This week in Sunday Life I anti-Christmas

Photo via twistedvintage.blogspot.com

Christmas is like cheap pizza – all cheesy, intoxicating promise, but somehow (so disappointingly!) winds up tasting like cardboard.

Actually, correction. Christmas is like cheap pizza to the violently lactose and gluten-intolerant – something everyone else seems to enjoy, while you get…tofu.

Why all the bah humbuggery? At the core of my festive deflation is the mass, crass, exhausting, relationship-compromising ritual of buying presents. Did you see that Black Friday footage from the US? The whole notion of massly, crassly buying up stuff for “loved ones” seems to send human nature to its most depraved base. And the fact that it’s such a far cry from the original premise of festive giving just deepens my malaise. As, I think, it does for so many.

Admittedly my family as a whole is particularly and notoriously awkward with the ritual of gift-giving. We always keep our receipts; invariably our Kris Kringle recipient feels guilty accepting anything isn’t wholly functional and necessary. Um, I just don’t think I’ll get maximum salad-making use out of the hand-carved bowl you paddled three days through shark-infested waters to some Solomon archipelago to purchase. I know, why don’t you just keep it?

Over the years, we’ve tried all kinds of consumerist-dodging approaches, but none have really hit the right tone. We’ve done Kris Kringle with an upper price limit of $20 (which pretty much gets you a Led Zeppelin CD from the discount bin). We went through a giving-a-goat-to-a-third-world-village phase. We spent lunch wondering whether said village ever got said goat, which was a bit of a cracker fizzler.  One year we all got a boxing bag from Mum and Dad. Not each. One to share between six. The next year it was one-sixth of a ping-pong table. The idea was to generate less “stuff”, a commons approach. Which would have been sound if we weren’t all adults living in different states.

So what’s the nourishing, satisfying, happy way to navigate one’s way through this? The thing is we humans actually do like giving. A bunch of studies show that one of the most effective way to get a happiness hit is to give away your money,

I’ve been cooking a little lately. Experimenting. And I’ve found a few things that I reckon will make very nice Christmas gifts. I’ve got some friends coming around over the weekend to whip up some of the below to hand to Good People Who’ve Done Good Things By Me in 2011. And boy have there have been a few. Got some ideas yourself…share below!

photo via Andrew Scrivani

I love this idea, which I’m modifying from Martha Rose Shulman.

 marinated goat cheese

For a 1-cup jar:

• 1 teaspoon mixed red, black and white peppercorns, lightly crushed
• 2 garlic cloves, peeled
• 2 bay leaves, broken into pieces
• A 3 ounce log of goat cheese (I buy mine from the local markets here. Martha used a round log, but you could do squares from a block…I did)
• 2 sprigs thyme
• 2 sprigs rosemary
• Extra virgin olive oil as needed

Whack peppercorns, garlic cloves and bay leaves in a clean, sterilized wide-mouthed jar. Pour in a film of olive oil.

Cut the goat cheese into rounds 1/2 inch thick (Martha uses unflavored dental floss to cut through the cheese!! Clever!!). Place one round in the jar and drizzle on some olive oil. Stack the remaining rounds, drizzling oil

Shall I share some sweet irony with you? Or perhaps you’ll call it muddled, unfocused hypocrisy? Recently I flew to Sydney to appear in this Australian Women’s Weekly Christmas shoot below. Myself and a bunch of other (too?) oft-photographed ladies were asked “what’s the perfect gift that money can’t buy”. I said: “rest”.

As usual, the trip was frenetic and involved air-conditioned hotel rooms and flights and running late and chemical-ly makeup (although the team decided to go with a “natural look” for me, which is always a bit of a narcissistic conundrum when you’re the oldest and biggest on the shoot!). By the time I got to the studios I was, well, very unrested. And unanchored.

That night I lay awake in my hotel room unable to sleep. I hadn’t slept for weeks (months?). And in that moment I realised I had to put my book project on hold, which I shared with you here.

I needed rest. I had to really commit to getting it. I had to get real.

Irony…hypocrisy…whatever…truth comes and finds you.

Since all this I’ve had to have a good think about rest.

Resting is not just putting our feet up on the couch when we collapse in a heap, exhausted. Resting is a responsible way of living.

Oh goodness, it’s a month to Christmas. I have the smell of pine needles in my nose, the taste of prawns and cherries in my being (both staples at our Christmas lunch), and I’m priming myself for the after-lunch delirious wrestle with my brothers. 

