If your life is feeling a little like you’re forcing shit up hill right now (and I think some of us have so far this year),  you might like to reflect on this: Sukshma.

Photo by Aquabumps

In Sanskrit it means “subtle”. Actually, it means more than that…it’s to touch life “innocently, faintly and effortlessly”. It softens. It allows compassion.

Like when a child touches your arm when they come out at night to tell you they can’t sleep.

I was taught this term when I first learned to meditate. Sometimes, when you meditate, you can go at it aggressively, forcing yourself (with internal berating) back to your mantra or third eye or candle flame or whatever when your mind wanders. And you get grumpy with yourself for “not doing it right” and not being able to stay focused. But this is highly unuseful in meditation. It kinda ruins the vibe.

My teacher taught me to try instead to return to focus with sukshma. Sukshma is a gentle steering, like we’re merely turning our head gently from the action over there to the left of us, back to centre. Gently and kindly.With no expectation of outcome. It’s feather light.

Lately I’ve been applying sukshma beyond meditation. And this, of course, is the point of meditation – to take the consciousness you foster in meditation out into the world. Who wants to stay in the cave on the bloody mountain, I ask you?! (Indeed, I asked the Dalai Lama the same and he agreed as much.)

I tend to internally berate and bludgeon myself with all kinds of silent but violent verbal abuse. It’s pretty non-stop. You’re either a carrot or a stick person. I’m a stick person. It’s got me places with my career. But at a cost. Part of that cost is a friction.

I’m always banging my little square self into round holes. The friction hurts.

I interviewed His Holiness for Sunday Night on Channel Seven. Here it is…

This week in Sunday Life I try “infinite altruism”

There’s something special about His Holiness the Dalai Lama, if I can be permitted such an obviousism. Something disarming. It’s the way he answers questions like, Is being gay OK? His response to a journalist once makes me smile: “I will ask ‘What is your companion’s opinion?’. If you both agree…then it is okay’”.  It’s the way he quietly takes off his shoes while presenting to 3000 people and sits with his brown fluffy-socked feet tucked under him, as he did during his recent visit.

On Friday I met His Holiness for the third time. Each visit I’ve expected it to be a bit like Christmas – all build-up, then more of the same.

But he gets me every time.

This visit I asked if it’s better to pursue happiness or altruism. He wagged a finger at me: “Altruism! Because altruism is the easiest, fastest way to be happy.” Infinite altruism, he said was his life goal. Every morning after waking at 3.30am he consciously offers his “body and mind to the purpose of others”.

“This is what brings me my joyfulness,” he said rather significantly.

I think I mentioned, I chaired the Happiness & It’s Causes Conference in Brisbane on Friday. I know a few of you were there. It really was very special…Big minds, big hearts, grappling with all the stuff that counts. Lots of stuff on using our minds for good, chimps and peace (ergo the cute-as pic below).

There were a few highlights…things that got me thinking.

On creativity…

Matthieu Ricard (the man known as The Happiest Man in The World) sat with me in the Green Room, leant over and said, “I find this idea of ‘creativity’ weird”. How so? “There’s no Tibetan word for creativity…it’s a peculiar Western obsession.” He didn’t say too much more on this. Basically, he was saying that it’s odd that we separate creativity from the act of giving. I guess it is funny that we have this need to…to think we must delineate our creations, rather than just offer them.

I’m in “Dalai Lama” land right now. Yesterday I interviewed him and we had a giggle. Tomorrow I’m chairing the Happiness & It’s Causes conference where he’s the guest speaker.

In this shot (with the crew) he’s squeezing my hand over and over. And kept winking.

Then, a few hours later, in the hotel lobby where I was working on my laptop, he and his entourage flurried by and he gave me a double thumbs up and a big grin. It cracked me up.

Some of you have asked “what is he like”. It sounds sappy, but his energy is very magical. In an ordinary way. He doesn’t try, he doesn’t force, he doesn’t judge. He’s “a simple Buddhist monk” who gets it, gets us…this is a skill. A quality. He is able to tap into the Western malaise and give us the right kind of comfort (see my last interview with him 18 months ago to read what he says about our frantic efforts to “still the mind”…his response says it all).

I feel very, very lucky.

PS. I also had a lovely, warm chat with Matthieu Ricard today. It’s been all about the monks!

Hey all, I’m chairing next year’s Happiness & Its Causes conference 16-17 June 2011 at the Brisbane Convention & Exhibition Centre…the day His Holiness the Dalai Lama is speaking (he’s not speaking in Sydney this time). As a special offer I’m able to offer all you lot 15 % discount off the early bird price which closes on the 23 December.

You’ll need to call customer service on 02 8719 5118 and quote “SPEAKER” to claim the discount. The conference program, full list of speakers and brochure are available on www.happinessanditscauses.com.au

His Holiness will take part in the Science of Mind Forum with pioneering emotions researcher Dr Paul Ekman and leading mirror neurons and empathy researcher Professor Marco Iacoboni;  and internationally renowned mental health researcher and Australian of the Year 2010, Professor Pat McGorry. Other speakers confirmed include renowned primatologist Dr Jane Goodall;