity.

I often create limited resources when I have to get something done, like my weekly column. I create short deadlines that I have to work to. I make sure they’re REAL deadlines. Like, yesterday, I had to do a phone interview at 3.30. That was my deadline. It meant I couldn’t go down the road for a tea at 11 to read the papers. And I had to turn off my email for a few hours.

What do you do?