I’m not a big fan of mass present-buying. Consumerism is something I actively avoid. All that said, gift giving is lovely, especially if it’s mindful. So I’ve decided to share some ideas I’ve accumulated over the year: products that grabbed me, or are mindfully made and have a touch of quirky expression to them, or are made by friends of this blog. I’ve even secured a few special offers for readers on this blog. Happy Crazy Season!

1. exfoliating cleansing bar by Miessence

Something for your brother: $9.95. I love this exfoliating Cleansing Bar ( in both geranium + tea tree). Soap-on-a-rope that’s good enough to eat, making a simple, all-round gift. Miessence products are possibly the most legitimately toxin-free products on the planet. EWG’s cosmetic database rates it in their top 5 brands and it’s a local (Queensland) company run by one very passionate Narelle.

As a lovely Noel gesture, Narelle is offering readers here 30% off any Miessence purchase over $100 (buy a few soaps for friends and family!). Details here, and make sure you use the code SWB, from December 01 – 25.

Dearest Readers of this Blog,

A little note to say this: I’ve so appreciated all the care and engagement you’ve extended to me (virtually) over the year. I’ve loved the way we humans have found a new way to “have the chat over the back fence” our grandmothers used to have. Mostly, most of us just want to know we’re not alone. Really. And to know that we’re not getting life completely wrong.

The comments on this blog over the year have done that for me.

Also, a note to say this: Happy Christmas!

Christmas is a powerful time. I find it hard. Lots of water gets muddied cos we all arrive on the day trampling around with our old hurt as well as stress from the year – getting shitty that no one else is picking up the wrapping paper and so on. It can be a lonely time. Even if you have loved ones around you.

I’m just saying…in case you feel the same…and wouldn’t mind knowing others could also be heading off to the kitchen under the pretense of going to get more turkey but really to take a moment and to fight back a few overwhelmed tears.

Anyway. I do hope you all have a wonderful festive break. I’m filming 7pm Project tonight. Then I fly to Canberra tomorrow morning for a loud, shambolic romp with my family. With a wrestle after lunch on the familyroom floor. You, too??

Much love and light,

sx

PS If you’re feeling love for your Twitter followers, I just found this service - Gift a Follower – that allows you to by presents for your faves.

PPS The picture above is one of those DAGGY family pics you get done in malls that Dad got all excited about and had turned into Christmas cards. They didn’t have enough costumes for us, so I’m kind of kneeling down, wrapped in the Queen’s cloak. Very unimpressed. Very daggy. Very Christmas!!

Christmas time, right. Time to care, really.

In my family, we don’t do presents…which leaves a gaping hole for giving in other ways. Below are a few ideas, based mostly on some projects I’m working on…

1. give $2 to the homeless in your ‘hood.

I’m an ambassador for StreetSmart. So, is Stephen Fry! In the lead-up to Christmas, StreetSmart  restaurants – Longrain, Otto, Coast, Universal, Sake, Red Spice Road, Mezzo Bar&Grill, Ladro, Cutler & Co, Il Centro Restaurant & Bar, ecco Bistro, Urbane and hundreds of others – ask diners to donate $2 to StreetSmart on their bill.

The two bucks is simply added to your bill.  I’ve always liked this idea…it gives you the option to opt out…but invites you with conviction to give…it makes it easier for us to care, which I think we all want.

The cash goes to homeless projects in nearby areas – choirs, book exchanges and simple accommodation and food. This matters. Donating local I think is good. It’s more intimate. You’re more part of it. Your care is tangible.

I guess what you can do is choose to eat at a participating restaurant. And ask your favourite cafe/restaurant to take part next year.

2. if you’re buying gifts…

…check out this Women in Business gift guide Clare put together, which supports Australian women in business.

And avoid products made by this list of companies that committed some pretty sexist acts this year.

3. donate to Aboriginal literacy

Four out of 5 Aboriginal kids in remote communities can’t read. Donate some extra $$ to the Australian Literacy & Numeracy Foundation here.

4. or donate to young girls.

I’m also involved in the Because I Am a Girl campaign. ‘Because I am a Girl’ is Plan International’s global campaign to fight gender inequality, promote girls’ rights and lift millions of girls out of poverty. If you want to know why this matters…click here.

Do you have any gift ideas that matter? I’m happy for you to add here…